I’m a little nervous talking about this, but I’ve had these thoughts for a while and want to get them down somewhere, so here we are!
There’s a common discussion within TMA of the Idea of human vs monster, and where the line between that is drawn, and this discussion especially applies to the avatar’s and their feeding habits, their desires to hurt others — their hunger. But, I think, that mentality can often lead to the real question being ignored, and that’s the question or choice.
It’s a common theme within TMA, and is prominent within the Becoming of avatars, and what they do after.
A good way of understanding Jon’s feeding in s4 isn’t through the lens of how human is he, rather it’s through the lens of how similar he and Melanie are. He and Melanie act as foils to each other during s4, their actions and choices emphasising their opposing paths.
The gist of it is both wanted to hurt people. It felt good. Both admit to this fact.
And the reason they chose it, is because they’re hurting. Melanie admits to this outright. She’s been angry so long, with little else for her, lashing out and desperate to survive, and suddenly, she has this thing etched into her bones, telling her that this anger is righteous, that hurting herself and hurting others is good. Both are aware that this isn’t good, of course, but it’s so hard to let go of that little, reassuring voice, because doing so means confronting yourself, and your struggles.
I speak as someone with C-PTSD, but this is a very realistic depiction of how it feels, at least to me personally. When you’ve been so powerless for a long period of time, and suddenly, something or someone tells that it’s okay to lash out, to hurt, it’s easy to fall into the destructive cycle, because hurting other people, taking away their power, it gives you a sense of control back, a sense of power.
It isn’t right, of course it isn’t, but it just feels so good.
This is again shown by Melanie and Jon’s separate paths.
Melanie ends up choosing to recover after the bullet is removed, when she could have just as easily found a new, self-destructive path to go down, and it’s not just because the bullet was removed. Taking away her agency here takes away from her arc. She chooses to accept help and she really does work on bettering herself. She doesn’t want to hurt people anymore. Jon doesn’t do that. He feels he can’t. He’s had his power taken from him more times than he can count, been at the mercy of people and monsters, and finally, finally he has power again. He’s put in the position of the tormentor and it feels good. He finds satisfaction in it. And, as with Melanie, there’s a little voice in the back of his head telling him this is right, no matter how guilty he feels afterwards.
He makes excuses to himself, tries to rationalise his own actions as a way of coping, finding a reason to do it again because it’s all he has. It’s a comfort. Is there a supernatural element present? Absolutely! The relationship between Entity and Avatar is one that can just as much parasitic as it is symbiotic, but I think more of Jon’s character is lost by dismissing his darker choices. If anything, the darker choices emphasise his compassionate choices, and vice versa.
Jon can be a victim and still hurt other people; that’s an important thing to acknowledge. Avatars are not just their fears, there is far more to their hunger than that, and they are who they are because of their choices and wants.
Basically, Jon and Melanie are wonderfully written characters and I really love the themes of choice in TMA, can you tell?
This isn’t anything major, just me re-listening to scene and realising stuff in hindsight.
On first listen, Elias’ reaction is solely stemming from his frustration with Martin and the burning of the statements. I imagine it wouldn’t have felt good, being as is it directly goes against all he, as an avatar of the Eye, stands for — destruction of knowledge and all that.
But, on second listen, his reaction is far more personal. Martin has unknowingly hit a bullseye with that statement, being as it was a letter to Jonah, and we have evidence of him being the sentimental sort, as with Barnabas’ bones. The little ‘oh’ is hard to hear, but it is there, and it’s definitely his reaction to the statement. The deep breath he takes after could, again, be frustration, but it could also be interpreted as him composing himself, preventing anything else from slipping through the cracks.
“I was going to snatch you away. Lure you both into this web, and then take you.
Drive him to despair, so that when you returned to him, bulging, and talking in a thousand tiny voices, it would drive him to a final push. ”
Annabelle’s original plan was TERRIFYING… so naturally I had to draw the angst
quick JE pic for the night - they just left [insert Institute holiday party/gala/get together here] to grab some air and Jon can’t help but bitch about it to his direct boss 😌
[ID: An illustration of episode 154 of The Magnus Archives showing Martin sitting at a desk with his hands clasped in front of him. His posture looks cold and defensive, and he appears to be in the middle of speaking. Jon stands on the opposite side of the desk, bracing his hands on it and leaning forward imploringly. The words “You know, I think it always did,” are written in orange between Jon and Martin. The reflection in Martin’s computer screen shows him surrounded by tendrils of fog which are not visible anywhere else. The first two images in the photoset are close up crops of Jon and Martin respectively. End ID]
What if I told you that something like that happened in real life?
