Back in whenever season 8 of Supernatural was airing. I had a. I suppose a ‘come to Jesus’ moment? I was spending most of my time here on tumblr scrolling and reading meta and blah blah blah and I got SO. ANGRY. At the amount of Sam-hate. From the show. From the fans. Etc. And it all came to a head when one Thursday night I got so angry for a good few moments I saw pink. Almost red. And I nearly passed out. When that happened I stepped outside of my room, paced the house, and then deleted and unfollowed anything I ever reblogged or blog I followed that had to do with Supernatural. The moment that happened I realized how much it took over and affected my life.

I’ve had the same feelings with regard to The Magnus Archives and Jon. Both due to the fans and the show. Multiple times. Yet for some reason. I cannot escape. I haven’t listened to the podcast in ages, and yet I still check in on blogs that I KNOW make me filled with rage. And I have no idea why. Cause I know it’s not healthy. And it’s not really the same? It’s not consuming my life. I do other things. I care and am involved in other things that aren’t fandom. I have friends. An actual life. Not like then. So it’s not as bad. It’s just. I don’t understand why I can’t move on, y’know? I don’t understand why I don’t WANT to move on. It’s not even that good a podcast ffs.

I don’t know. We have The Magnus Protocol next week. And I’m not holding my breath that Jon isn’t going to be the root cause of all the problems the new characters go through. I’d put money on it.