February 2025

Inspired by Martin not being canonically fat: AU (well, only AU to most of the fandom characterization) where Martin is a buff guy with an inferiority complex and Tim is the sexy fat guy with all the Charisma that gets everyone he wants because he simply is that charming

yknow what hell yeah I see the vision, and im so incredibly desperate for anything new in fanon anyway

I literally couldn’t give less of a fuck about you hating martin but please stop tagging your hate posts with the main character tag. you’re literally the embodiment of the meme

“omg I hateeeee blorbo bleepus he sucks so much #blorbo bleepus tag that fans of the character go through when they want content of said character”

which sucks so much because you seem like a decent guy otherwise. idk maybe I don’t know what im talking about but have a nice day

I obviously don’t do that on any posts where it’s actual hate towards him, I maintagged on my last post because it just… wasn’t hate. like there was nothing explicitly negative whatsoever about him there. i still used my negative tags because like sometimes people have them blocked because they don’t want to see my posts abt the characters at all. i mean i can take that out of my last post but it’s not something i do when I’m actually posting anything neg about the characters obviously


((pleaseeee don’t vaguepost if like there’s something I actually did wrong like i want to work w u here but I’ve kinda gotta do some guesswork because you’re not complaining about something i consistently do 🙏🙏))

do you like any women. at all. real or fictional it doesn’t matter but. you tou even acknowledge women’s existence.

what are you asking of me here please

Martin is the type of guy to post black and white pictures of himself with the caption "forever alone💔" "i just want somebody to hold💔💔 is it too much to ask for?" on valentines day

ughhh he so would and then he’d like make fake accounts to share the posts in the hopes people would see it and actually care

im working on a rewrite of sorts for tma because theres a good number of things that bother me about it, and right now im trying to come up with ideas to make martin an actual good and deep character that isnt like the most irritating thing ever you know? im curious if you have any ways youd want to do that? like if you could change him how would you do that?

people keep asking me stuff like this but I just…. I can’t think of any one quick change you could make to redeem him. like you could fundamentally change his character, but then that just wouldn’t be him. just scrap him as a concept. not needed 🙅‍♂️


make ANOTHER sasha. make them all sasha. one will be right.

Are there any characters similar to martin that you also hate? Not necessarily from tma, just in general

martinblackwoodhater:

Faulkner from TSV. love the podcast and tbf im only on like ep9, but anyone who says they’re “underestimated” will always kinda piss me off just a little bit - he’s the only one like Martin really that I can think off rn.

ALSO simon cowell. I keep leaving hate comments on his tiktok page.




Are there any characters similar to martin that you also hate? Not necessarily from tma, just in general

martinblackwoodhaterhater:

martinblackwoodhater:

martinblackwoodhater:

Faulkner from TSV. love the podcast and tbf im only on like ep9, but anyone who says they’re “underestimated” will always kinda piss me off just a little bit - he’s the only one like Martin really that I can think off rn.

ALSO simon cowell. I keep leaving hate comments on his tiktok page.




this is so obviously weird to everyone else, right? That may be a celebrity, but he’s also very much a real person.

…there is just no way you can’t see the irony here 😨

Okokok I'm the Martin Go To Therapy anon and YES you are so right you would tell him he's morally wrong and he'd be like stop gaslighting me.. stop... I have childhood trauma don't gaslight me :(

I guess I was trying to articulate if he went to therapy and could actually learn something useful? But he wouldn't, he'd cycle through therapists until he found someone to tell him he's not doing anything wrong.

and then he’d go back to being a godawful boyfriend 💔💔

i’m not a full time martin hater, i think all the characters are so good because of their flaws… but sometimes i find this blog again… and my inner wolf… it comes out… and it’s a hater…🐺🐺

there are two wolves inside you. let them hate 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

The more i look at your blog, the more i start to dislike Martin.

(Tbh i think the reason i liked him in the first place was that long before i even started Tma, i would see Jmart fanart and go "awwhh, they're so sweet together! :)")

that’s so real. jmart’s always more appealing when you’re like 14 and it’s your only real like widespread gay rep

It pisses me off so bad when people say how much they love martin and then turn around and hate on jon. Like babess those are both highly complex, flawed characters that undergo many developments throughout the story and you CANNOT form an opinion on them based solely on vibes plus the three episodes you actually bothered to pay attention to. This isnt heartstopper

but my blorbos 😧😧 but my cute gay blorbos 😢 and one is a scrunkly scrawny twink and the other is a fluffy fat man ☝️☝️ that is all you need to know. and the fat one is baby and he can never hurt anyone of course🥺. except when he does hurt people. but then he’s just cool and badass and sexy 💡💡

youre so sugoi sugoi sugoi kawaii desu~!!

i don’t know why you did this but ive been ignoring you because I don’t think you’re funny. i also ignore a lot of my other asks unintentionally though so I feel like I’ve gotta single these out a say that my ignoring of them was particularly intentional

as a martin liker I genuinely enjoy your blog. I think he should be bullied a little bit, as a treat. good for the ecosystem

literally me when biodiversity

Can u infodump about why u hate Martin blackwood please I'm so curious lol

Do u hate how he's written or like. Him as a character.

