Hamlet roasting people- part 2
Are we all going to ignore the fact that Laertes cannonly has a fan club
I was casually on sparknotes because I wanted to see how they translated Edmund’s soliloquy, and-
The original line:
-strongly worded
-bold
-makes him sound like he could definitely succeed with his plot
The new and improved line:
-what
-he sounds like a child
-I’m literally picturing 10 year old Edmund now
Original line:
“oh you’re into that now?”
New and improved line:
“you’re wasting your time with that? Really? You absolute idiot.”
Ok so has anyone seen any production of Hamlet ever where Hamlet Sr. and Claudius looked even remotely similar? Did anyone ever see a performance where they had any sort of family resemblance whatsoever?
If so please let me know
(I just gotta say, when I was typing “reason” autocorrect changed it to “treason”, and I think that’s very appropriate considering the subject matter)
So. I guess I’ve always subconsciously had this headcannon/ believed this headcannon to be true, but it just occurred to me that it’s very much a headcannon and not textually true. So let’s dive into this.
HEADCANNON STARTS HERE:
So. In the opening scene of King Lear, Gloucester is introducing Edmund to Kent. There’s something that always bothered me about this scene- If Gloucester so obviously likes Edgar more than Edmund, why would he not only not bring Edgar along, but bring Edmund, of all people? It doesn’t make much sense.
UNLESS. And hear me out. [ Ignore that one line that says Edmund was gone for 7 years. Ok. You don’t know how gone he was*. So just for a second forget about this so I can move on with the headcannon.]
OK. So we know. We see very clearly. That between the two, Edgar clearly isn’t the smart one. Edgar clearly isn’t the one who would do best meeting with random nobility, as we see when Regan visits Gloucester and says something like “ew wasn’t that the guy who hung out with my dad’s knights?”. Edmund, on the other hand, can easily hold a conversation with anyone. Edmund is the charismatic one. So if Gloucester would have to choose one to bring with him to represent the Gloucester family, he’d make the decision that would be the most beneficial to him, rather than the decision he’s happiest with. He’d bring Edmund.
That’s part of the reason for why he feels the need to 1- introduce him as “my bastard kid” 2-and mention that he has an older legitimate brother. That way anyone meeting him would get the idea “if the younger illegitimate son is *this* pleasant to talk to, imagine how cool and talented the*older, legitimate* son is!”.
Gloucester introduces Edmund the way that he does not because he just feels like it, or can’t think of anything better to say. He introduces him like that to make his family look better. Because yes, sometimes insulting your kid could indirectly cause people to believe that your family is better and more talented than it is.
And obviously Edmund is no idiot. He knows Gloucester’s intentions. Not very good ones, in his (and my) opinion. Honestly, he’d rather Gloucester act like that out of stupidity, or a lack of understanding for social situations. He’d even except Gloucester treating him like that out of pure hatred. But he doesn’t even get that much. All he is is a way to advance the family’s image to the public. And it seems like it worked perfectly fine, considering everyone’s opinions on the Earl of Gloucester pre-play
(PLEASE read this It would literally mean so much to me I know it’s long)
OK SO
The Lear Family. It’s a mess. But for how long was it so messy? As I mentioned in my Edmund theory, you can learn a lot about a character from other characters’ reactions (or lack there of) to what they do. Which is gonna be what this whole theory is based around.
In the opening scene of Lear, Lear divides up his kingdom among his three daughters. Or tries to, at least. Because while Goneril and Regan were kissing up to him and playing his game, Cordelia didn’t think that was the most functional way to figure out such important matters, and refuses to participate. Lear, who prior to this claimed that Cordelia was his favorite child, does a complete 180 and banishes her from the kingdom.
As I said, we learn a lot by looking at people’s reactions. Kent, upon hearing this, is shocked and appalled. Goneril and Regan, however, are completely unfazed. G and R [this time meaning Goneril and Regan, not Guildenstern and Rosencrantz], who have lived with and dealt with Lear longer and more frequently than Kent, view the situation as “just another day in the Lear household”. Which of course leads me to believe that Lear does things like this often. He changes his entire opinion of people in milliseconds, based off of minor and irrelevant things. G and R know this, and have probably not had the best childhood as a result of it. They both seem to think the same way in regard to how to deal with it- go along with whatever Lear wants while you’re in front of him, but as soon as he’s not there you’re free to be yourself. Their original agreement to participate in Lear’s praise game wasn’t in and of itself malicious, but rather it was appeasement. A decent strategy for dealing with someone like Lear.
