but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out
“what the fuck is this”
“i have anemia”
“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”
“dude really you don’t have to just leave what the fu—”
“you disgust me here take these iron supplements”
“where did you even get th—”
“shut up and take your pills and dont forget your vitamin D”
“i’m going to check up on you weekly to make sure you’re taking them”
“that’s not necessary”
“maybe we should work on a dietary plan with foods rich in iron and other things for you”
“do you get this involved with all of your meals”
VAMPIREDUDE: did u get the cookbook i orderd 4 u
ME: Oh my god, first of all stop using text speak, you told me you were 278, second how did you know where I LIVED, third yes I got it.
VAMPIREDUDE: heard onions were good 4 blood, eat lots
ME: So you can have a tasty meal? I guess you’d rather I stay away from garlic, huh.
VAMPIREDUDE: UR being v rude I just got u a present!!!
ME: THE COOKBOOK IS CALLED “HOW TO TASTE DELICIOUS,” I AM CALLING THE COPS
I love an overprotective vampire threatening their charge/food source with the line “the sun will go down eventually!”.
Imagine your OTP
“Your last blood work said your sodium and potassium levels were a bit low…”
“STOP CALLING IT BLOOD WORK EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A NIP AT MY HANDS ON THE COUCH!”
food to lovers
[ID: a digital drawing showing the corner of a house, one side in full sunlight, the other in the shadows. In the shadows stands a vampire, all in blue because of the darkness, in the sun walks a young person with dark skin and dark, piled up curly hair. The vampire scream enraged at them, arm raised (but still in the shadows): “Go to your appointment!” Unbothered, the person keeps walking, looking down at their phone, saying: “Nah.” /end ID].
let dead dogs lie - silas denver melvin // red dog - elizabeth frink // how to be a dog - andrew kane // domestication syndrome - dhole b // no origin found // for your own good - leah horlick // pleasure - beth cavener // it will come back - hozier // i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - uhode // same poem as directly previous
I’m struck by how much Jonah loves living in spite of being driven largely by fear. He dooms the world “to ensure [his] own happiness”, he felt curiosity and not only fear when he discovered the Entities, he loves scheduling, he has a sense of humour, he likes cake… He genuinely wanted more life for its own sake and not simply because it was the alternative to dying.
JONELIAS WEEK DAY 2 I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING AROUND MY CAMPUS LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO DO MY HOMEWORK IN PEACE BUT I THINK THE PROMPT WAS UP TOO LATE!! GO TO BED BOY!! ITS LATE!!
remember when elias told jon it’d be hard to replace him then later on said he’s the beating heart of the institute and then we’ve got tim telling jon ‘this place loves you too much to let you get swapped’ that was so silly aha. oh
i actually. ok. so i think MAG 160.2 jonny says for the characters dnd classes elias would be a cleric, which makes sense. and jon would be a warlock that thinks hes a druid. also makes sense. this is that.
not a jonelias week prompt, but it was inspired by the people on the jonelias server! (hi guys!)
this is an au where (up to you why) jonah puts his eyes in jon. for me, hes either nearly or jus fully marked. jonah thinks jon died immediately, so he attempts to read out the ritual to summon the eye. however, his throat closes up when he tries to. it had to be jon. luckily, jon didnt die in the transfer. unfortunately, he has to convince jon to read it. includes body sharing, jon becoming head of the institute, other avatars thinking its simply jonah, all the fun shenanigans.
theres a few more ideas for it, but thats all ill say now!
i NEED . someone to explain the elias is a capitalist viewpoint to me. i genuinely want to understand that. not that i necessarily agree i just want to see where ppl are coming from. like i can get how jonnys explaination of tma being representative of being stuck in systems of oppression like capitalism can lead to that viewpoint but i really truly do not get the final piece thats like THIS MAN. IS CAPITALIST. righht. please im begging i want to UNDERSTANDDD
ok im trying to word my actual opinion on this without sounding unhinged. but i think im just going to have to sound unhinged because i just am. so, bullet points.
-he is at least in some way representative of some kind of exploiter (cant think of a better word) in a capitalist system. thats. yes. textual.
-i think i assumed ppl meant he was LITERALLY a capitalist
-i do genuinely believe that hes not a super posh dude, or like fabulously wealthy, at least in his personal life outside of spending money on his Evil Schemes, just because. I dont. i dont think it fits his character. thats really not important tho
-my interpretation of his character, at least in the way of Extended Metaphors For Capitalism, was that while he had the upper hand, he was still inevitably a victim of it
-but, to be fair, that can just be said of anyone. yk. ive always viewed his as someone who, while obviously wanting his vision of the future as Eye God, was still afraid of ending up in the same position as his employees? right? and was like, trying to Get Ahead
-I mean, a lot of the mans actions are, from what i can tell ( im reading his wiki, jonahs wiki, while writing this to double check my work) motivated both by the end, and by the eye’s almost manic obsession with Needing To See, right.
-i think the point im trying to make with this in connection to like, yk Extended Metaphors for Capitalism, is that he’s resorting to immoral methods to do anything to not be exploited and to try and “get out” yk. right. you feel me???
-this may just be the mental illness in me but i really do think he, along with all avatars ( but weirdly i empathize with the eye more) is a victim of the power he serves and not just someone wielding its power. something something being driven by forces you understand but still find yourself unwilling and honestly unable to not heed the call no matter what it takes.
are people reading this as i agree with the insane perspective that this dude is a capitalist in legitimate actual canon D’:
pls dont i dont mean it that way i was extremely tired writing this. the point im actually trying to make it that if you’re framing the entire series as some kind of allegory for living under capitalism then, sure, its possible to view him like that. but i still dont think thats accurate?
also, more importantly, iirc its explicitly stated that the entire series as a whole is not meant to be that fuckin cut and dry, especially regarding something like that.
and the point im trying to make is that even framed in that context, he would be trying to remove himself from that system and still finds himself unable to. right. the one thing he really fears is the end, spends his entire life trying to escape it to a degree, and still finds himself consumed by it in the end.
also, for your consideration, “[JONNY] Uh, like the idea of- like what- well you have to participate in an actively harmful system or you will, yourself will receive harm?” from mag 160.2 . exactly literally that. right.
everyone is entitled to their own little regency au that lives in their heart and in mine jon gets yeeted back into the 18teens but jonah also inexplicably has all his memories from the next 200 years (i had a wonderful dream!) and is so sure this time he can get the apocalypse done in 50 years max (efficiencymaxing) if he can just sweet talk his archivist (who came back to him 🥰) into being cool about it (because you can only really pull off the ‘trick’ route once) meanwhile jon is running around edinburgh trying to looney tunes drop a piano on him. ideally this also involves at least two full chapters of both of them mutually pretending to have amnesia in an attempt to get the drop on each other
The inherent homoeroticism of killing your enemy and immediately regretting it
It’s about rage, it’s about obsession, it’s about making that two-person war your entire raison d’être. It’s about loving and mistaking it for hatred and loving and loving and loving to the point of destruction. His or yours, it doesn’t matter. And you think seeing him dead at your feet will make you feel better, but all you feel is a whole lot of nothing.