March 2023

Archivist damage tally:

a-mag-a-day:

You forget one:

ryuuna:

cactus beatdowns are definitely the answer to ppl making her sister do unnecessary labor

dathen:

averysaurus:

edenvyz:

YOU BROUGHT ME BACK. THAT WAS… UNMOTIVATED BY ANYTHING ELSE, OTHER THAN… LOVE.

for a guy who said they’re just friends he is feeding us so well lmao

But he’s never said they’re “just” friends! He said their love isn’t romantic, but that doesn’t mean their love isn’t meaningful. That’s the heart of the whole show. It works especially well with an aro interpretation of Arthur—his love can change a god, and without romantic love he can still represent the ups and downs of humanity against the cosmos.

But it all boils down to how Arthur can so easily and confidently say that he knows John loves him, and John replying that Arthur is his dear friend as agreement rather than contradiction.

restlesshush:

Do you know what the person you reblogged this from’s url is a reference to?

Yes, because I followed them for that thing

Yes, even though I didn’t follow them for that thing

Yes (other)

I’m not sure

No, no idea

See Results

I was thinking about this and got curious

mr-tll:

mimir

dathen:

sqwigeon:

little part 30 doodle! moments before disaster :)

[ID:  Arthur lester lying on a bed with his head turned to one side, eyes closed and smiling peacefully.  His arms are crossed over his chest.  A black speech bubble says, “Goodnight Arthur,” and a white one replies, “Goodnight John.” /end ID]

cobalt-knave:

Michael: I’ve got an ace up my sleeve.

*a yellow door appears and creaks open*

*Jon falls out, dazed and confused*

Who is your favorite version of the Distortion?

Michael

Helen

I like them both equally

What? (See results)

See Results

cutetanuki-chan:

babies

orderforbrian:

orderforbrian:

upton house, lets get sillayyyy

i think you will all be pleased to find there is more :)

anchor-naut:

A little bit more admiral love from my previous sketches,

I’ve been slammed with work but I am really excited to do some sketches from the asks I’ve received <3

bananonbinary:

bananonbinary:

bananonbinary:

bananonbinary:

concept: 8 year old jonathan sims finds a book containing not Mr Spider, but John Doe malevolent instead.

john now has to learn humanity not from a caustic adult that can give as good as he’s given, but by bullying an autistic child to PLEASE stop wandering into construction sites and shit im in your body too holy shit we’re going to get killed

(it still starts with John killing Jon’s bully, but thankfully no one would ever believe the 8 year old killed a grown ass adult, so they chalk it up to ‘something traumatic happened here that jon doesnt want to remember’)

i imagine John’s character growth would be like:

  1. “god shut up you little fuck i hate you”
  2. *baby jon tears*
  3. “oh fuck time to bring out the Soothing Voice instead”
  4. *baby jon is bullied and neglected*
  5. “oh FUCK this body i’m in is. so fucking fragile. he’s crying again. what the fuck. is this mortality???”
  6. *baby jon voice* “hi this is my other dad he’s a huge fucking asshole but he taught me swears and says anyone who’s mean to me will meet a horrible fate eventually. I told him that wasn’t very nice tho.”

28 years in the future, still trying to find out what John is (which was sorta backburnered while jon was a child), Jonathan Sims applies to the magnus institute. Elias takes one look in his head and has a panic attack.

this could actually go two ways:

1) jonah sees an eldrich fucking god squatting there who is VERY protective, or

2) jonah can’t look at all because jon is blind and unwittingly hires him anyway with NO FUCKING IDEA that jon is far closer to anything that could be considered an “avatar” than anyone in jonah’s world

yescking:

besties

marinella-ela:

tzikeh:

Which TV series’ finale….

