2020-08-15 13:01:06 ¶ ● ⬈

## some good ol’ jonelias angst

archiveofwebs:

> One of the first things Elias did when he knew that the thing he had with Jon was serious was tell him the truth. He knew that once Jon came into his full powers that he wouldn’t be able to hide it.

> So he tells him. He tells him what he’s done as Jonah, as James, as Elias. Tells and tells the horrible things he did and still does. After that, after that…he tells Jon about his last relationships. Tells him about the people he’s slept with, why, and all that.

> He tells him about the arranged marriage deal he has with the Lukas’s. Tells him how it secures money for the Institute and creates an alliance. He tells him that up until they got together, he was married to Peter Lukas. It was their tenth marriage.

> Elias says he’s slept with the man but truly has no interest in him, isn’t in love with him. The divorces became a game for them. Just out of spite. Their last “marriage” lasted a few weeks before Elias realized he was falling in love with Jon.

> Jon’s…quiet. He takes everything in. Is understanding. Holds Elias’s hands as the man struggles to reveal himself. Inside he is shattering. Suddenly the weight of countless people is pressing down on him and he realizes that compared to any of these faceless people…

> He’s nothing. Just a random Archivist who’s soon to become something more. For Fear. He knows Elias will get bored. He had the smallest dream of getting married one day, back before he met Elias, and he’s not sure if that’s even on the table with him.

> He would probably cry if Elias jokingly asked for a divorce. So as Elias smiles weakly at Jon, Jon smiles back. In Elias’s mind, he’s relieved that Jon took everything well. In Jon’s mind, he’s lost everything before it even happened. But he can’t stop loving Elias.