March 2025

"Season 5 Martin is so badass" wrong! He's just an ass 😋

truth!! and he’s not even interesting 🙄🙄

Insane that a Martin fan got mad at you for hating a character widely headcanoned as trans when it's the people who headcanon him doing the most harm 💔

"Omgg this man is shy and stuttering and he has an awkward crush on his boss! He's such a sweetie who can do no wrong! He's transmasc for sure!" You don't see how that might be playing into a harmful stereotype? It's the "trans men are cute little boys" thing all over again. Be for real 🙏

omg so true like i don’t think it’s really my ((cis)) place to correct (presumably) trans ppl on that but also like… eh?? come again? 😨

people taking this blog so seriously would be hilarious if they all didn’t have the same three recycled jokes. every day i mourn this fandom peaking in 2020/21 and that era of jokes sticking with the fandom. what the fuck do you mean “martin’s a cinnamon roll” it is 2025 CAN THEY GET A JOB😭🙏🙏🙏 THE SHOWER IS CALLING THEIR NAME BRO😭😭😭

anyways as a fellow hater i thought you might understand my disdain for it all have a good day

ugh so trueeee like ya sure hahaha cute apocalypse gays but also like oh my GOD grow uppp 🙄🙄🙄

Thoughts on the teeth apple of MAG 34?

was i meant to have any thoughts on that… ? 😨

i mean it was just kinda like whatever yknow it was a fun little prop they added i guess but also like it was only mentioned once was i supposed to form an opinion on it at all? idk i guess it was a sweet gesture 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

also actually like litterally why is fanon martin a fucking uwu mashmallow baby when we never see him be nice to anyone really 😭 'martins so kind and loving' when??? to who??? by making tea??? babe thats the basic british hosting instinct hes still a rude cunt

literally oh my godddd like yeah ok he makes tea for people ?? ok? i make tea for my mum too doesn’t mean i like her it’s just the polite thing to do 😨

like literally you’re so right we get TOLD martin’s a sweetheart cutiepie or whatever but like ?? Is he ever actually nice? … like at all?

Martin would be a better character is he was a monsterfucker/hj

hmm no i don’t think that’s true actually but thank you for trying i suppose

People sending you hateful anons use the argument that you make up things to het mad at martin for when in reality most martin fans have this idealized version of him in their head that is actually made from projecting. They say you dont know him but they dont know him either!! That man is not the cute softie you think he is bffr

literally omg. also like… ya he’s not real. he IS made up??

I’m going to quote my dad talking about S1 Martin because I agree “he’s just a pathetic blubbering mess”

ugh i want your dad he’s so real

currently listening to s5 (last episode I listened to was 169) and...? wtf...???? why is martin highkey an asshole I'm sorry but your boyfriend is battling with a tragic loss/guilt/mourning for a world that he killed and you're all trapped in its rotting corpse/GUILT and you're just??? telling him to fucking MAN UP??? wtf is wrong with you oml

also notice how when Helen says "such devotion; you really don't deserve it. But of course, you already know that! :)" line, martin offers NO COMFORT AT ALL/WHATSOEVER. NO "it's rotten work/not to me, not if it's you" JUST. SILENCE. WTF

and THEN instead of helping his bf out with the fact that he's slowly losing his sense of humanity and literally just KILLED someone and is ASHAMED of it he encourages him? despite probably knowing that that's unhealthy and can/will have a detrimental effect on his wellbeing? and then he has the fucking audacity to constantly sound like he's the victim here - I don't even know how he does it, he's just CONTANTLY FUCK WHINING about whatever bullshit minor inconvenience he encounters.

I'm so fucking sick of this this is not okay. That + the fact he's never actually been nice? past maybe, what s1? if ever? like sure he was a cute character at first, endearing, but he's just a fucking asshole if I'm completely honest.

anyway do with this what you will. Not a big fan of martin and the turn his character has taken s4-5. also the fetishisation of said turn - "murder knife man who will hurt those who wronged his bf 💕" NO bbg he's just being a complete fucking BASTARD who isn't there to support his bf and is instead indulging in his own little victim complex. there is nothing sexy about being a bad boyfriend and inciting your partner to murder (even if it will probably ruin them) + also being jealous while you're at it like girl. girl no

yeah this is a lot. thoughts?

omg literally like there is a line between ‘speaking up for yourself’ and just genuinely being like outright a bad person and martin has like fully spat on that line and torn it out of the ground. like people are so willing to overlook genuinely toxic and abusive behaviours from martin just so they can force it into their little “cute apocalypse gays 😜🥰” traits and project their own 'self hatred’ and 'mommy issues’ onto him.

and obviously there’s nothing wrong with portraying unhealthy gay relationships in fiction, in fact it’s good to have that scope of representation obviously if it’s done well, but the problem is that any problems in their relationship are just largely overlooked by the writing and pretty much completely overlooked by the fandom.

martins so very aggressive and pushy etc to his mourning boyfriend, but when the time comes where he could actually put that drive at all to defending or comforting the man he loves in any capacity whatsoever, he just doesn’t, and it’s such a weird choice to make for him??

like this is what’s supposed to be his boyfriend and the only person he really has left in the world being told that he doesn’t actually deserve love or whatever, and only feeding into Jon’s own internal conflict ((mostly over loss of his own humanity which also i NEED to talk about how martin is awful and absolutely fuels that for him but that’s a tangent for another day)) and just why WOULDN’T he say anything against that.

like that’s not even the thing that a good partner/friend would need to step in on or at least comfort him on after, that’s just the sort of thing that any decent acquaintance or person whatsoever should at least say SOMETHING to, and to have just nothing in response from martin is absolutely a weird decision.