Which TV series’ finale retroactively ruined the entire show so badly that, while you otherwise would happily recommended the series to people who haven’t watched it yet, because of what happened *in the finale only*, you can’t, in good faith, recommend the series to anyone now? (Please note I am not including Game of Thrones in this poll because duh)

How I Met Your Mother

Killing Eve

St. Elsewhere

Battlestar Galactica (2004-2009)

White Collar

Quantum Leap (1989-1993)

Lost

Lois & Clark

Dexter (2006-2013)

Another show I’ll put in tags but NOT GAME OF THRONES it was excluded ON PURPOSE

See Results

Please do reblog - I look forward to the tags because I’m sure I’ve missed many ruined shows just by not watching them

annabelle–cane:

lightless-flame-official:

annabelle–cane:

annabelle–cane:

annabelle–cane:

okay it’s very simple. jane prentiss was coworkers with oliver banks. oliver was also exes with graham the notebook eater. oliver was also friendly with annabelle. annabelle had a whole puppet/puppet master thing going on with neil lagorio. neil was exes with gabriel the worker in clay. neil never worked on that dexter banks (no relation)(…unless?) spider movie, but he had been rumored to. gertrude killed gabriel, and she herself was involved in that whole agnes/jack/jude fiasco, and jude was casual friends with nikola orsinov and mike crew. mike crew was childhood friends with dominic swain from mag 4, and also he facilitated jared hopworth getting his hands on the boneturner’s tale. it’s not confusing at all when you think about it.

also, sarah baldwin was one of nikola orsinov’s main associates. sarah was a sound tech on the paranormal investigation scene that georgie worked with and whom georgie then recommended to melanie (why did she recommend someone who was so obviously a monster? who knows), starting melanie’s whole descent into madness and exile from the youtube ghost hunting community. georgie is also exes with this guy you might have heard of called jon archivist.

when jane prentiss died, jordan kennedy was sent to deal with her house, and then her former landlord arthur nolan (desolation avatar) self-immolated in front of him. jordan also set fire to john amherst (corruption avatar) at one point. arthur nolan was stuck being jane’s landlord because he’d been deposed from his position as head of the cult of the lightless flame by diego molina. basira was called in to arrest diego once, and he burned her hands quite badly by making his handcuffs suddenly red hot. he was eventually killed by gerry keay a few years before gerry went on to work with gertude. gertrude was a friend of adelard dekker, the guy who eventually went on to kill john amherst.

also (associate of sarah baldwin, ghost bullet slaughter rage victim, employee of the magnus institute with a very complicated relationship to The Archivist) melanie king’s father was a resident of ivy meadows care home, which was overtaken by the corruption and eventually burned down by hunt avatars trevor herbert and julia montauk. julia montauk’s father, robert montauk, was a member of the people’s church of the divine host and a personal associate of, among others, maxwell rayner. maxwell rainer was a friend and associate of eye avatar and founder of the magnus institute jonah magnus, and vast avatar simon fairchild, as well as a longtime friend of the lucas family (oxymoron).

no, yeah, no aspect of this is confusing.

“georgie recommended sarah baldwin because she knew her pre-anglerfishing” clamor people in the notes. sarah got anglerfished in 2006, and georgie wasn’t making what the ghost until she was out of university. georgie worked with this heavily perfumed chain smoking sawdust woman and thought “eh she’s a bit weird but she does her job.”

m0oreel:

universe where … they are somewhat nice to each other please :,(

m0oreel:

i swear me drawing michael differently each time is a side effect of the spiral and not me being indecisive

bananonbinary:

funniest fandom trend: if the not-them replaces jon, he spells it john

What should they have done in MAG 200

Annabelle’s plan (release the fears)

Jon’s plan (contain the fears)

Nothing (contain the fears)

Something else that wasn’t suggested (put in tags)

I have no idea what’s going on (see results)

See Results

annabelle–cane:

tma fic writers it is our duty to give jon more grandmacore curse words, we can’t stop at “good lord.” this man says goodness gracious. blimey. blast it. drat. oh deary me if he’s particularly blind sided.

muffincupv:

Statement Begins

actualselkie:

whenever I come across a poll where I dont have an opinion (dont know anything about either option) I just vote whatever my mutuals tags tell me to. whatever you say baby girl <3

azeler:

redstonedust:

writers wishing they could draw whats in their head
🤝
artists wishing they could write whats in their head

