October 2020

Since I like combining aus: Elias being Jon’s sugar daddy while he’s in university. The twist is Jon is already sworn to the beholding and thinks Elias knows while Elias thinks Jon is just this human he’s spoiling.

tired-fandom-ndn:

OOOH, YES, VERY GOOD

This got really long so it’s going under a cut, sorry lmao

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jonelias for your consideration: au where jon and elias are married pre-canon but no one knows (maybe jon doesn't like wearing a ring because of sensory reasons?) and the magnus institute is filled with smart but dumb people who don't connect elias bragging about his husband to jon. tim's heard way too much about how handsome and funny and intelligent his boss's husband is, he doesn't expect said husband to be his other boss.

tired-fandom-ndn:

tired-fandom-ndn:

OKAY OKAY THIS IS GOOD. There’s two directions we can go with this.

#1 is that they are purposely hiding their marriage, probably because Jon wants to; he’s a younger guy married to his boss, he was given a position he didn’t earn, etc etc, he doesn’t want their relationship to be tainted by how other people see it or think that Elias is playing favorites even though he totally is. So even though Elias brags about his amazing husband constantly, he never mentions Jon’s name, out of respect for Jon’s wishes. This would involve so much drama!!

  • The assistants (mostly Tim) trying to set Jon up on dates!
  • Martin flirting with Jon because he thinks he’s single!
  • Elias and Jon sharing longing looks during work because they just want to be affectionate!
  • The Institute gossip mill going wild because of the way Elias pressed his hand to Jon’s lower back and leaned in so close during the last sponsorship gala!
  • Clandestine hook-ups in the supplies closet!
  • Someone seeing them kiss and assuming that Elias is cheating on his husband!
  • Jon’s turmoil from hiding his relationship from the people he loves and cares about and trusts!

Now, if #1 is a soap opera though, then #2 would be a romantic workplace comedy. #2 is that they are, in fact, very open about their relationship but their coworkers and friends are just too fucking oblivious to put the pieces together.

  • Jon carries his ring with him everywhere but hates wearing it on his finger because of sensory issues and instead, it hangs on a chain underneath his shirt so no one realizes it’s there and matches the one Elias wears.
  • Elias just loves pet names so much that, even though he corners his employees specifically just to brag about his amazing husband, he never once mentions Jon’s actual name. It’s all “my darling” and “my beloved” and “my dear” and a whole bunch of other cheesy bullshit. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, he just wants everyone to know how much he loves Jon.
  • They always go to work and leave work together but because they both have such important positions and they’re so dedicated to their jobs, they’re always the first people to arrive and the last to leave. No one knows that they do so at the same time.
  • They are very affectionate at work, but that affection is wildly misinterpreted by other people. Jon’s way of showing love is basically by nagging and worrying and being snippy and sarcastic, so they all just think he’s being a dick to his boss who is just oh so patient with his incredibly difficult employee. On the other hand, Elias is TOUCHY. He’s always putting his hands on Jon, leaning in close, invading his personal space, and everyone thinks that he’s sexually harassing the poor archivist who is too scared and embarrassed to say anything. HR gets like 7 reports about his behavior on a daily basis.
  • They kiss at work, but only quick pecks because anything else is inappropriate unless it’s in a closet or one of the quieter parts of Artifact Storage. This leads to fun shenanigans where they somehow only kiss when no one is looking and when people who do see, it happens so fast that they’re convinced they were imagining it.
  • They always go to Institute events together but because they were both invited as important members of the Institute, no one realizes that they’re there together.
  • Jon is 100% convinced that everyone knows about their relationship. Elias knows about the confusion but thinks it’s hysterical.
  • Rosie knows. Rosie always knows.

OKAY BUT WHILE I WAS WRITING THIS I REALIZED IT COULD BE A MILLION TIMES FUNNIER WITH LONELY EYES + JON??? BECAUSE IF EVERYONE KNOWS ABOUT PETER THEN THAT WOULD JUST TAKE THE MISUNDERSTANDINGS AND SHENANIGANS TO A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL. POOR ELIAS HAS BEEN ABANDONED BY HIS HUSBAND WHO’S AT SEA SO OFTEN, BUT THAT’S NO EXCUSE FOR HIM TO HAVE A PASSIONATE AFFAIR WITH ANOTHER MAN. JON, YOU HOME WRECKING WHORE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING.

