August 2023

ocxmaul:

my text post collection vol. 1

robynthesavior:

the accidental parallel of

and

most-fuckable-character-showdown:

Round 1E Matchup 6

Millions Knives from Trigun Stampede vs Elias Bouchard from The Magnus Archives

Millions Knives

Elias Bouchard

See Results

May the most fuckable win!

bigfreakinfrog:

elias has developed such rigid and thorough coping skills hes like. “yeah im not neurodivergent anymore”

and then someone is being too loud for too long. or he gets sneezed on. or food spills on his clothes or touches his hands.

then he has to lock himself in his office and try not to hyperventilate.

fred-erick-frankenstein:

crzyprsn42:

lazycatcornernipples:

zombiecheetah:

pedestrianfootbridge:

harblkun:

krazykitsune:

leupagus:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

frostlands:

jaaaaaaaaaackfrost:

but what if a vampire drank the blood of someone who was anemic like would they be seriously grossed out

“what the fuck is this”

“i have anemia”

“can you take something for that you should probably take something for that this shit is nasty to drink let alone have running through your body i’m setting up a doctor’s appointment for you”

“dude really you don’t have to just leave what the fu—”

“you disgust me here take these iron supplements”

“where did you even get th—”

“shut up and take your pills and dont forget your vitamin D”

“i’m going to check up on you weekly to make sure you’re taking them”

“that’s not necessary”

“maybe we should work on a dietary plan with foods rich in iron and other things for you”

“do you get this involved with all of your meals”

VAMPIREDUDE:
did u get the cookbook i orderd 4 u

ME:
Oh my god, first of all stop using text speak, you told me you were 278, second how did you know where I LIVED, third yes I got it.

VAMPIREDUDE:
heard onions were good 4 blood, eat lots

ME:
So you can have a tasty meal? I guess you’d rather I stay away from garlic, huh.

VAMPIREDUDE:
UR being v rude I just got u a present!!!

ME:
THE COOKBOOK IS CALLED “HOW TO TASTE DELICIOUS,” I AM CALLING THE COPS

#sounds like the begining of a beautiful friendship #gimme this sitcom

image

The Sun will go down eventually!

I love an overprotective vampire threatening their charge/food source with the line “the sun will go down eventually!”.

Imagine your OTP

“Your last blood work said your sodium and potassium levels were a bit low…”

“STOP CALLING IT BLOOD WORK EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A NIP AT MY HANDS ON THE COUCH!”

food to lovers

[ID: a digital drawing showing the corner of a house, one side in full sunlight, the other in the shadows. In the shadows stands a vampire, all in blue because of the darkness, in the sun walks a young person with dark skin and dark, piled up curly hair. The vampire scream enraged at them, arm raised (but still in the shadows): “Go to your appointment!” Unbothered, the person keeps walking, looking down at their phone, saying: “Nah.” /end ID].

literalfuckingfreak:

quick sketch cuz im putting off painting a chair so im looking thru my procreate folders and finishing some wips

juniepops:

if i had absolute power i would be really chill with it actually. i would never corrupt absolutely. i would keep it real niceys. heart

evilwizard:

pretty cool how you went on a heroic journey to gain the power needed to defeat me. unfortunately i was on a cooler, villainous journey

ichabodcranemills:

Dude, it’s actually okay that Jonah killed a few blokes so he wouldn’t die until the 2010s, how WOULD’VE HE MET JON OTHERWISE?

uglypsyche-deactivated20240414:

Was trying to type something up but alas. Words hard. Enjoy my image

mongreldyke:

nothin’ quite like how a dog loves

let dead dogs lie - silas denver melvin // red dog - elizabeth frink // how to be a dog - andrew kane // domestication syndrome - dhole b // no origin found // for your own good - leah horlick // pleasure - beth cavener // it will come back - hozier // i am a dog. i have blood all over my teeth. - uhode // same poem as directly previous

another wrong blog incident. agony

gooboogy:

sketch on paper colored background with blue tones, Jonathan Sims is at his desk with statements in front of him. He is holding a tape recorder, his clothes and hair are disheveled, his large curly hair tries its very best to bust out of its bun. 
Elias places a hand on Jon's shoulder and leans in gently to tell him "you need to take a break."
Jon says "I need to do my job."
Elias replies "The statements can wait." ALT

