July 2025

traitstoney:

im gonna staayy with yoooouuu !!

cunning-weasel:

i love inhaling harmful chemicals ♡ #mychemicals

me when im jekyll and hyde posting

unpeeled-human:

capacity2:

Okay but seriously… China gagged the whole world with this everybody else just pack it up it’s over

im sorry this is absolutely comical this is the type of shit some villain of shadow would say before being brought over to the good side

“light, shining in the darkness…? hah! preposterous”

despazito:

Their smiles…it’s actually making me sad

fanart i did of multiple boars mauling martin blackwood

alightcaseofohno:

Love the rise of anti-jmart in the fandom. GO HATERS GO!

i like feeling potentially somewhat slightly responsible for this

urproblematicfav-arsonk:

Been thinking about a rant post I wanna make.

Anyway, for ppl who’ve listen to tma: Did the fandoms general reaction to Jon and Martin’s relationship in s5 being “omg cute boyfriends!!” “omg love conquers all, I bet they’re kissing in a new universe together forever!!” When the relationship is textbook emotional and domestic abuse that borders on being actual torture, ick anyone out as much as it did me??

jmart sucks lmao

yes

no

See Results

I literally was so uncomfortable and grossed out by how many people just…view s5 as cute and not a severely mentally ill man being isolated, abused by the one person he thought he could trust, and then having his only autonomy being taken away from him. Like. Did. Did we listen to the same podcast? Why….why is this cute? Martin called Jon a monster for “"enjoying”“ the torture he was going through, while also throwing fits when Jon didn’t use his monster powers to kill people whenever he wanted. Like. Like thats not cute? Thats abuse? That’s really upsetting abuse?

I was originally fine with it, cuz it’s a horror podcast, but after the finale and Jonny’s Q&A stuff I was like oh noooooo,,,,, this was supposed to be cute, Jonny what the fuck man. Luckily he’s an firm believer in death of the author so Jonny is dead and jondaisy is actually canon fuck you.

I feel like I would’ve stayed in the tma fandom longer but I fucking despise jmart so goddamn bad that I basically hated 90% of fic/fanart. Also someone yelled at me on anon for trying to say this before lmao

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

This still kills me. Why would he say that

MAG 174 “The Great Beast

MAG 166 “The Worms”

I thought yall said Martin was a caring and compassionate partner to Jon. Ok so what’s this then. Where’s the kindness and compassion. Did he not have even an ounce of empathy to spare

But noo guys it’s okay cause it was implied that they kissed right after!! The only parts that count are the few explicitly romantic gestures right???

Making art about Martin dying just feels like a step too far... like are you getting off on it or something? We need to regulate the freaks on this app I fear.

what if i was. what would you do about it.

You can tell the people insulting you like martin bc they talk like him... calling you names in a roundabout way so that you cant really call them out because they never SAID it..... who cares if something is implied?? Who cares if the subtext is screaming in your face? My pookie martin is innocent cause the narrative never stated he was an ass!

love pissing off martin kinnies because they like to fetishize their own self esteem issues so much that it just feels like “heh… guess i deserve it :)” except they’re often too mad to say that so i appreciate the mental gymnastics they have to do #ragebaiting #iamevil


also im sure you’re right here but ive got no idea what post youre like vaguing about. still sounds like something that would happen tho

You can tell the people insulting you like martin bc they talk like him... calling you names in a roundabout way so that you cant really call them out because they never SAID it..... who cares if something is implied?? Who cares if the subtext is screaming in your face? My pookie martin is innocent cause the narrative never stated he was an ass!

martinblackwoodhater:

love pissing off martin kinnies because they like to fetishize their own self esteem issues so much that it just feels like “heh… guess i deserve it :)” except they’re often too mad to say that so i appreciate the mental gymnastics they have to do #ragebaiting #iamevil


also im sure you’re right here but ive got no idea what post youre like vaguing about. still sounds like something that would happen tho

omg fr actually. pretty proud of the fact that all my haters reveal themselves to be absolute fucking losers in ways that i wasn’t even originally aware of. the martin kinnies curse.

lifryxai:

thepinkpestilence:

i hate it when you follow a cool blog and then they reblog out of nowhere a post with “i wish all men could kill themselves lol”. like. nah.

fhredreic:

I think about this “anti-smoking” add a bit too often.