🤝

writers wishing they could write what’s in their head

🤝

artists wishing they could draw what’s in their head

stonefruitz:

stonefruitz:

fics that make sasha calm and level headed and have her minding her own business and chilling drive me insane. this bitch cyberstalked her coworkers in her free time and almost got Wormed because she was curious to see what would happen if she followed a supernatural entity to an abandoned building in the middle of the night. she’s the most unchill assistant and i will die on this hill

jon as the archivist says “it’s like there’s a door in my brain and the entire ocean is behind it and if i open it i’ll drown.”

sasha as the archivist says “oh, a new door in my brain? cool! can’t wait to find out what’s behind it!” and Yanks it open just to see what happens

What was the first Pokémon generation you played?

Gen I (Kanto [(Fire)Red, (Leaf)Green, Blue, Yellow])

Gen II (Johto [(Soul)Silver, (Heart)Gold, Crystal])

Gen III (Hoenn [(Omega)Ruby, (Alpha)Sapphire, Emerald])

Gen IV (Sinnoh [(Brilliant)Diamond, (Shining)Pearl, Platinum])

Gen V (Unova [Black(2), White(2)])

Gen VI (Kalos [X, Y])

Gen VII (Alola [(Ultra)Sun, (Ultra)Moon])

Gen VIII (Galar [Sword, Shield])

Gen IX (Paldea [Scarlet, Violet])

Other(put in tags), didn’t play(see results)

See Results

Other just refers to Pokémon Mystery Dungeon or Pokémon Ranger or something like that.

toothwormfactory:

[ID: A two panel digital comic of Jude Perry and Jonathan Sims from The Magnus Archives. Jon’s speech bubbles are green and Jude’s are orange.

In the first panel, Jonathan Sims asks a smugly laughing Jude Perry: “Something funny, Ms. Perry?”. Jude replies: “Uh, yeah.” Jon asks: “Care to share?”, and Jude responds: “I think it’s pretty obvious.”

In the second panel, Jon is wearing a bright, holographic puffer coat with several patches on it, including three cat patches, a What the Ghost patch, a Ghost Hunt UK patch, a Welcome to Nightvale patch, a The B-52s patch, a Grifter’s Bone patch, and a one with the bisexual flag. He has an irritated expression on his face and his hair is tied back into a ponytail. He says: “Look, I lost my normal coat, and i-it’s cold. Some of us actually feel it, you know?” /End ID.]

Jon “Soggy Academic Wardrobe” Sims vs Georgie “One Million Articles of Clothing with Cats on Them” Barker

Bonus:

[ID: A digital sketch of Jonathan Sims and Georgie Barker from The Magnus Archives done with blue lines. Jon is showing Georgie his bandaged hand and Georgie is concernedly looking at it. Jon says: “…So I found her and the first thing she did was laugh at your coat.” Georgie responds with a frowning emoticon. Jon continues: “Don’t worry about the hand or the neck.” /End ID]

physical-manifestation-of-spite:

8-year-old Jon, weeks after the Mr. Spider incident. Reading a bunch of kid!Jon fics has utterly delighted me.

So I was just thinking about The Magnus Archive, cause it has consumed my every waking thought, and you know in MAG 181 when Salesa is teasing Jon and he says:

“Your powers won’t work here, Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.”

Yeah well, it made me wonder how he would even know Jon said this, but then I realized he’s been roommates with Annabelle Cane for at least a couple month (I assume anyway.)

Anyway what I’m saying is, even though it’s a very funny meta joke it’s also a hint that the tapes were Web the whole time.

ahlooph:

Listening to that swing~

I like rhythm games and I love Kingdom Hearts. Combine the two and I’m done for.

suburbancockroach:

Reblog to hit Jurgen Leitner with a pipe

burninginthegymplplinko:

