2022-02-02 4:33:05 ¶ ● ⬈

grahamfolgersdeliciousnotebooks:

> (CW: panic attack)

> It was loud, on the train. That wasn’t true, exactly - they had boarded the train just after midnight, and the hush of early morning had settled over the carriage soon after. The only noise was the rumble of the wheels, the rush of Jon’s breath (slow and even, as he’d fallen asleep not long after they boarded), and the faint, tinny sound of music spilling from another passenger’s headphones. It was, by all reasonable accounts, not a loud train carriage. But it was still too much.

> Everything was too much. Martin hadn’t realized how much the Lonely had muted everything - muffled sounds, dulled colours, kept emotions always at an arm’s length, to be observed but not truly felt - until it had been ripped away from him. He felt like one giant exposed nerve. Simply existing in the same space as other people was almost unbearable.

> And Jon’s hand was still wrapped around his, and that was worse. All of the painful, tangled emotions that the Lonely had provided an escape from were connected, in some way, to Jon. He had loved Jon. He knew that. He had waited years for Jon to give some sign that he cared (though, in all his romantic fantasies, the gesture had been considerably smaller) and the time would come eventually when Martin would be very glad he finally had.

> Martin had to remind himself that that time would come. He wouldn’t feel this way forever. He couldn’t.

> For now, though, his feelings towards Jon were… complicated. The memories of his past feelings for Jon were mingling with his present knowledge that Jon cared. If what he’d Seen in the Lonely was accurate, Jon cared very deeply. Jon had rescued him, had torn him away from that lovely, awful, peaceful nothing, and Martin loved him and hated him for that in equal measure.

> Jon shifted in his sleep, and Martin softened. He couldn’t hate Jon; not really. He looked so small, curled in his seat with his coat hanging loose around his shoulders. The dark circles under his eyes had deepened, and he looked, somehow, thinner and more gaunt than Martin had ever seen him. Still, the gentle rise and fall of his chest was a reassurance, a refreshing change from the last time Martin had spent this much time with Jon.

> Martin pushed aside those memories. He couldn’t think about how he’d felt back then, and he couldn’t think about how he felt right now, so he turned away from Jon to look out the window, at the dark landscape rushing past, and tried very hard to think about nothing at all.

> Keep reading

2022-02-08 2:59:59 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

chekhovs-marbles:

> I love season 2 Jon like “I’ve been stalking my coworkers and accusing them of murder and now they’re avoiding me?? They’re obviously murderers” honey no

2022-02-11 3:58:51 ¶ ●

I am rotating Jonathan Sims (Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London) in my head at all times

2022-02-11 19:07:44 ¶ ●

I love the wiki page for MAG 34 because half the comments are people getting into the lore and debating which Entity the episode is associated with, going, like, “I understand the impulse to assign them to The Flesh based on the emphasis on viscera, but the horror underpinning the anatomy students comes from their otherness - the fact that they appear human and the slow realization that they are decidedly not - and that puts them firmly in line with The Stranger.”
And the other half are people going, “My sweet children! They never did anything wrong! They just wanted to learn about the insides :)”

2022-02-14 17:14:40 ¶ ●

I was just thinking about MAG 158 and it occurred to me - was Elias being physically present for that necessary for his plan, even a little bit? Or did that bitch just break out of prison for The Drama?

2022-02-20 11:08:31 ¶ ●

Lying in bed at 4 in the morning thinking about all the things Jon and Martin said to tape recorders instead of each other. Thinking about “I need him to be okay. I just do.” Thinking about “Just don’t die, Jon. Or Tim, or Basira, or… Daisy, I guess.” Thinking about “We worry about him… I worry.” Thinking.

2022-02-20 11:15:51 ¶ ●

Googling “Magnus Archives season 4 trailer transcript” at 3:43 AM for normal, emotionally healthy reasons.