I just came up with something fucking hilarious please keep reading
what if the magnus institute had spirit week???
a single week where the dress code doesn’t apply (as if it applies to the archival staff anyway) to everyone in the institute. a single week of absolute chaos.
(idk if england even has spirit week but we have it here in america so)
the first day of spirit week is pajama day. Jon comes in with just an old band t shirt because he really hates spirit week and will only slightly participate to keep Tim from harassing him all day. Tim is wearing a full panda onesie. Daisy and Basira have matching slippers. Melanie has a bunch of ghost hunt uk merch on. Martin has normal pajamas. no one expects Elias to participate but then their boss waltzes into work wearing a onesie covered in eyes and slippers with little ships on them, and Tim is affronted.
“Tim,” Jon says tiredly, “please don’t turn this into a competition.”
Tim is, in fact, turning it into a competition.
the next day is 80s fashion, which means Tim comes in wearing ray bans and a fanny pack and a jean jacket and is confident he’s won this round, when Elias comes in wearing shit like this:
and Tim almost loses it. almost.
everyone else realizes it’s funnier to watch the ensuing drama than actually try to dress up for spirit week themselves. Jon, relieved that the pressure is off of him, returns to his sweater vests.
wednesday’s theme is colorful. Tim wears a shirt covered in rainbows, some weird baggy pants that are a painful neon green and printed with vibrant palm trees, rainbow socks, and white shoes that he splatters with violent pink and yellow paint. he’s sitting at his desk, smug as hell, and everyone is actually doubting Elias’ ability to match Tim, until Martin runs into the archives and says, shaken, “Elias is here.”
Tim’s jaw falls open.
Elias’ hair is dyed bright blue. scattered on every patch of visible skin are painted green eyes. his suit is so pink it hurts to look at. his tie is covered in purple and orange stripes that clash horrifically. his dark blue pants are absolutely covered in glow-in-the-dark spiral patterns. his shoes glow and pulse with rainbow lights as he walks. and to top everything off, he has a full-body rainbow cape draped over his shoulders.
the archival staff can only gawk in faint terror.
“Good morning,” Elias says, then turns and walks into his office.
oh boy. ohoh. Tim cannot let this injustice stand. he will reign triumphant and Elias will fall into ruin, crushed beneath Tim’s raw fashion sense. it’s a flawless goal. Jon quietly dumps thirty sugar packets into his tea.
for thursday, the theme is twins, which requires a partner.
“No,” Jon, Basira, Martin, and Daisy say at the same time.
“Fuck yeah,” Melanie says.
Tim doesn’t think Elias even has anyone to match with, but he’s still not taking any chances. he and Melanie end up wearing clout glasses, fluffy pink boas, and matching What the Ghost merchandise.
“Who’s Elias matching with?” Tim asks at work on thursday.
Jon looks pained. “You’ll see.”
Elias struts into work hanging off of Peter Lukas’ arm, and they are identical. they’re both in full sea captain gear, with matching hats and badges and even shoe brand. they both have wedding rings on their hands. somehow, against literally everything, Elias had gotten Peter to shave his beard and style his hair to perfectly match Elias’. Tim wants to scream.
“This is my husband,” Elias says, not a flicker of emotion on his face. “Peter, won’t you say hi?”
Peter looks uncomfortable and miserable and Tim feels a sharp stab of satisfaction. then, apparently having served his purpose of antagonizing Tim, Peter hastily says goodbye and vanishes into thin air.
Tim is. very VERY close to giving up.
but it’s friday and he has one last chance. friday is meme day.
“Elias doesn’t even know what memes are,” Tim stresses, a manic note in his voice, as Martin absently nods along. “He’s an old man! He’s got no clue!”
Martin politely does not bring up the fact that Jon looks older than Elias and still knows what a meme is.
friday goes like this
Tim, on a skateboard, rolling around the institute: I don’t know what the fuck just happened, but I don’t really care, I'mma get the fuck up outta here, fuck this shit I’m out
Tim: wait what the fuck
Elias, a piece of paper with the words ‘barbecue sauce’ on it taped to his chest, smug: so I’m standing there, barbecue sauce on my titties
Tim: WHAT THE FUCK
Daisy, lifting Jon above her head effortlessly: thiS BITCH EMPTY-
Jon, screaming: I did not consent to the yeet
Melanie, filming: this is going on the official institute website
(anyway. elias used his beholding powers to know exactly how to piss tim off every single day. the eye revokes his avatarship for several weeks after this debacle and the institute no longer has a spirit week)