I don’t infodump. at most I evildumb, spreading strife and conflict. that is all.

Awe man just finished 79 and the beef between martin and tim was crazy

literally and it’s like omg could tim get any sexier ??

I totally understand disliking a character and having a interpretation totally different from what the majority of the fandom thinks of them and wanting to express that but engaging with that dislike anything for so many posts must get either anoying or sad.

I would like to understand what drives you to keep this account going for so long

Also i dont want to come of as condescenging or anything it just seems so different from how i go about engaging with media

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ it got old about 250 posts and 2 accounts ago but tbh I’ve got nothing else to say and I like the attention so I guess ive just kept dragging it to death 😨

MAG 170 has got to be your favorite then. Do you skip it when you relisten to tma or do you use it to fuel your rage?

skip. always feel just a little bad for him in that episode so it just demotivates me for a bit and then I’ve got nothing to believe in 💔

he still pisses me off in it tho tbh

did you bully theater kids in high school, or did you make this blog because you were too scared to and feel like you missed your chance?

I worked backstage in my school productions, it’s rlly cool I would recommend it 😋


also idk what highschool is (british) but I’m talking about secondary if that counts. will be doing the same when I go to 6th form tho

Please post more pookie

I’ve got nothing to say 💔💔

did you bully theater kids in high school, or did you make this blog because you were too scared to and feel like you missed your chance?

martinblackwoodhater:

I worked backstage in my school productions, it’s rlly cool I would recommend it 😋


also idk what highschool is (british) but I’m talking about secondary if that counts. will be doing the same when I go to 6th form tho

actually maybe I will start hating on theatre kids because I’ve gotta learn my silly little monologue for my drama gcse and it’s going AWFUL 😡😡

all due respect but i’ve blocked you like 3 times how the hell do I keep seeing your blog

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ not my problem. hate prevails ig

all due respect but i’ve blocked you like 3 times how the hell do I keep seeing your blog

martinblackwoodhater:

🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ not my problem. hate prevails ig

I know your game. “all due respect” doesn’t sound like it’s giving me much respect… i am not fooled 🙅‍♂️

6TH FORM?? YOU ARE SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN I PICTURED YOU AS

sorry xoxo

how old did you guys think I was 😨😨😨

23 ish? Godspeed dude

i am NOT 23 ☹️☹️☹️

im 16 😒😒

cunning-weasel:

I actually don’t get all the hate towards Jurgen Leitner.

Sure, the rant was funny for a while, but then it just got kinda boring. And the man himself? From what i understand he was some rich guy who thought scary human-eating mind-devouring booka were cool.

Sure, he collected them and labeled them as his - thats why people call them “leitners” obviously - and maybe he caused harm to a lot of his workers while trying to store them - but how does that make him any worse than, i dunno, every single character in the podcast?

He was a fool, he states so himself: he believed the books could be controlled, and he selfishly thought himself as the one who could control them. He believed he was doing good - gathering knowledge amd power, quote “like a reverse pandora’s box”, while turning a blind eve to the blatant evil - his assistant dying like flies and/or becoming deeply marked by the fears. He was too stupid to think about the possibility of there being supernatural phenomena other than the books themselves, and after his library came crashing down, even after he found out how actually dangerous the books were, he was damn too proud to even consider destroying the damn things!

But what makes people hate him so much? He was just a stupid, self-centered man - there’s plenty of those! Is it because he brought the books to London, therefore amplifying the supernatutal goings-on? Because other than that, i don’t get why anyone would want to waste so much of their energy hating him.

god forbid men have hobbies ig 🙄🙄

guys dont bully tumblr user martin blackwood hater they're a CHILD jesus fucking CHRIST that makes so much sense are you mentally okay? are you alright??

appreciate the sentiment (xoxo that’s the main thing) but why are you talking through me like this

((and don’t they me pls my pronouns are like the only thing actually on my account, can’t miss them 🙏🙏))

would you say martin falls under being a mary sue-esque character?

honestly? no, not in the typical way. it’s more that i think he HAS flaws, very clearly, but they’re always painted as endearing and pretty much harmless, even if they are genuine negatives (e.g. his like extreme weird jealousy over jon to the point of where he wants him to like kill ppl being treated as just like a silly quirky little gay love) (e.g. his inability to speak about anything and resorting to passive aggressive comments and ignoring people just being treated as either justified (and sometimes being perceived as the healthiest reaction to the circumstances in the writing just because it doesn’t lead to any direct conflict - though often the direct conflict is necessary)) (e.g. his hitting his boyfriend just… not really being bought up again as it’s difficult to justify that, though if it is it’s sometimes taken as like him ‘standing up for himself finally’ or something)


this is a way to portray his character as sympathisable (through him being self-hating and his awful self esteem or whatever), while not giving him obvious flaws that will actually make him dislikable as a character. this is because in this way, the people can relate to him and take solace in the fact none of their negative qualities are actually particularly negative.


he just does that thing where he has genuine reasons to change, but instead writes them off as his poor self esteem and wallows in that pity, rather than focusing on being just a better person, if that makes sense.


