September 2025

you see two doors.

in front of one of them is elias bouchard. in front of the other is annabelle cane.

“this is exactly what it looks like,” annabelle says.

(what does it look like?)

“one of us always tells the truth. the other always lies.” says elias.

(oh.)

(oh no.)

you hear a voice from behind you. “yeah, they’re playing that stupid game again. wanna go this way instead? ☺️”

it’s helen distortion! (yayyyyy— wait. no—)

as per The Riddle, what questions do you start asking?

tma au where everyone’s chill with jon being the World’s Spookiest Interviewer and lets him keep taking live statements, inadvertently sabotaging elias’s whole plan

jon’s not the one talking anymore when he takes his statements, and now no one can do the ritual.

someone comes into the magnus institute to give a statement. they glance at jon’s computer screen and see one single folder titled “discredited.” the suspicious lack of any digital folders for investigated or verified statements leads them to believe that all statements are, by default, discredited.

they go home and make a 5 hour youtube video essay cancelling the magnus institute for ‘automatically discrediting all statements’

“what do you bring to the table?”

an axe.

on the day of jon’s interview at The Magnus Institute elias makes sure to put a sign on his door that says “It Is Polite To Knock 😊”

who is season 1-2 jon’s emergency contact?

georgie (his ex?? really?)

elias (his BOSS??)

tim and/or sasha (actual sensible option. yet feels more wrong than the first 2)

martin (THERE’S NO WAY. HE’D RATHER DIE)

no one (<- correct answer,,but isn’t funny at all. so please see options 1-4)

See Results

s1 jon goes to an audio equipment repair shop after trying to record the same statement 9 times but the files keep getting corrupted

the repair guy sees there’s nothing wrong with the audio equipment and jokes that the audio distortions ‘must be ghosts’

jon denies it a little too vehemently.

they just don’t make characters like martin blackwood. he’s perfect in ways I didn’t know was possible. no one could ever dislikes him because every word that comes out of his mouth fills everyone with so much light and joy that it practically makes life worth living. he’s so smart and capable, but never gets an ego about it. it’s not even clear if he’s aware of how smart he is. he’s incredibly sweet and kind but still has a backbone and can and will take a stand when necessary. he deserves the world but the world doesn’t deserve him.

elias is such a hilarious character because his whole motive is so cartoonishly evil (world domination, immortality, the whole Bringing The Apocalypse thing), yet his whole demeanor is so serious and down to earth.

elias “don’t be so dramatic” bouchard looks everyone dead in the eye and tells them that it’s very important to file their paperwork properly and if they waste company funds he’ll have to write them up and reprimand them on their next performance review.

then everyone leaves the room and he continues orchestrating the end of the world, as if financial responsibility and Ending All Humanity are tasks of equal importance and significance.

mandatory movie night at the magnus institute

elias makes them all watch The Truman Show

(it’s the eye’s favorite movie)

the only three Magnus Institute characters who died before finding out what genre they were in

always crying over The Tragic Death Trio

rip tim stoker but if I was mad at my boss for stalking me and three other people on suspicions that one of us is a violent murderer, and then we found out that TWO of us were violent murderers, not only would I not be mad at him anymore but I’d be thanking him for his service

me at the start of tma (a day away from dropping it because I found it boring): the stories are fine ig, but the fact that they’re all very clearly told in the same writing style even though they’re supposed to be from people of a variety of ages and backgrounds is really taking me out of this.

me over a year later, after giving tma another shot: OH SO THERE WAS A REASON FOR THAT.

btw THIS Is what I mean when I say elias has such strong claudius vibes

ik I said in the tags of that other post that elias treats jon the way claudius treats laertes but it’s so.

it’s just- the way they encourage and gently guide them to lean into their impulses to make increasingly destructive decisions