I am just absolutely delighted by this, if you couldn’t tell.

@jaygarrick256

The Institute absolutely has an HR. It is doing its absolute best to present itself as a legitimate and respectable organization dedicated to the pursuit of supernatural and paranormal discovery, and part of being a legitimate and respectable organization is taking care of its employees. Hence the HR.

Now. Does HR actually help anyone at all? No, absolutely not. Is it designed specifically to further isolate its employees from each other and other people? Yes, that’s pretty much its whole purpose. Does it amp up the employees’ paranoia levels and their fear of being watched and recorded beyond anything they could’ve ever imagined? Of course, it’s the Institute for god’s sake! But it’s still an HR and it still looks very good on paper.

This is not a prompt or anything but I found your jonelias post about Jon having extra eyes and I’m now in love with Elias who doesn’t know about them until he makes Jon orgasm and looks up to see branching trails of eyes in Jon’s flesh appearing

tired-fandom-ndn:

The intimacy of being watched so fully by someone who loves you with everything they have, of every part of you being Seen by your lover and your soulmate and your god… … . . Love that shit. They’re so good.

tired-fandom-ndn:

Every single jonelias shipper, patiently waiting for Elias to finally be in season 5:

jon-elias:

Jon: I hate you

Elias: Eye 👁👄👁 Know™️ you don’t mean that 😌

Jon: how the fuck did you just say that?!

You said Jon with many eyes and now I’m picturing both Elias making jokes about Jon having a halo because of the eyes around him and Elias lovingly kissing the many eyes on his skin while fucking him

tired-fandom-ndn:

Elias, the cheesy bastard, started calling Jon his angel after the eye incident and Jon indulged him for a while.

Then Elias fucked up and used that pet name in front of Simon and now it’s banned in their relationship forever.

Jon’s “halo” isn’t actually a physical thing that Elias can touch, but when he opens the rest of his physical eyes, Elias absolutely kisses his eyes. He tried to be kinky once and kissed an eyeball directly and Jon made him sleep on the couch for at least a week, so now he’s careful to only kiss the corners of the eyes or the eyelids.

staliaofatreides:

There is not one valid reason why Jonelias can’t be canon.

tired-fandom-ndn:

the-nottea-was-tentacles:

Thinking about a Jonelias soulmate AU. Jonah Magnus has had Jon’s name on his wrist for the last 200 years, his new bodies’ own soulmate lettering changing as soon as he enters their bodies. He has been looking for Jon for 200 years, and certainly does not plan on letting him get away now that he has finally found him.

For Jon, I actually can’t decide if he has Jonah or Elias on his wrist. For Jonah, you get the implication that Jon got a job at the Institute to find out more about his soulmate, who died long before Jon was born. But, with Elias you get Jon knowing immediately that his hot new boss, happens to be the other half of his soul. Plus, all the manipulation that involves, because surely if he is Jon’s soulmate, he wants what is best for Jon? And perhaps he even does! But he certainly doesn’t want what’s best for the rest of humanity!

For your consideration: Jon does have Elias’s name. But before that, he had the name James Wright on his wrist.

And then it suddenly changed and that? That doesn’t happen. The name you have on your wrist is your soulmate’s true name, the one that they’ll die with even if it’s not the one they’re born with. The name never changes, never.

But his did. And googling showed that both Elias Bouchard and James Wright have held the same position in the same Institute and he’s nothing if not curious.

colticue:

JonElias shippers are the same kinda horny as Hannigram shippers

Adding onto the sharing thoughts soulmate au just imagine if OG Elias is still in there. (Which I honestly believe because it’s very beholding to make Jonahs victims watch.) And he’s annoying Jonah and and Jon has to deal with that on top of all the noise from the institute

the-nottea-was-tentacles:

I totally agree with you about Elias still being in there it makes total sense.

