2025-02-16 4:05:07 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

somuchbetterthanthat:

> I think in S4 when Jon is struggling, stumbling, wavering between monsterhood and humanity, I think he should be wandering London, at times, trying to fight off the hunger, feeling so hungry it’d be so, so easy to allow himself - who will know? Basira is away. Daisy is not hunting anymore. Melanie doesn’t care. Who will know? Is it really that bad? Doesn’t he need it, to keep everyone safe? Can’t he just– but the voice that’s guilty and terrified and angry at who he is being, like this, is still just strong enough, and he can’t go back to the Institute like this, because then SURELY the girls will realize… Yes, there will be statements, but the hunger, the hunger– he just needs somewhere else, somewhere safe, to think, just a moment–

> and before he knows it his hand shakingly grabbing the spare key of an elegant townhouse not so far from the Institute, and he’s going through the door, and the air inside is stale because the house has been unoccupied for a while, and he goes not for the kitchen not for the bedroom, but the library down the hall, the one he went exactly once, years ago, still so young, so stupid, so exhilarated, and he falls into the couch that’s there and something pokes at his side and he says “you’ve got to be kidding me -”

> but of course he’s too curious, too famished even, not to press the button of the tape recorder. And Elias’s voice, so soothing, so familiar, so steady, rolls out saying: “Hello Jon. I cannot be certain that you’ll ever think of coming here while I’m…away, but It’s always good to be prepared, isn’t it?” and Jon laughs (and maybe he’s crying a little bit, too. Maybe he’s holding the tape recorder too tight. Maybe he’s feeling the tension in his shoulders loosen, as Elias tells him an old tale of a friend and the terrifying thing that took him because he wasn’t willing to hurt others.)