I think about MAG 117 a lot. First of all, most insane Jon whimpers we were ever blessed with. But deeper than that, the way he talks and reasons with himself before burning Gerry’s page is one of the biggest reveals of just how much a part of Jon loves the power he has. And how much that terrifies him.

I could do that. I have the power to do that. But I won’t! I’m a good person. So I won’t. But…. But I could.

And I think about that mentality a lot with Jon. Not only does he have immense power but it actively hurts to not abuse it.

Which is why yes bottom submissive Jon is understandable in the sense of taking responsibility off his shoulders. However, in the context of his asexuality and his powers, the dynamic of “its alright. Use that power. I give you the permission to. Be in control for once and don’t feel guilty about it.” And Jon being a pathetic whiny mess but all he needs is just enough of a push and snap. He’s held back a LOT for years at this point. It all has to go somewhere doesn’t it? And theres an outlet for that? With someone he trusts?

I think Martin was recovering for weeks after succeeding to find that breaking point, and Jon was apologizing over and over of course, but they both knew he desperately needed it. And that Martin sought it out.