May 2025

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JONATHAN SIMS GOT HIS LOWER RIBS BONETURNED SO HE COULD SUCK HIS OWN DICK

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muppets tma where everyone is muppets but sasha gets replaced by a human actor when the notthem gets her

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THE MAGNUS ARCHIVES CHARACTER GENERATOR!!!!!!

name: your full first and last name

statement number: your credit card number

date of statement: the expiry date

MAG#: the 3 little numbers on the back

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jon: can someone look after my book collector for a minute while i go on my smoko

elias: book collector need lead pipe

jon: BOOK COLLECTOR DOES NOT NEED LEAD PIPE

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Statement of Usher Raymond IV, regarding an experience with a mind-controlling DJ. Original statement given July 12, 2010. Audio recording by Jonathan Sims, Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute, London.

Statement begins.

ARCHIVIST (STATEMENT)

Usher
Yeah man

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hey ! i just finished mag200. what the fuck !!!!!!!

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forsaking my uni classwork in favour of tiny jmart

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any archival assistant born after 1983 can’t archive … all they know is breaking and entering, record they statement, behold, be bisexual, drink hot tea & lie

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WHO WILL YOU BE, WITH A NAME OR THREE, AND A STRANGER’S FACE WORN WRONG?

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i want to say elias gives me cuteness aggression but its not cute its just aggression i just want to kill him and tear him apart and destroy maim bite kill kill kill kill

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s4 (based on this post)

he stole borrowed one of martin’s cardigans

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my name is michael dis'tortion delusion spiral way i am six and a half feet tall and have long blond hair that falls in ringlets around my shoulders. i was standing ominously in an open house viewing wearing an inhuman laugh and weird hands. a real estate agent stared at me. i stuck my incredibly long middle finger up at her

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head of magnus institute does his evil schemes work lying on bed like schoolgirl

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divorce shirt

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you want me to go to work? the thing that killed fiona law and emma harvey and michael shelley and gertrude robinson and sasha james and timothy stoker and

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clothing swap

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thinking about the distortion on this sunday night. what was once michael died for being too human and what was once helen died for not being human enough…

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dont think ya needed the Beholding for that one

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do you think its going to hurt
(original image below)

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if hatsune miku was in the magnus archives universe would she be named hatsune michael

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[EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL WEEHGOOUGH MURDER]

tma au where everything is the same but elias beats leitner to death with one of those groan tube things

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aroallo jon 🧘

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jonathansimsbecoming:

aroallo jon 🧘

actually. adding my tags

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rotating t4t jmart in my head in every possible direction. transmasc jmart. transfem jmart. transfem jon transmasc martin. transfem martin transmasc jon. nonbinary of all flavours. the possibilities are endless

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jonathansimsbecoming:

jonathansimsbecoming:

aroallo jon 🧘

actually. adding my tags

THIS !!! is so extremely real . i’ve had moments where i’m like Well what even defines my aromanticism because theres like ? something there sometimes? but i do not want an actual relationship. i think it’s why i get so into fictional relationships because it’s all about observing the dynamic with none of the actual participation and well thats sooo jon. him being aro also really fits with his relationship w martin in season 5 because while the world is normal ? no interest. He Doesn’t, Like At All care for all that usually but what even is romance during the literal apocalypse? there’s something about the lack of any typical conventions that Makes It Work. idk. hashtag aroallo jon rights

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trying to figure out heavypaint

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world’s most divorced couple make a bet