i actually really like the jonelias dynamic that i have made up in my mind where it has the potential to turn into such a twisted and wicked relationship where its only driving force is desire. fucked up desire, but desire nonetheless. elias sculpted jon into exactly what he wanted, a god to be worshipped and heralded as the most important being in the universe. he made him into that. and jon will rest his head on elias’s thigh and feel love coursing through them. is it for each other? they can’t say. but it feels good.
if the cards had fallen a different way, i don’t know. maybe jon wouldn’t have resisted so much. maybe he would grow to enjoy it. another one of my made up desires: a jon sims who is just utterly accepting of the monstrosity that made him “other” in the eyes of his friends. he doesn’t care. he’ll take from people whatever he wants. he’ll enjoy the act of feeding. which also goes hand in hand with the kind of pseudo cannibalism that tma had going on when jon was feeding on people’s statements. the dangers of consumption. consuming another person and their fear. scarring them for the rest of their life. is it really so bad to feed and be healthy? jon didn’t want to stop, not really. he felt bad, sure. but. it feels bad at first and then it doesn’t. maybe, he only needed one more person to take the leap into a never-ending hunger. i wanted to see that.
so much potential here! jonelias on their knees for each other. jon is kneeling so that he can be praised, worshipped, loved for his monstrosity, not despite. elias is kneeling because jon is the closest thing he will ever get to god and he is beautiful and one day, he’ll bring the beauty in fear out of the dark and everyone will see.