But can you imagine how much Elias being in there and Jon being able to hear him would wreck Jonah’s plans?  Elias has probably been watching for years, maybe decades, and suddenly has a phone line directly to someone besides Jonah for the first time ever? Jon is going be told all sorts of things Jonah really doesn’t want his soulmate to know.

(Its even worse for Jonah if Elias notices Jon first, which is likely because he has less to distract him. Elias doing the mental equivalent of sneaking around to make sure Jon has the absolute most possible information.)

Maury: Elias, are you cheating on your Forsaken eldritch ex-husband with your Institute's Archivist, you said no, the lie detector test determined ... you're telling the truth.
Audience: *cheers*
Elias: *is smug*
Peter: Maury, I'm going to stop you right there, that test is NOT going to work on my husband, I don't even know if he has a blood pressure to measure anymore.
Maury: Well, Peter, we understand that, and that is why we have arranged for a VERY special reveal ... Right now, waiting backstage, Elias's Archivist Jon says he has been getting played like a cheap whistle right along with you, and he is here today to come forward and Compel the truth!
[The camera shows a very scowly Jon backstage. Audience loses their complete and utter shit.]
Elias: *sweats*

On Elias finding University what if in this universe that's why Jon never talked to Georgie after Uni

the-nottea-was-tentacles:

So, in canon my headcanon for that is that Georgie and Jon have very different ideas as to how their relationship ended. Georgie went into the breakup still caring a great deal about Jon but seeing that they just weren’t good as a couple but would have liked to remain friends with him. Jon however came out of the relationship blaming himself, as is usual for him.

In a Jonelias soulmate au where Elias finds him that early, I can see Elias using Jon’s own lack of self-esteem to separate Jon from any friends he had left. Well of course he shouldn’t try and get in contact with anyone, they all hated him anyway, they only let him hang around because they felt bad for him.

But Elias is here of course, and Jon is learning so much at the Institute, and when he shares his findings with Elias and Elias smiles proudly at him, well that means Jon is doing something right. Right?    

Also, I wonder if Jon in the soulmate AU where Elias found him in Uni, would end up with Jon having a Archiving degree, with Elias manipulations causing Jon to switch degrees.

i am openly laughing at elias 'rich rat bastard' bouchard showing up to one of jon's punk shows in an impeccable suit. no one knows what's going on until he makes out with jon near the makeshift bar.

tired-fandom-ndn:

He goes to every show that he can fit into his schedule and he always dresses ridiculously nice for them. He tries to order top-shelf scotch at seedy bars and from makeshift basement bars, then spends the whole show doing that awkward old white person supportive cheer. You know the one? Where he just stands at the edges of the crowd, bouncing a tiny bit in place and clapping politely? It gets him a lot of side-eyes.

He also likes to politely cheer for people when mosh pits start and offers his sympathies to the people who have to bow out of them.

And as soon as Jon is off the stage, Elias is pressing him against a wall or the bar or a shaky table that’s sticky with something and shoving his tongue down Jon’s throat and his hands down those ridiculously tight jeans. He actually loves how no one judges them for those open displays of affection, a very far cry from the Looks™ they get just for holding hands or giving each other pecks at Institute events or any other high society bullshit they have to attend.

jon-elias:

icebluecyanide:

Does Jon also call Elias every time he goes all ‘Ceaseless Watcher…’ to destroy entities? Like does Jonah sit in his panopticon enjoying the show or what

I’m absolutely certain he does

fluxoid:

Well, at least he tried.

tired-fandom-ndn:

Jonelias love triangle but instead of the third party being Martin or Peter or whoever, it’s Mr. Spider trying to lure The Mother’s lost child have to the Web where he belongs.

He let Jon walk away all those years because Jon was just a child and needed time to learn and grow in order to become a real Weaver. But now he’s fully grown and understands the world better than most and with the Beholding trying to lay a claim, it’s time for Mr. Spider to get him back.

Elias thinks he’s prepared to win this battle, but the Weavers don’t lose. No matter what the cost is.