I don’t know how much you guys know about German poetry, but the names Goethe and Schiller might ring a bell.
Anyway, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe and Friedrich Schiller werebest friends for a really long time with Goethe having been the older one. Schiller got sick with pretty much everything at some point, however, and died, leaving Goethe devastated.
So what did Goethe do? Keep Schiller’s skull in his office. You know, like friends do… On a blue velvet cushion because why not (He even wrote a poem in 1826 called Bei Betrachtung von Schiller’s Schädel [While looking at Schiller’s skull] like any totally normal person would)
The funny part is that until this day no one knows where the original skull is because it got lost at some point.
But I can’t stop thinking about the implications of keeping someone’s bones near you. There’s absolutely no way you do this when you don’t love someone. Like, you’re literally keeping a very visual reminder of that person. Of their death especially. It almost seems desperate. Grief, loss, and love entwined for eternity. It’s a constant memento mori and that’s what makes it so tragic. With pictures you’re reminded of who a person was but with this there’s nothing but the need for acceptance that they’re gone for good. There’s no lying to yourself.
You loved and you lost and you have to live with that.
oh, you poor thing, you really thought god will be kindto you, didn’t you?
for whatever reason, tublr seems to like my genderless version of ceaseless watcher’s special lil boy so may i present to u, my favorite old man. listen, i’m not saying a guy who ended the world is flawless, HOWEVER, in this essay, i will-
[ Image ID. A digital illustration of Martin from the Magnus Archives shown at a ¾ angle from the hips up. Martin is a fat white man with reddish brown hair, brown eyes and a slightly ruddy complexion. He is wearing large glasses, a green cardigan with white vertical stripes over a white button up shirt and a green tie. He is facing slightly to the left of the canvas, but his eyes are looking to the right off screen. A faint greenish glow from off screen illuminates the right side of his face and hair. He has a small frown, and his facial expression is nervous and unsure. He is holding two large folders full of papers in his arms in front of his chest. The folder closest to his chest is yellow, and has blue and pink page markers sticking out from the top. The folder furthest from him is dark red, and has a white label on the spine that reads “Statemence”. There are papers with scratchy, unintelligible writing on them sticking haphazardly out of the folders. One of the smaller papers has a tiny eye doodled in the left hand corner of it. There is a single spider dangling from a thread coming out of one of the red folder. He stands in front of a light blue watercolor background. There are decorative doodles of white worms and eyes scattered around him on the background. End Image ID]
been putting together nearly the entire Institute from The Magnus Archives in sketches (with immense help from @helloarchivist <33 ) this is all completely based on personal headcanons and imagination, going from the top floor to basement, don’t question the size or layout this is all based on vibes alone lol
special shoutout also to @blackberreh-art for inspiring the big ass Eye window in Elias’ office
“i asked chatgpt-” well i asked the wasp nest in my attic, its song is loud and beautiful and i am afraid but it still called u a bitch
anyway a new tarot piece! i think i might’ve died on this one, yay. i couldn’t let go of the black n white version so imma add it here just for myself. jane is one of my faves in terms of statements, so i just had to include her. also still not sure if i should just throw jonah as the emperor.
anyway yea, in my attic, straight up jorkin it. and by “it”, heh, let’s just say there is a wasps nest in my attic
I’m emo, so I did a study from a screen cap I saw of the movie lion (I’ve never seen it tho) because I am a whore for lighting. And also I am forever in safehouse period hell.
[id: the image is a digital illustration of Jon and Martin from The Magnus Archives. In the initiate forground, the back of Martin’s head can be seen. He has medium light toned skin, and grey hair, he is wearing a beige shirt and is laying on his side with his hand out, palm up. In front of him, facing the viewer, is Jon. He has medium dark brown skin, and long graying hair. He is wearing a light grey shirt. He is lying on his side, and one of his hands is tracing the lines on Martin’s palm. Jon’s expression is soft and his eyes are watery. From behind him, light is streaming in and casting shadows over them. It’s all very tender. End id]
