I find it funny the way Jon blames himself for the apocalypse. Cause essentially what happened is that Jonah put a nuke in his lunch and he blames himself for it.
Like, imagine you got a sandwich for lunch. You’ve been looking forward to eating this sandwich for so long, you haven’t had one in weeks. Your friend got it for you from a restaurant and you are so so excited.
It looks amazing, it smells amazing, you are so excited. Then, you go to take a bite and there’s a fucking nuke in it. It explodes and kills everyone around you, except for you. Then you blame yourself.
You didn’t put that nuke in it. You didn’t know there was one there. You were just trying to eat lunch.
It was the guy from that restaurant, he put a nuke in your sandwich! And it wasn’t even like he put it in a random sandwich and you just happened to get it. No, he put it specifically in your sandwich so when you try to eat your lunch it will explode.
And you know that he put the nuke in your sandwich. Cause he wrote you a note explaining to you exactly why and how he did it. He told you it was so it would explode and kill everyone, and he told you that he put it specifically in your sandwich. And he hid the note so you would only see it after you started eating, at which point it was already too lat.
And you still blame yourself. Even though you had no idea. How does that make sense?
Jon, it is not your fault there was a nuke in your sandwich
Excuse me waiter, there’s a nuke in my sandwich
^^^Ok but fr this is what Jon thinks he should have done
Hi op I hope you don’t mind me hopping onto your post but Jon’s guilt complex drives me up the wall insane and I love talking about him!!!!! So Jon realizes that he isn’t the one that put a nuke in his sandwich, right? But I think he feels like he should have known (or maybe even capital-K Known) to check. He’s gotta be kicking himself - just before fleeing to Scotland he found out that his evil boss is actually the literal evil founder of the literal evil institute - so it is a fundamental failing on his part that he did not check the sandwich coming from the said evil institute for a nuke. Yes, even though the sandwich did not appear to be from the newly revealed evil founder, even though he’s had hundreds of these sandwiches before and they’ve never caused harm, even though he literally had no reason to suspect that eating what seemed to be the same sandwich he’s been eating for years now was how his short time of reprieve was going to come to an end, not just for him but for literally everybody. He should have checked for a nuke anyways!! Even though they don’t belong in sandwiches!!
And to make matters worse, as @samwise1548 pointed out in their tags, Jon has benefited from the nuke going off and he’s well aware of it. For one, he was already spontaneously Knowing things before, and now that the whole world has ended and belongs to the Eye he’s gained full control over that ability. I wonder if he beats himself up over that, wonders what could have happened if he’d made himself try just a little bit harder to control all that Knowledge before the nuke went off. Forget what he’d said about feeling like opening that door would be like drowning - if Jon sees this situation as losing himself vs losing the whole world, I’m sure he feels like he should have just given up on his humanity, if there’s a chance that would have been enough to circumvent the nuke sandwich. So, would it have been enough? Is there an alternative where he was able to Know about the nuke early and get rid of the sandwich? Don’t know! But Jon is absolutely the type of guy to beat himself horribly up over “what-ifs.”
TLDR Jon thinks he should have checked his sandwich for a nuke even though the precedent set over the last few years had given him no reason to do so. But he didn’t, so in his eyes, he is just as responsible, if not moreso, than Jonah-Elias.