all the other avatars slowly realizing this whole apocalypse thing isnt all it’s cracked up to be when they cant get a caramel frappe at mcdonalds bc the entire staff was killed and replaced a bunch of not!thems who dont know how to operate the machine, and now it’s starting to dawn on them that They Also Live Here
sorry i know this is a serious situation but the fact that the fucking lovecraftian apocalypse podcast had to slap a disclaimer on their new trailer like “sorry the world went to hell while we were on hiatus we didnt mean to echo whats going on irl” is just. so fuckin surreal.
every new ep of season 5 so far makes me feel like a caveman who has just discovered the invention of love and is awed by it every week like it’s the first time
a magnus archives themed google pixel background commission for someone on twitter! i had a great time drawing all of those eyes with petscop on in the background
elias goes to bed at 7:30 pm on the dot and wakes up at 7:30 am on the dot every single day, he eats plain bagels with nothing on them
served to him by a barista at rich people starbucks as well as coffee with a smear of marmite in it, he goes to work where he stares at a wall eavesdropping in on the archives until 4:00 pm where he goes home at eats dinner at 5:00 (a plain head of broccoli, not cooked)
and then immediately gets ready for bed at 5:15 where he stays with his eyes open on his back until his alarm sounds for 7:30 and he immediately falls into a deep dreamless sleep
Peter “I Can Only Socialize Through Bets” Lukas does not have a flirty romance with Elias Bouchard. He walks right up to the Magnus Institute’s fundraising gala, takes one look at Elias Bouchard, and makes a hefty donation before downing his drink and taking Elias to bed.
Peter Lukas is under the impression institute fundraising is just prostitution with extra steps.
This goes on for years. When this misunderstand comes to light it is the cause of their first divorce.
Elias is so hilarious to me as a villain, just on a surface level. He doesn’t need to be that sinister. Like, his whole game was just biding his time and manipulating things behind the scenes and waiting for his Moment to arrive.
But he just can’t help himself. He has to make stupid eye puns that absolutely nobody but him is going to get. He could have just crashed Jon’s birthday party like a normal boss, but no. I’m going to ask for cake and I’m going to be evil about it. I’m going to use my spooky powers to see what you birthday wish was and then tell everyone. What the hell, man.
You’re an Institute employee being called into a meeting with mr Elias Bouchard to discuss your job performance only to listen to this ugly 60 year old man talk about how much he hates gay people and you’re just like uh huh that’s super cool mr bouchard and not at all Something I’m going to report to HR and he doesn’t stop and you keep trying to end it so you can maybe escape whatever hell you’ve found yourself in and then suddenly the phone rings and he’s like oh hold on one moment it’s my husband. What do you do.
BODY: Hello Peter it is Elias your husband. I made dinner tonight please come home it is not two fresh eggs sitting on dinner plates like last time . I cooked them . Left the shell on for texture . I’m bored and I can’t See you which you know bothers me . Please reply post-haste . Elias . Eye emoji . Okay siri you can stop now Siri i said stop . Stop . No more voice . End voice . Stop listening. End Message . End message . End message .
jonah magnus: —and it’s weird; she said it was because the desolation killed her cat which seems like… huh… am i supposed to believe she cared about her pet that much?? was she serious? was that supposed to be a joke??? i will never understand that woman honestly—
the eye: wait hold on what did she say it did?
jonah: killed her cat. i understand people love their pets but you’re telling me that inspired that much passion? that much action? all for a single animal that would die much before her anyway. and she never even seemed particularly angry at the desolation. in fact she seemed closer to it than to any of the other fears—
the eye: no what were her exact words
jonah: i believe she said that an incarnation of the lightless flame “destroyed her p
