Ooooooooh you wanna interpret that fictional character as aromantic because there is subtext that would actually back that up and aromanticism would also add another layer to their character and would make so much more sense oooooooooooooooooh🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥🍥
Can I tell you guys about the fucked up meat van that comes through my neighborhood like it’s an ice cream truck because I’m thinking about it again and it’s haunting me
So there’s this meat van that rolls through my neighborhood every so often selling very questionable meat door-to-door, from a an equally dubious business whose yelp reviews are near unanimously abysmal.
You know, just your average, everyday neighborhood institution. You got your fruit stand dude, your ice cream truck driver, your elote guy, your meat van man…This guy’s van was sketchy as all get-out too, just a solid white windowless van with the name painted haphazardly on the side.
Dude came to my place more than once and was visibly… unwell? Each time. Looked very haggard and would park his van, get out and walk up and down the street VERY loudly singing a made up jingle advertising his wares and carrying armfuls of drippy trays of wet, gray looking meat
He’s notorious for getting shitty with you when you politely tell him to leave, and would get so offended he’d storm back to the van and peel out— sometimes he’d have his coffee or oozing meat trays on the hood he’d forget about that’d fly off when he drove and splatter on the ground.
Alarmingly when you Google the business address it not only says the business is permanently closed (despite this guy routinely still making his rounds selling stuff door to door), but it’s a RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS. Even worse, Google has shown multiple different addresses for this business in the past few years. All of them have been residential addresses. It’s just some regular ol’ house— But when you open up Google Earth on the address it just cuts to a closeup of a manhole cover!? I damn near believe the meat man’s running this shit out of the sewers
Assuming he isn’t peddling human meat (/j. I think.) my only logical guess as to where this guy obtains his product is I think he resells stuff local businesses (hotels, casinos mainly) reject and don’t want to use for their own restaurants due to quality control issues. There must be something genuinely wrong with the product because many reviews mention people falling ill from it and the meat itself not resembling any previous chicken, steak, fish etc. they’ve ever eaten in the past. A lot specifically mention a slimy, rubbery texture and concerning gray color to the meat.
Worryingly, old negative reviews online I’ve seen for his business mysteriously disappear after a while sometimes— I’ll see if I can find more or if any are archived but I wonder how or why they get taken down
A few updates to this saga:
1. This particular company is banned from selling product in at least one state / had their license revoked there
2. As it turns out, this isn’t just a problem in my area— there are multiple companies that sell meat door-to-door like this. Meat vans are somehow a known phenomenon. My horror upon learning this cannot be overstated.
3. There is a rival door to door meat company in my area that recently came to my house and, turns out, has an equally terrible reputation! However instead of one guy it’s two women this time, which honestly I love to see. Glad these girlbosses are breaking the meat ceiling and diversifying the industry I guess
A few people have assumed this was some fake SCP-esque story and like, no, this is real and this actually happened 😭 the company has an actual Yelp you can find, I just don’t want legal trouble by naming names. All of this is still *cough cough* ALLEGED technically
trying to wrangle skintones appearing right across devices that display colours differently is probably what they make you do in the secret 10th circle of hell
thinking about the hole that sasha left behind. she was the first archival assistant to go so we basically know nothing about her. she even teases this in her final words: ‘i never told you what happened to me in artifact storage’ and she’s right! we never learn! We only know she likes computers and nitpicking pronunciations of circus instruments!
Not!Sasha replaced her but also like. took her place in the narrative. we know more about not!sasha than we do about sasha james. she got to take all her development and intrigue. she got to move on in the story where sasha didnt.
so even though we can recognize sasha’s original VO, we dont know what she looks like. we dont know what she acted like. we dont know her likes or dislikes or her childhood. we can draw her or write fanfiction where she survived, but none of us have any idea how accurate that will be. we’ll honestly just be playing off shallow tropes, or using sasha as a blank space for whatever deus ex machina we imagine she could have pulled off if she was still around. None of that is 'her’, she’s as robbed of her personhood in our attempts to save her as she was from the not!them.
the characters in the show lost her, but so did we. the 4th wall protects us from being fooled by the not!them, but it also means we have no way of ever learning who she actually was.
ALT