[ID by @princess-of-purple-prose: A TMA comic of Jon approaching Floyd Matharu on a boat. Jon is a thin brown man drawn in a cartoony style with huge eyes and a determined expression. He’s approaching a sweating Floyd, who’s a thin white man wearing a parka. ALT
The view changes to show the deck of a ship titled “Hungry jarchivist PoV:” and has an excerpt of Floyd’s statement cropped from the transcripts rotating below it. ALT
The last panel shows Jon with shiny eyes against a black background with the rotating excerpt in Floyd’s place. /end ID]

ALT

MAG 141 - Doomed Voyage

doodle 141/200; days left - 10/110 8/128

you know how in old cartoons, when a character is hungry, the ppl around them start turning into meat?? that but with the statement hunger.

oh yeah BTW!?! i had to learn a bit of 3D for this stupid joke ajxhkd. ((and then i’m surprised i’m falling behind on scheduled doodles xD))

more blorbo under the cut bc uuuh the more versions the merrier questionmark?

Keep reading

fidothefinch:

which of these jobs did you tell adults you wanted “when you grow up”?

doctor/veterinarian (healer)

astronaut/scientist (explorer)

president (leader)

educator (teacher)

professional sports/theater (entertainer)

firefighter/police/military (rescuer)

plumber/electrician/mechanic/IT (fixer)

lawyer (defender)

other (answer in tags)

See Results

happybunnykat:

People who don’t play Kingdom Hearts! Which one of these doesn’t actually happen in the series?

The main character kills himself on screen

A character beats the shit out of an ordinary house cat

Goofy dies

A man clones a guy just ‘cause he’s there

For one game people can “smell” darkness and it is never mentioned again

A major game mechanic once was befriending dead kids who are now cute animals

It is implied the main characters parents died during the first game

The conflict is once temporarily solved by throwing a character through a door

A character can wield pizza as a weapon

These are all real actually! You can’t fool me!

See Results

And if you do play kh please rb and see what your non-kh followers think-

yourlocalgaysian:

Who’s the hottest token POC in those celebrity Buzzfeed quizzes (female version)

Zendaya

Jameela Jamil

Janelle Monae

Lupita N’yongo

Gemma Chan

Zoe Saldana

Tessa Thompson

Rihanna

Beyoncé

Zoë Kravitz

See Results

lilacandladybugs:

lilacandladybugs:

my friend told me that her boyfriend got her a super cool rock while they were on vacation together and you would not BELIEVE my disappointment when i realized she was talking about her engagement ring

*holds your head in my hands* im sorry i let you down

undead-in-space:

Going through my old notebooks and I just have to say: shoutout to 13 y/o me for being an absolute comedic genius

yourlocalgaysian:

Who’s the hottest token POC in those celebrity buzzfeed quizzes (male version)

Michael B. Jordan

Pedro Pascal

Jason Mamoa

Diego Luna

Oscar Isaac

Simu Liu

Riz Ahmed

Manny Jacinto

Idris Elba

John Boyega

See Results

jeremyheereismyson:

uni student jon who’s The Favorite of the street cats near his uni !! <3 when the cats see him, they rub themselves along his legs and meow for attention !!!

jon gives cat food and human food that’s safe for cats with water, and just watch them with a lil smile on his face :((

jon definitely named the cats and the cats would respond! he’d have silly lil convos with em :DD

jon: hanni, what did i say about picking fights with the others?

hanni: meow

jon: don’t use that tone with me, young lady.

hanni: meow

jon: >:00

heatandapathy:

Has a videogame ever made you cry?

No

No but I’ve come pretty close

;_; (name the game/s in the tags)

See Results

toanshirotaka:

dingdongyouarewrong:

americans are always saying shit like garbage disposal and i-95

Those are good names for a pair of orange cats

neriumdelusion:

Does anyone ever think about how it was Michael’s humanity that got him killed both times

Was Gertrude justified in her actions?

Yes, absolutely

No, never

She thought it was necessary, so yes

She thought it was necessary, but that’s not an excuse

She was being manipulated just as much as Jon, so it wasn’t really her choice

She was being manipulated just as much as Jon, but it was still her choice

What is going on? (See results)

See Results

the-magpie-archives:

People will really say “Jonathan Sims is a good guy!” or “Jonathan Sims is a bad person!” as if a prominent message of his character arc wasn’t that no matter who you are, what you do, or how you behave your actions can cause harm or good without intention, and baselessly assigning morals to people who aren’t deliberately causing harm is pointless because our view of them is more about how they affect us than how they actually are.