OMG HI WE'RE MUTUALS ON MY OTHER ACCOUNT (alightcaseofohno). FELLOW MARTIN BLACKWOOD HATER 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

rah rah xoxo

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

Martin Blackwood isn’t “sunshine coded” he is a FRAUD

boyfromrehab:

also like another thing i don’t like about martin is that he isn’t even sexy. like what the hell.

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

martinblackwoodhater:

also like another thing i don’t like about martin is that he isn’t even sexy. like what the hell.

Real!!! He did not have ONE kickass moment. Not even when he was alone with Anabelle. “I don’t like youuu” ok big baby

that whiney cunt fr

kairos-polaris:

the reason lonelyeyes are divorcees and not just in an on and off relationship is because fanom Elias is a flamboyant drama queen and “I want a divorce”/getting remarried is more dramatic than “let’s break up”/getting back together. which is why I hate it because Elias is NOT dramatic nor would he overreact like this

i don’t even ship lonelyeyes ill be so real with you. the fun police is here guys. (me)

martin the kinda guy to go “erm… im literally neurodivergent and a minor?? ☝️” anytime he doesn’t get his way despite being neither neurodivergent nor a minor

i think the two martins should’ve fucked and then destroyed eachother and maybe it would’ve righted the universe or at least i wouldn’t have to hear them any more

Lets cannibalise Martin together 🫵

erm you might be on your own with this one. rooting for you tho

kairos-polaris:

I can’t believe I just saw lonelyeyes using the traffic system. AND Jonah was submissive. that’s two strikes at once!

they would NOT fucking do that both of those geezers would be inventing sex loopholes we don’t even know about

cherryfleischer:

if I was an american I’d be a redneck somewhere in texas and have a fat as fuck truck and a hot blonde wife and very high cholesterol

cherryfleischer:

our mutual status is questionable and also why is this the third time we've been mutuals

anyways haaaiiiii alexander j newall :3

martinkblackwoodhater:

1: youre so right and also sorry im REALLY bad at remembering my emails

2: through weeks of trial and error ive finally managed to remember my email for the ORIGINAL (third account for) martinblackwoodhater and if all goes well this blog will no longer be needed as i will be back on main #huzzah


3: you are the Only person ever allowed to call me that just to set a precedent

im back gang ‼️‼️‼️

You should rewrite the ‘i hate jurgen leitner’ rant but with martin

that would go so hard if i was unfunny and brainrotted

connecting some dots

archivalspecialist:

ok i will be honest and keep in mind i often do hold the haters spirit as pretentious as i am but i do not care for jonmartin myself as it presents in canon, which is to say i do not think it is compelling. i dont think they ever built up the structure *in the story itself* for their relationship, and instead relied too heavily on the preconceptions of the fan base at the time. like, by banking off the fact that people already shipped them, they failed to add substance themselves within the story to support the idea that these two characters would be romantically involved. because, ultimately, by the time the relationship is suddenly established — it’s just like. oh okay. well. you didn’t build up to this essentially at all and these characters, independently and within the pure context of the story, have no real chemistry. like ok we got martin crushing on jon. but it was never really reciprocated. and then suddenly, they’re boyfriends…! like ok. well i simply do not care. you didn’t make me care. you relied on the idea that i already cared. which is not a strong writing choice toooo be honest like as the writer it is your job to convince me to care by adding elements to your story that preclude and support a given development. which makes season 5 so so so so uninteresting imo. boyfriends with no chemistry trot through the fear-wasteland. and then the individual plots of the episodes aren’t even as interesting as the prior seasons. sigh.