When even your boss wants you to stop working for like 2 seconds

(image ID in alt text)

tired-fandom-ndn:

Wow I’m so so so glad that Jonah Magnus is absolutely 100% gay and trans 😊

runefells:

Casual day

literalfuckingfreak:

its finally done. i started this exactly 1 month 3 hours and 45 minutes ago

uhh open the image for better quality and all that shit yk

au where the doctors dont realise jon still has brain activity and they just bury him but hes like. alive. and elias has to dig him up

elias-rights:

I’m struck by how much Jonah loves living in spite of being driven largely by fear. He dooms the world “to ensure [his] own happiness”, he felt curiosity and not only fear when he discovered the Entities, he loves scheduling, he has a sense of humour, he likes cake… He genuinely wanted more life for its own sake and not simply because it was the alternative to dying.

spaceoperajay:

i am just very excited to see how many crimes jonah magnus will commit <3 i have my pom poms out ready to cheer him on every step of the way

literalfuckingfreak:

JONELIAS WEEK DAY 1. FUCK IT. VAMPIRES BABEY!!!!

ok and heres the sketch. cuz i like itt

lets goooo

if u saw me repost this! no actually ! u did not :) thanks!

JONELIAS WEEK IS RUNNING AND I DIDNT KNOW??????????

this is okay actually i have something for thursday i just need to edit it and probably write some more for it

literalfuckingfreak:

JONELIAS WEEK DAY 2 I AM CURRENTLY RUNNING AROUND MY CAMPUS LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO DO MY HOMEWORK IN PEACE BUT I THINK THE PROMPT WAS UP TOO LATE!! GO TO BED BOY!! ITS LATE!!

maezanilla:

Finding a new favorite fictional character is like, will you be temporary or will you become a permanent part of my personality for the next 10 years?

runefells:

Dichotomy

emperiocism:

gotta kiss that smug look off Elias’s face 😤

itkrnowsyou:

remember when elias told jon it’d be hard to replace him then later on said he’s the beating heart of the institute and then we’ve got tim telling jon ‘this place loves you too much to let you get swapped’ that was so silly aha. oh

this post was tagged jm but its literally jonelias

shoujo–rei:

i’m a big fan of his work (brutal pipe murder)

literalfuckingfreak:

DAY! SIX! MOTHER! FUCKERS! FANTASY AU

i actually. ok. so i think MAG 160.2 jonny says for the characters dnd classes elias would be a cleric, which makes sense. and jon would be a warlock that thinks hes a druid. also makes sense. this is that.

ok byeeeee

doorhusband:

not a jonelias week prompt, but it was inspired by the people on the jonelias server! (hi guys!)

this is an au where (up to you why) jonah puts his eyes in jon. for me, hes either nearly or jus fully marked. jonah thinks jon died immediately, so he attempts to read out the ritual to summon the eye. however, his throat closes up when he tries to. it had to be jon. luckily, jon didnt die in the transfer. unfortunately, he has to convince jon to read it. includes body sharing, jon becoming head of the institute, other avatars thinking its simply jonah, all the fun shenanigans.

theres a few more ideas for it, but thats all ill say now!

the poem how to be a dog is about jonelias

jonahfagnus:

the poem how to be a dog is about jonelias

im right

literalfuckingfreak:

literalfuckingfreak:

literalfuckingfreak:

i NEED . someone to explain the elias is a capitalist viewpoint to me. i genuinely want to understand that. not that i necessarily agree i just want to see where ppl are coming from. like i can get how jonnys explaination of tma being representative of being stuck in systems of oppression like capitalism can lead to that viewpoint but i really truly do not get the final piece thats like THIS MAN. IS CAPITALIST. righht. please im begging i want to UNDERSTANDDD

ok im trying to word my actual opinion on this without sounding unhinged. but i think im just going to have to sound unhinged because i just am. so, bullet points.

-he is at least in some way representative of some kind of exploiter (cant think of a better word) in a capitalist system. thats. yes. textual.