For better or worse, everyone is just a person. We’re all both not at fault and entirely to blame.

mxwhore:

woke up sad for some reason so i painted the Admiral anxiously waiting for jon in s3

spiralstain:

Them

(Click for better quality)

vampireopossum:

vampireopossum:

BEFORE VOTING, reblog and tag what you think is WINNING. THEN, vote for what you think is LOSING.

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

See Results

i don’t know what i’m trying to see here but it’s certainly something

y’all know this doesn’t work if you don’t reblog it right

sic-semper-hominibus:

fnlrpa:

Just a meme I cooked up in 5 minutes

roach-works:

comicaurora:

headspace-hotel:

kurozu501:

truestoriesaboutme:

I need people to stop blaming the death of movies on “quips”. A quip is just a funny line of dialogue. That’s all. Like I just saw a post talking about quips and the death of movies and brought up Pirates of the Caribbean as an example of a better movie and yes it is but also that movie is FULL OF QUIPS. I just rewatched The Princess Bride. It’s all quips. Every single line. And it’s a masterpiece.

Movies suck when people don’t care about the art they’re making. That includes them not caring about their quips. Which is why a lot of comic relief dialogue ALSO sucks now. But the problem isn’t that funny dialogue exists.

#it’s not the quips it’s the complete and utter fear of showing any kind of sincerity#honestly it’s almost the equivalent of saying ‘no homo’ after a moment of being genuine

The Princess Bride is almost all quips, but it’s all sincerity. Every aspect of the plot is ridiculous and yet no movie dialogue has ever gone as hard as “I want my father back, you son of a bitch”

people recognize the problem contained within Whedon-style quippyness without knowing the term for the actual issue so they say “quips” when they mean “bathos”

another problem with quips that’s a little harder to analyze and explain is the quips are all in the author’s voice, NOT the characters’.

steve rogers, natalia romanoff, james barnes, tony stark, pepper potts, and bruce banner are people from radically different walks of life, and should therefore have extremely different styles of communication, despite all off them nominally speaking the same language (english). they should have different senses of humor, different senses of where the boundary lies between irreverence and insult, different boundaries, different sore spots, different goals as well as different methods of communication.

the fact that all these characters banter the exact same way, i.e how joss whedon thinks is funny, is incredibly shallow and grating.

steve grew up as a challenging little shit, who was also very small and poor, and he did it in 1920′s-30′s brooklyn new york. he regularly got his ass kicked. tony stark is also challenging and provocative, he’s a shit stirrer, but he grew up rich as all fuck. no one was beating the piss out of him in a dirty alley. tony has grown up surrounded by sycophants, rich enough to get away with whatever amount of bad behavior he wants to pull; steve grew up poor and disabled in a society that openly advocated for the death and degradation of the weak and unfit. why the fuck would they enter a conversation the same way? why would they deliver a snappy retort the same way? natasha romanoff is a spy, she’s manipulative, she’s always watching to see how a joke lands, she’s always conscientiously tuning herself this way and that to get results. she doesn’t have the luxury of casual defiance, or unthinking obnoxiousness, or even standing by her principles and pissing off someone she hates. again, why would she be tossing off little asides the same as tony, or even the same as steve?

the princess bride is sincere, and the characters still banter in their own voices. fezzik is cautious and methodical, inigo is weary and incredulous, vizzini is desperate to impress everyone with his own intelligence and in so doing often sounds like a complete twerp, buttercup is so incredibly pissed off she doesn’t have any brain cells to spare for joking around, and westley is here to ruin everyone’s day. and it works! the characters have great banter because they’re striking sparks off each other, not meshing like identical cogs in a machine.

humor is about subverting expectations, about breaking up patterns, about confrontation and absurdity. you can’t get that from a blandly uniform pulp.

pillow-boi:

wangxian academy days [part 1/?]