this is also what bothers me with fan portrayals of jonmartin, have it be in fanfiction, fanart, or analysis…. like the way they are characterized and discussed by fans is often so radically divorced from their in-podcast interactions and characterization that it’s nearly incomprehensible as the same thing. they’re not all cutesy and loving. martin strikes jon in-show and is wholly intolerant of his avatarhood, a major aspect of his self, because he sees it as fully contradictory to jon’s humanity. YET he regularly uses jon as an attack dog, or at the least goads him towards the role — taking advantage of his status as an avatar. like, if you enjoy jonmartin, why ignore this? these are interesting scraps of development that the two have, and some of the only development the two have. low keyyyyyy. and these pieces were NOT even acknowledged to their full extent in-show, which is another reason i find the canon of them uninteresting. it was as if there was no confidence in the writing room for these elements to be explored, despite their existence and explicitness. they had no consequence, or were exempt from consequence.

i also don’t like how wishy-washy the team was when commenting on jon and martins relationship and jon’s sexuality in their talk episode. like girl we can telllll you weren’t committed to it even without you saying it’s ’up to interpretation’ or whatever. just a bit cowardly imo. either have a romance between the two, or don’t. you can also really tell here (in s5) that they didn’t like the characters they were playing. which sucks!

but ultimately, the canon of jonmartin is one thing (underdeveloped) and the fanon is another (detached, disappointing in its own right). and it sucks because it could have been good if handled appropriately and with better characterization and dynamics, and better…. writing? relevancy? jon and martin being boyfriends could be excluded from the plot and not only would there be no major overall impact, it would be better overall as far as cohesiveness of character and plot direction goes. sighs. like, even if they wanted to keep the romance element in their horror podcast, something which they originally didn’t even want to have iirc, they could have set up ANYONE ELSE. grabs you. why jon and martin? and don’t answer with fanon interpretation. realistically the more logical and thematically interesting choice would have been jon & jonah/elias but i digress. rips my eyes outttttt

anyway to dispel anyone who might just box this as overt no-nuance haterism, i think it should be said that i am so deeply critical of tma because i loveeeeeee it its my favorite podcast. i love to rip apart my shows. im like a dachshund with their favorite toy. i believe in all of the things i said though do not get it twisted. i am a hater. i loathe my show. but i love my show. ok? duality and nuance? ok. 🌈☮️🌻

sunshine-1722:

I’ve now met Martin and how DARE Jonathan be mean to this adorable person??? LEAVE MARTIN ALONE MY GOD

don’t worry he [martin] will change

why didn’t everyone make tim fat rather than martin he’s so clearly the obvious choice. martin would hide and disintegrate into air at the slightest opportunity there is no substance on him. tim however……

I mean, isn't the reason everyone draws Martin as fat because that's how he's described in canon? TMA is pretty light on character descriptors so when Martin describes himself as "not exactly the smallest guy in the world" it stands out as noticable.

? he could just be a little tall. like he just describes that it’s kinda hard for him to fit through a little window, which doesn’t really describe anything other than the way he sees himself. sort of just shows he’s an adult man

I mean, isn't the reason everyone draws Martin as fat because that's how he's described in canon? TMA is pretty light on character descriptors so when Martin describes himself as "not exactly the smallest guy in the world" it stands out as noticable.

shuffleing:

martinblackwoodhater:

? he could just be a little tall. like he just describes that it’s kinda hard for him to fit through a little window, which doesn’t really describe anything other than the way he sees himself. sort of just shows he’s an adult man

he was also described by not-sasha as “positively roomy” and “very comfortable” alluding to at minimum chubbiness

don’t remember exactly the context of that but i feel like that could also allude to his personality or demeanor too right? like i would describe someone like that if they had the right kinda persona regardless of their weight, especially the “comfortable” thing. this isn’t a hill i intended to die on and this surely cannot be my most controversial take because it’s one i really don’t care about. but like i just hate the standardized enforced fanon designs as a concept

why does he call himself pocketdeerboy if he’s a fully grown man who would not fit in anyone’s pocket. grow up and get a job buddy you are not ‘just a silly little guy’ you pay taxes

lowkey tho can martin actually do anything…? why do they keep that bitch around 😨

