JONATHAN SIMS GOT HIS LOWER RIBS BONETURNED SO HE COULD SUCK HIS OWN DICK
JONATHAN SIMS GOT HIS LOWER RIBS BONETURNED SO HE COULD SUCK HIS OWN DICK

muppets tma where everyone is muppets but sasha gets replaced by a human actor when the notthem gets her
name: your full first and last name
statement number: your credit card number
date of statement: the expiry date
MAG#: the 3 little numbers on the back
jon: can someone look after my book collector for a minute while i go on my smoko
elias: book collector need lead pipe
jon: BOOK COLLECTOR DOES NOT NEED LEAD PIPE
Statement of Usher Raymond IV, regarding an experience with a mind-controlling DJ. Original statement given July 12, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.
Statement begins.
ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)
Usher
Yeah man




forsaking my uni classwork in favour of tiny jmart
any archival assistant born after 1983 can’t archive … all they know is breaking and entering, record they statement, behold, be bisexual, drink hot tea & lie
WHO WILL YOU BE, WITH A NAME OR THREE, AND A STRANGER’S FACE WORN WRONG?
i want to say elias gives me cuteness aggression but its not cute its just aggression i just want to kill him and tear him apart and destroy maim bite kill kill kill kill



s4 (based on this post)
he stole borrowed one of martin’s cardigans


my name is michael dis'tortion delusion spiral way i am six and a half feet tall and have long blond hair that falls in ringlets around my shoulders. i was standing ominously in an open house viewing wearing an inhuman laugh and weird hands. a real estate agent stared at me. i stuck my incredibly long middle finger up at her
you want me to go to work? the thing that killed fiona law and emma harvey and michael shelley and gertrude robinson and sasha james and timothy stoker and

dont think ya needed the Beholding for that one
if hatsune miku was in the magnus archives universe would she be named hatsune michael


tma au where everything is the same but elias beats leitner to death with one of those groan tube things

world’s most divorced couple make a bet