And then, what about Cordelia? Why didn’t she agree to go along with it? You can say that it’s because of what type of person she is: ie someone who’d rather express her feelings genuinely than express them for the purpose of receiving compensation of some sort. But I’d argue otherwise. Considering how surprised she is by Lear’s extreme reaction to her refusal, it would seem to be that she just hasn’t dealt with this before. She happened to be lucky- she was never in a situation before where she disagreed with Lear or did anything out of line, so she never saw this side of Lear before. Or if she did, it was directed towards someone else, and she assumed it was justified. (This is most likely why Lear said she’s his favorite prior to the praise game). If given enough experience with this side of Lear, there is a chance that she may have chosen G and R’s strategy rather than the one she tried using.
In conclusion, Cordelia isn’t necessarily innocent or “the nice one”, she’s just inexperienced with Lear’s bad side, and may have joined G and R’s team if she would have known.
Me: I can draw
Me to me, 2 seconds later
…
Anyway. Enjoy an Edmund of Gloucester, with clothing that’s most certainly for the wrong time period
And please. I beg of you. Ignore that hand of his.
*is in the hamlet tag*
*sees a bunch of posts referencing how cold Denmark is*
*googles how cold Denmark actually is anyway*
*wait*
*googles how cold my state is*
*the graphs are nearly identical, with Denmark being 1 to 5 degrees colder sometimes, and my state being 1 to 5 degrees colder other times*
How much I love Banquo: 6/10
How much I love Banquo if his ghost is actually him and not just Macbeth’s hallucination: 11/10
Because. Just the thought of him getting killed and then consciously making the decision to go to his ex-friends dinner party and just. Stand there.
That’s pretty funny.
ya know Edgar and Edmund must have gotten their acting gene from their mothers, because Gloucester can’t act for the life of him.
Ok let’s go through their similarities-
-dead parent
-living parent remarries too quickly
-can see and talk to ghosts
-conversation with ghost/spirit thing leads to very bad decisions being made
Step 1- want revenge
Step 2- start working on your revenge
Step 3- forge a letter from your relative than might lead to some people getting killed
Step 4- hell yeah! You got your revenge!
Step 5- get killed
Circle of Life- That part at the beginning where Claudius tells Hamlet to chill out because that vast majority of all fathers are dead
I Just Can’t Wait to be King- Claudius pre-play, and Fortinbras post-play
Be Prepared- what Claudius tells Laertes when plotting Hamlet’s death
Hakuna Matata- Everyone telling Hamlet to chill out in Act 1 Scene 2
Can You Feel the Love Tonight- Polonius trying to convince Claudius and Gertrude that Hamlet’s not mad, he’s just in love with Ophelia
OK so Hamlet takes place sometime in the 1100s, and we know canonly that Horatio/ horatio’s family were either middle class, lower middle class, or lower class. We also know that Horatio knows Hamlet from university. BUT WAIT I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
If Horatio was lower class, how did he afford university, especially in the 1100s (Im pretty sure the class divide was pretty big then? Idk).
How did Horatio end up going to the same university as THE PRINCE OF DENMARK??
Here are my possible answers, please please help me figure this out:
1- Horatio’s REALLY smart and got in on some scholarship
2- Horatio somehow met and became friends with Hamlet pre- university, and he got in because Hamlet was like “look, you’re smart, you’re my friend, I don’t care that you can’t afford university, I’m paying for you and you’re coming with me”
3-Horatio actually IS upper class, but compared to Hamlet, the literal PRINCE of Denmark, he’s not.
4- Hamlet went to a regular/ not fancy upper class university for some reason (probably to get away from all the politics and obnoxious people that would probably be found in upper class universities)
THAT’S IT THOSE ARE THE THEORIES. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHICH ONES SOUND THE MOST LEGIT.
UPDATE: gonna tag the hamlet experts of tumblr because I need some experts’ opinions: @princesshamlet @affectionate-tenders @stripedroseandsketchpads @binary-bird
(Can I just say. This was saved in drafts for WEEKS and I completely forgot that I never posted it)
The question is.. what color is everyone playing as?
AND HERE IS THE ANSWER-
Black- Hamlet- no explanation needed
White- Hamlet Sr.- ghosts are normally depicted as white so..
Dark Blue- Claudius- See @horationalize’s addition to the AU
Cyan- Polonius- Also see @horationalize’s addition
Lime- Ophelia- everyone associates her with the plant scene, nature is green
Red- Laertes- he spends most of the play being angry
Brown- Horatio- brown seems like a sensible color, Horatio seems like a sensible guy
Dark green- Rosencrantz- See orange’s reason
Orange- Guildenstern- I feel like this color combo suits them
Pink- Gertrude- seems like her type
Purple- Fortinbras- it’s a regal color
Yellow- Osric- because there’s no one else left