2024-03-12 0:43:55 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

statementends:

> future-crab:

> > I know he’s kind of a polarizing character, but I have to say, Elias Bouchard truly is Iconic. When you hear the twist of “the boring middle manager was actually secretly an evil eldritch monster the whole time!” you sort of assume that the boring middle manager persona was just a facade, but no, he really does seem to just enjoy dull administrative work. He’s both exactly as boring as he seems on the surface and profoundly fucked up in ways you couldn’t imagine. He’s practically omniscient and playing 4-D chess with everyone, but he responds to even slight hiccups in his elaborate scheme with acts of extreme violence. He beats an old man to death with a metal pipe and when someone brings it up later he goes, “Yeah I may have overreacted there.” His employees are constantly trying to murder him. He broke out of prison just so he could give a dramatic monologue. He had a weird gay thing going on with seemingly every man he met in the past 200 years. He loves scheduling.

> He tells Jon he’ll send him a return to work form after Jon got back from being wanted for the murder Elias committed.

> And this is a minute after Jon asks if he’s still human.

> Then tells him not to worry about a doctor’s note. As if Jon at that precise moment would be worried about that.

> Most manager of all time.