one of my friends made a joke and I turned it into a thing- enjoy.


Hamlet: Ok so let’s play this game I just made. Basically someone killed the king, and you have to figure out, by process of elimination, who did it with what weapon where.
*10 minutes into the game*
Gertrude: Hmm… was it Ophelia, in the library, with a dagger?
Hamlet: well I don’t know mom, it’s not like I rigged this or anything. Why don’t you check?
Gertrude, checking the card: oh great, I was wrong. It was Claudius, with poison, in the garden.
*Claudius flips the table and storms out*
Hamlet: Ok so let’s play this game I just made. Basically someone killed the king, and you have to figure out, by process of elimination, who did it with what weapon where.
*10 minutes into the game*
Gertrude: Hmm… was it Ophelia, in the library, with a dagger?
Hamlet: well I don’t know mom, it’s not like I rigged this or anything. Why don’t you check?
Gertrude, checking the card: oh great, I was wrong. It was Claudius, with poison, in the garden.
*Claudius flips the table and storms out*

Hamlet: So you’re probably wondering why I called you all here today. It’s because one of you killed dad and I’m going to figure out who.
Claudius: How do I know you didn’t kill him?
Hamlet: I couldn’t have killed him- I was in England when he died.
Claudius: hmmm… I still think you killed him. You have a motive- you’d inherit the throne. At least you thought you would, before I married your mother.
Hamlet: I was thousands of miles away.
-cuts to Hamlet interrogating each person separately and discovering that they all have legit motives. For totally non sketchy reasons, Claudius never shows up to his interrogation-
Hamlet: So, where were you when my father died.
Gertrude: I was, you know…. somewhere. Hamlet, do we really have to do this? We’re at my wedding- you’re ruining my wedding.
Hamlet: You wouldn’t even be having a wedding if dad was still alive!
*Gertrude walks away to go eat some wedding cake*
Hamlet: ok… next up we have Laertes.
*camera cuts to Laertes is talking to Ophelia nearby. “Don’t you dare date Hamlet- it won’t end well” he says*
Hamlet: So he doesn’t think dating me will end well, huh. Could that be because he killed my father, and is planning on killing me next?
-due to laziness I will be ending this here-