I think part of jon’s whole thing is like. he has such low self worth that at any given time he can’t tell the difference between rational and irrational guilt. he has a constant background noise of feeling like he should have already died on several occasions that he has to push past in order to just walk around and breathe air, so the guilt of forcing statements from people and hiding it from everyone feels identical and he can’t really tell that that’s a significantly worse thing to do than merely existing. he already feels like living is a morally dubious indulgence on his part so anything else that feels like that must be on a similar level of badness.