Hi. Do you participate in artfight

martinblackwoodhater:

i don’t know what that is im sorry 💔

update follow me if you want yall 🔥

You got zero ocs man 💔

been busy 🙄🙄 ill do it next year ✊

Just don’t interact with the fandom if you hate it so much??

i don’t?

daryldixonn:

some of you have never had your notp be the most popular ship in the fandom and it shows

You got zero ocs man 💔

martinblackwoodhater:

been busy 🙄🙄 ill do it next year ✊

i have ocs on there now gang never fear ‼️

Do you have an outfit for your hyena boy? I wanna try doing a fullbody

just added these two as examples but like i could see him in absolutely anything you put him in, so feel free to give absolutely whatever you want as an outfit (appropriate to his age obvs). does need any specific colour scheme and doesn’t need to keep his little poncho thing i just kept that because im lazy - you can give him jewellery or any accessories too ofc, and also change his tail/ears or give them little accessories if you want to do anything like that!!


(if you send an attack then like make sure to send your tumblr with it if you want so we can be mutuals if we aren’t already like I’ll literally love you forever xoxo)

boospooky78:

I am making myself sad over my own oc lore. pop of Martin

martin you say 😨⁉️

kairos-polaris:

I don’t believe in martin’s love because I love people like that and this type of feeling does NOT survive collision with reality. you still love that person. you think you don’t have expectations but you do and them going against those expectations breeds resentment and contempt. you have an idea of how your relationship is supposed to be and when it’s not that you get upset! and you know it’s unreasonable so you just let the yourself rot! it doesn’t work out!

is this martin blackwood hate please

I know this does not matter in the slightest but why are both the ocs you put on artfight named eli

all my ocs are called that. except for arthur.

Whats deer Eli's outfit

i usually give him a more like medieval/fantasy style but like completely up to you im not fussed on outfits!

id say that with the dryads at least id usually think of him as wearing those like robes (like in his reference image) that are all one sheet of fabric just like draped differently - something like that (if he’s clothed at all), either just like around his waist or something more elaborate. id imagine quite like simple clothing there and i don’t consider it the kind of culture to use dyes for clothing if they don’t serve an actual purpose, so probably neutral colours (natural fabric colours like white or beige or whatever, or maybe brown as that pigment would be plentiful and would at least show dirt less)


then post-dryad it’s really a lot more up to you!! i still see him in that fantasy style but like depending on how much he’s willing to get away from his teachings i could see him in anything from like a simple like classic dnd-style white shirt and brown trousers to like some idk red ailk dress with sparkles or something as an example. its really up to you and how you want to portray him, but just a couple ideas there if that helps 😋😋

always up for any questions tho especially about my Eli’s xoxo thank you all

martinkblackwoodhater:

rip martin blackwood you would’ve loved therapyspeak

kairos-polaris:

he is not stupid!!! he is not stupid!!! he is not stupid!! he is not stu- *gets dragged away kicking and screaming*

screenshot of textpost that reads yelling my headcanons into the void hoping someone hears part 8: (I'm relistening to tma currently) Elias would have a MAGA shirt thinking it stands for "Magnus Archives Greatly Appreciated" ALT

The thing about jmart that gets me is that Jon has been treated so horribly by everyone around him (with a couple exceptions) in season four, is constantly told that he’s a horrible monster for eating people’s fears despite being forced into the whole thing and Martin, the person who is supposed to love and care for him… treats him exactly the same. Calls all avatars evil and horrible to Mr “i am an avatar grappling with my humanity”’s face without even a scrap of nuance and we are still meant to believe that they are a sweet couple and ohhhhh how tragiccccc that they have to stab each other. Like. At least when Basira or Melanie did something they weren’t Jon’s romantic partner.

I know omg like Martin just acts like everyone else does and for some reason he doesn’t get any shit for it when he does it? it’s all kinnies not wanting to think critically about the character that they’ve been using as their like self-insert i swear 🥀🥀

never watched whatever martin blackwood is from and looking at your blog imagining he's just some guy in like. a workplace drama or something

he’s in breaking bad so i guess you’re not far off. but the workplace is a meth lab and the drama is killing