so I’ve been thinking,
one of the things that Gerry said fall under the domain of the Eye in MAG 111 is “the feeling that something, somewhere, is letting you suffer, just so it can watch” - but surely this goes for the reverse as well, which brings me to my main point:
I think that Jon’s specific personal hell in the eyepocalypse is this: being made to watch others suffer, unable to do anything substantial to help
like his formative traumatic experience with Mr Spider was much the same, even: he could only watch. (sidenote, this doesn’t negate his fear of manipulation and loss of agency, I think they intertwine because nothing is straightforward, but I’m focusing on one aspect here) all through the series, watching people in his nightmares - I don’t think he’s just a conduit that feeds others’ fear to the Eye, I think the Eye feeds on the fear and helplessness he feels when he’s made to watch as well. etc.
and then the eyepocalypse happens, and again, he can only watch as he’s trapped into reading the catalyst statement, and again, as he and Martin travel through the fearscape. e.g. the way making Jordan into a watcher doesn’t really help anyone. I’ve talked about how a main theme is “what do you do when the ability to make good choices is taken away from you” but I’ve never quite connected the way they can, at the end of the day, only watch others suffer to the Eye itself.