((sorry for going off track here oops!!))

Sorry to bother you but there's this little thing that's been pissing me off:

Not really the behaviour of a loving, caring partner, now is it?

you could never bother me don’t be silly


and ughhh you’re so right, martin be nice to his boyfriend challenge: Level impossible apparently. he has such a weird superiority feeling thing over Jon in s5 and it’s just like ?? ,what??

trying to get some fanart done but I’m actually like genuinely afraid of what I’ve created here

how do we feel about this one gang… not sure how to save it tbh

6, 9, 10, 25 ?

itchyeye:

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

jonmartin

9. worst part of canon

jonmartin

10. worst part of fanon

jonmartin

25. common fandom complaint that you’re sick of hearing

anything about jon being too mean to martin because he 100% should have killed him with a bolt gun

choose violence ask game

martinblackwoodhater:

how do we feel about this one gang… not sure how to save it tbh

which do we like best idkkkk

🐗

first option’s eyes + mouth

first option’s eyes + second option’s mouth

second option’s eyes + mouth

second option’s eyes + first option’s mouth

See Results

me when i think a character should be perfect and unflawed even though they’re literally walking through the end of the world and also they’ve lost nearly everyone they’ve ever loved to evil… god forbid a character is written well and realistically in the awful scenario they’re in

delete your tumblr forever and go take a walk

love you guys fr but omg like just get your own account atp 😨😨

Helen x Nikola x Jane. You agree.

I agree. they would make the most sinister yuri…..

Martin is so "2020 teenager on discord" coded. He would LOVE that era its a shame he never got to see it.

He'd draw those awful stick figures in bunny hats and show fresh sh scars to strangers on the internet. He'd also have a mile long dni/trigger list and start arguments daily.

He also would name himself Arson. Or actually it would be Arachnid and he would attack people named Arson claiming hes afraid of fire and seeing the name gives him a panic attack

god you’re so right I can just see it in my soul. he would have like this ed and then tell all his friends exactly how few calories he’s eating and then start venting abt how he’s gonna khs if they tell him to stop

martin blackwood the type of guy to own a vent notebook.

and after hes done writing he would purposefully drop water on the pages so it looks like he cried on them

yayayaya and he’d post like “vent notebook tour…🥀” on tiktok and make rlly ‘cryptic’ comments about how sad he is and be like… heh… it’s a cry for help guys 🥺☝️

Every once in a while I'll go on the internet to look at tma stuff, and every single time i happpen to mention not liking martin one of his fans will go "uhm... i dont know what to think.... im in enemy territory...... idk how to talk to you......" baby im gonna hold your hand when i say this but people are allowed to have different opinions. Im not gonna start biting just because you disagree with me

they act like it’s SUCH a radical take?? it’s like… babe you’re not the victim here no-one cares about your stale overdone takes that are just you projecting onto him?

Every martin kinnie in existence had to be an emotionally unstable alt kid at some point/neg

speak your truth xoxo loud and clear you’re so right

re-kairos:

what would fix jmart in Somewhere Else is breaking up and forgetting the other exists 🥰

dr-fanshawe:

in the same way as positioning jm as a healthy and happy couple is annoying, claiming they’re a pinnacle of “toxic yaoi” or whatever is annoying. no, they’re not. they’re simply not that interesting

if we’re throwing trans men in the gulag too we should probably separate them from the cis men. Cause Yk. Cis men can be very creepy towards trans men, and won’t view them as men.

Also punishment for transphobia should be hanging cis men by their balls

hymen-restoration-project:

If they’re men then they go with the men. No separation. I don’t give handouts. I don’t vore.

No actually what is your issue with him I don’t get it

mostly just think he’s annoying and I don’t like that he’s abusive to his bf. that’s the summary and the rest is just waffle

Seems y’all just mischaracterise Martin then get mad at the mischaracterisations YOU made of him.

yeah why are you acting like that’s a revelation I knew that already


((I do also dislike him for plenty of canon stuff tho))

I wish Martin became a web avatar tbh... he should've been evil .....

boring take that I don’t really agree with but I think if you’re on my side then hell yeah whatever you can do whatever you want ig

Is jonelias not FAR more toxic than jonmartin?

elias-rights:

I’m critiquing a story, not giving romantic advice to my real-life friend who works in an archive and is being manipulated into ending the world. Toxic intimacy is a common feature of dark, gothic literary relationships that we’re drawn to because of how romantic (as in idealised, remote, and dictated entirely by turbulent subjectivity) they are. With Jonmartin, there’s no intimacy, toxic or otherwise. My problem with Jonmartin isn’t just that it’s toxic; it’s that it’s (1) toxic in a tediously mundane way and (2) rewarded by the narrative.

Kissing someone who conspired to unwillingly turn you into a god and stripped you of your autonomy just to hand you power is a scenario that is both thematically juicy and enticing in its lack of mundanity. Staying with your whiny, manipulative boyfriend who doesn’t even see you for who you are is a Hallmark Christmas movie.

I don’t ship jonelias but y'all are always so right omg

WHAT is bro doing… 😨

((little wip testing out new brushes. might finish at some point xoxo))