I missed one REALLY obvious parallel and so I gotta tell you all about it now.
CADEROUSSE = RODERIGO
For all of you who are like “who’s Roderigo?” And “what does Caderousse have to do with Roderigo?” It’s ok. I’ll tell you the similarities right now.
SO They both have this “friend” who gives them bad advice in a way that sounds like good advice, so they take the advice, which turns out to not end too well for them. And that “friend” ends up stabbing them and they die. But they happen to have a letter in their pocket at the time listing the crimes of this “friend”, which is later found and used against the “friend”. SO YEAH I THINK IT’S A PRETTY GOOD PARALLEL.
who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite
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OK LET ME TALK ABOUT HORATIO
Horatio is such a good foil to Hamlet. And such a good friend. And also the fact that Horatio is even friends with Hamlet in the first place says *so much* about pre-dead dad Hamlet. Because Horatio’s a very sensible guy. He wouldn’t be friends with just anyone. Which means that pre-dead dad Hamlet would have to have been 1) at least somewhat of a polite and respectful person, because I can’t imagine Horatio being friends with someone who isn’t at least moderately respectful 2) not overly intense, because Horatio seems to be more of an introvert, and (generally speaking) overly intense people would be exhausting to hang out with. Not saying he wouldn’t be friends with *anyone* like that, just saying it would be hard to become super *close* friends with intense people. Both of those two things change post-dead dad Hamlet. But we can be nearly certain that Hamlet was somewhat polite and chill back when he met Horatio.
So yeah I know I’m supposed to be talking about Horatio and I went off on a tangent about Hamlet. Oh well.
Anyway in conclusion I think Horatio’s neat and kinda underrated (not by the fandom, but by High school students as a whole).
Also. Can I just say. I have no idea how he puts up with Hamlet throughout the play. Don’t get me wrong, I love Hamlet. But I love him as a fictional character. If he were a real person and I were Horatio I’d probably tell him to shut up and leave me alone. So yeah congrats to Horatio for somehow tolerating him.
who? | only know their name | loathe | ugh | overrated | indifferent | dead | alive | just okay | cute | badass | my baby | hot | want to marry | favorite
OK NOW LET’S TALK ABOUT LEAR
So. He’s an idiot. An absolute idiot. I wouldn’t necessarily say he’s an abusive parent or anything, because that’s more of a headcanon and not directly for the text. But based on his actions in the play alone I’d say he’s an absolute idiot. He literally goes from “oh yes my favorite daughter is Cordelia I love her so much” (and anyway dude why are you choosing favorites?? Now you just gave your other two kids valid reasons to hate you!) to “Oh man I hate Cordelia she’s the worst because she won’t play this game called “Praise me endlessly!””.
I mean I’m no therapist. But I think he maybe should go see one. Is there such a thing as family therapy? If there is the Lear family and the Gloucester family should definitely go.
By the end I sort of felt bad for him because he was finally getting it that he messed up. Maybe if he would have had more time alive he would have realize that he mistreated all 3 of his daughters and not just Cordelia. But nope. He died before he could figure that out.
Also I guess I should take into account that he did the standard Shakespeare character move of “going mad”. Which probably has a medical term nowadays but I’m no doctor so I’m not going to try to diagnose him. Anyway. Regarding said madness. Maybe some of his actions could be excused as just early signs of said madness and not really his acting out of free will? Idk. I’m not a doctor.
One day autocorrect is going to change Fernand to Ferdinand or vice vera, and either the entire tcomc fandom or the entire fandom of The Tempest is going to be yelling at me in the comments
Lear: I’m gonna exile the one child that loves and respects me.
Gloucester, to Edmund: wow, that seems pretty stupid
*a few minutes later*
Gloucester: I’m gonna send my guards to find and kill the one child that loves and respects me
( @sargent-major-jane I deeply apologize for how disappointing this is gonna be- re-writing songs really isn’t one of my strong points)
Ok. So here’s probably the only parody song I put even a drop of effort into-
It’s a parody of Hans of the Southern Isles from the broadway version of Frozen
(And here’s a link to that- please listen to it first if you don’t know it- it’s very short so don’t worry about it taking up too much time https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCIuNPArM6Y )
And here’s the re-write version, replacing Hans and Anna with Edmund and Goneril:
“Wait! You don’t have to hide your intentions! Mrs. “oh,.. I love my dad!”… because I’m well aware that you have reasons to be mad….
I’m only the bastard son of an earl
Of a boring city
Full of boring people
Living their lives
So no one remembers my humble face
Or my charm and grace
Of all praise I am deprived
I’ve spend many nights thinking
And finally made a plan
To claim my rightful title
To get revenge, the money and the land!
So please allow me to work beside you
Trust that I will do my best to serve and guide you
I can relate- my father’s crazy and my brother’s gone!
So you see, we are quit the same
So let’s win this game
And together we’ll live on”
And that’s that- enjoy this beautiful train wreck of a song
Loving Shakespearean Characters is so annoying because YES I love Horatio NO I don’t know why (what does he even do other than put up with Hamlet’s stupidity?) YES I love Ophelia NO I don’t know why (what does she even do other than NOT put up with Hamlet’s stupidity?) YES I love Laertes NO I don’t know why (he’s cool but he did technically kill Hamlet) Yes it goes without saying I love Hamlet, No I don’t know why
And repeat this process for every single Shakespeare play.
Hamlet didn’t tell Horatio he’s a prince when they met because he assumed he already knew. Horatio didn’t know and tbh wouldn’t have become friends with him because he’s smart enough to know that becoming friends with a prince = a high probability of getting mixed up in unnecessary drama.
Hey dad, dead dad I need a little help here I’m prob'ly talking to myself here But dead dad, I gotta ask Are you really in the ground? ‘Cause I hear you all around me Are you here, dead dad? Dead dad
Dead dad,
I’m tired of trying to iron out my creases
I’m a bunch of broken pieces It was you who made me whole Every day they’re staring at me Like all, “Hurry up, get happy Move along Forget about your dad”
'Cause mother’s in denial Mother doesn’t wanna feel She wants me to smile And clap like a performing seal Was faking for a while But I might lose my mind for real You won’t believe the mess that we’ve become
You’re my home My destination And I’m your clone Your strange creation You held my hand And life came easy Now jokes don’t land And no one sees me Nothing seems to fit Father is this it? Are you receiving? I want something to believe in or I’ll go mad
They’ll soon ship me to England
or I’ll be here in Denmark
Call when vengeance can be had! Mother’s moving forward Mother didn’t lose a dad
Father won’t you send a sign? I’m running out of hope and time My two friends spied, My girlfriend died Hope’s nowhere to be had
No more playing Uncle’s game I’ll go insane if things don’t change Whatever it takes ‘til vengeance can be claimed Dead dad!