-i think i assumed ppl meant he was LITERALLY a capitalist

-i do genuinely believe that hes not a super posh dude, or like fabulously wealthy, at least in his personal life outside of spending money on his Evil Schemes, just because. I dont. i dont think it fits his character. thats really not important tho

-my interpretation of his character, at least in the way of Extended Metaphors For Capitalism, was that while he had the upper hand, he was still inevitably a victim of it

-but, to be fair, that can just be said of anyone. yk. ive always viewed his as someone who, while obviously wanting his vision of the future as Eye God, was still afraid of ending up in the same position as his employees? right? and was like, trying to Get Ahead

-I mean, a lot of the mans actions are, from what i can tell ( im reading his wiki, jonahs wiki, while writing this to double check my work) motivated both by the end, and by the eye’s almost manic obsession with Needing To See, right.

-i think the point im trying to make with this in connection to like, yk Extended Metaphors for Capitalism, is that he’s resorting to immoral methods to do anything to not be exploited and to try and “get out” yk. right. you feel me???

-this may just be the mental illness in me but i really do think he, along with all avatars ( but weirdly i empathize with the eye more) is a victim of the power he serves and not just someone wielding its power. something something being driven by forces you understand but still find yourself unwilling and honestly unable to not heed the call no matter what it takes.

are people reading this as i agree with the insane perspective that this dude is a capitalist in legitimate actual canon D’:

pls dont i dont mean it that way i was extremely tired writing this. the point im actually trying to make it that if you’re framing the entire series as some kind of allegory for living under capitalism then, sure, its possible to view him like that. but i still dont think thats accurate?

also, more importantly, iirc its explicitly stated that the entire series as a whole is not meant to be that fuckin cut and dry, especially regarding something like that.

and the point im trying to make is that even framed in that context, he would be trying to remove himself from that system and still finds himself unable to. right. the one thing he really fears is the end, spends his entire life trying to escape it to a degree, and still finds himself consumed by it in the end.

also, for your consideration, “[JONNY] Uh, like the idea of- like what- well you have to participate in an actively harmful system or you will, yourself will receive harm?” from mag 160.2 . exactly literally that. right.

theslowesthnery:

Screenshot of a tweet by user @binghelovebot. The tweet says: "The damage 'cool motive still murder' and those articles about why stanning villains is problematic did to a generation of fandom character analysis"ALT
Second tweet in the thread. It reads: "There are times when it can be interesting to try and say HOW moral a character is, but 90% of the time it's less interesting than literally any other aspect of their character, including just analyzing WHAT their moral compass is."ALT
Third tweet in the thread. It reads: "When your character analysis consists of taking a character doing something that is both considered bad in real life and in the narrative and saying 'That's Bad' you are the most boring person in the world.ALT
Fourth and last tweet in the thread: "You can dislike woobification (which has lost all meaning) but I'd take a thousand overly soft depictions of villains that at least TRY to analyze their motives and backstrory than I would a single 'but they have agency and chose to do the Bad Thing >:('."ALT

coughs

cornmagnate:

I’m late but I really needed to give you this for jonelias week 🤲

Eepy 🛌

polycoriad:

everyone is entitled to their own little regency au that lives in their heart and in mine jon gets yeeted back into the 18teens but jonah also inexplicably has all his memories from the next 200 years (i had a wonderful dream!) and is so sure this time he can get the apocalypse done in 50 years max (efficiencymaxing) if he can just sweet talk his archivist (who came back to him 🥰) into being cool about it (because you can only really pull off the ‘trick’ route once) meanwhile jon is running around edinburgh trying to looney tunes drop a piano on him. ideally this also involves at least two full chapters of both of them mutually pretending to have amnesia in an attempt to get the drop on each other

faustandfurious:

faustandfurious:

The inherent homoeroticism of killing your enemy and immediately regretting it

It’s about rage, it’s about obsession, it’s about making that two-person war your entire raison d’être. It’s about loving and mistaking it for hatred and loving and loving and loving to the point of destruction. His or yours, it doesn’t matter. And you think seeing him dead at your feet will make you feel better, but all you feel is a whole lot of nothing.

frankenstein jonelias au

to the surprise of nobody, im thinking about jonelias again