profitvoncapitalism:

zajebrombiscie:

Bro this game is so easy, I can’t believe Elon Musk had to hire a professional gamer to play it for him. What a loser

For this reason, I know I will be able to inherit all of Elon’s wealth. I will lure him into a false sense of security, become his right hand man, the defacto expert on all things “Pou.” I will tell him how to take care of my kin, but never enough to leave him satisfied. He will always ask for more. His love for space and the curiousity that I have bred within his mind will make him yearn to see my home planet, given his “passion” for the “cosmos.” I will take him there, and, even if I didn’t plan to abandon him, the power of their hivemind will be enough to incapacitate him, as he dies cold and alone on the planet’s surface. I will leave him there. I’ll tell them he simply wasn’t ready to handle the harsh environment of my home. They’ll understand. And I need not worry about criminal charges, as my ten years of service and place as his companion in his later years of life may as well have written my name in his Will & Testament itself. Of course, his now budding rivalry with the Trump will make me the perfect opponent, and with all of the money I may expend on campaign efforts, I will be sure to win. Yes…. 👍