Martin kinnies that romanticise his actions sound like they just want to be mean to people with no consequences

omg literally you’re just so right

Weird as hell that mister "i guess im good at telling people what they want to hear" blackwood decides to be bluntly honest in moments during which pointing out the truth is straight up needless and cruel. Yeah man its a great idea to tell jon hes a monster while hes metaphorically wrestling with his avatarhood! What a discovery! Im sure that helped his self esteem a lot! You are soooo supportive!

omg literally like it’s just… not necessary?? like why’s he being so mean :(

Martin fans will say "i love martin bc hes so complex and loving and kind and such a great portrayal of depression and he deserves to fight for himself, hes so right in s5" and "i relate to him" in the same breath. Like baby im not an expert but i think something is clouding your judgment here

they never even KNOW his character they always just project onto him and it’s like… ok get it mischaracterisation ig??

Crazy that a lot of martin fans relate to him because hes depressed but no one thinks of jon in that way despite him going through even worse shit

it’s because they’ve all got mommy issues (because obviously they do because everyone in the world does 🙄🙄)

as your local martin lover, God you terrify me. (i mean this in a positive way, You bring up alot of point about his character that i may disagree or agree with thats fun to think about)

ok buddy 10 million nukes at your door right now

i think martin is a liar and kind of manipulative whether he means to be or not. he has crazy low self esteem and he really cares what ppl think about him. um. maybe more headcannon but i think hes petty and a bit of a gossiper anduh. he's a good character! he's kind and such a pathetic wet cat and i hate to love him :/ i wish he was even more web-aligned in the show

i don’t like your interpretation of him why did you send me this also why do you sound so nervous what happened are you okay

i love scrolling your blog, its like a little treat because i can indulge in being a martin disliker without being burned at the stake.

drew martin being burned at the stake to avenge you

why /fr

i answer this all the time man so i’ll just tell you biggest thing is that he hits his boyfriend when there’s literally no reason or excuse (mag175 i made a post abt it ages ago) and he’s also just generally mean and hypocritical especially to Jon

I just know he writes the most BORING poetry ever. Like I am if the opinion that there is no way to make bad art but for him I know deep in my BONES that he writes the shitiest poem ever posts it on his tumblr account and acts so insufferable about it. I also know that he’s the type of person to make the atmosphere toxic when he’s upset and sigh and slam shit around but when anyone asks he’d say he’s fine and be upset when no one tries to comfort him after or he’d be like “oh I’m fine I just wish SOMEBODY wouldn’t do ___” and be so passive aggressive. Sorry for rambling I just hate him so much and I feel like this is the only place I won’t get nuked for calling him a bitch

ugh you’re SO right he’d be like a full on william mcgonagall type poet like it’d be BAD

By constantly reminding Jon that he's a monster, Martin is actually causing him to get worse. And it's so odd??

Since he loved Jon when he was human, you'd think that he would do everything in his power to try and help the man to return to his old self. But he purposely makes Jon worse by belittling him.

He uses Jon to feel better about himself - Jon's an avatar almost fully consumed by the Power, and he's an avatar only halfway. By reminding Jon how far he's gone he also simultaneously highlights that he's the more human one out of the two of them.

Even when he makes use of Jon's abilities, it's purely for his own gain. The killing spree? His idea. The people he wanted Jon to kill were people he had a personal grudge against. But he suddenly does a 180 and acts like it was Jon's thing when they're in Jude Perry's domain, because he doesn't have anything personal against her, and so suddenly it's Jon who has to decide.

Martin's selfish. And selfishness is not a foundation for a healthy relationship. It isn't even a foundation for an interesting relationship! He acts like a toxic parent!

truth truth truth like king im sorry you had a somewhat shit mother but like oh my godddd so did everyone else and they weren’t SO insufferable 🙄🙄

also him acting like his mother and that being the reason his relationship is awful i begrudgingly admit could make him more defendable but the problem is that just literally is not written into the podcast like at all? like whatsoever?? and it just feels like such an odd choice because saying it out loud like yeah that’s so obvious

This is completely unimportant and maybe even annoying but i wanted to share a little story with u

Today I stumbled upon a tiktok video of someone headcanoning Martin as Danish. I thought it was nice, presumably somebody slapping their own nationality onto a character that they like. And i commented on the video with my own headcanon, for Jon this time, bc i do have a little self-indulgent and frankly unrealistic headcanon of his nationality that i rotate in my mind for fun.

And the user commented "isn't he south asian tho...?" And it KILLED ME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN? The podcast character? Voiced by a white Brit?

They said sorry, and it's not like i hold a grudge against them or whatever. But it was SO WEIRD? I was speechless for a minute

tma fans when not everyone has exactly the same interpretation of characters and doesn’t follow the biblical level enforced fanon 😨‼️

Pleeease this is killing me

"Ooh Martin's so smart and cunning" and yet he thinks like a ten year old! He found out the world is infested with supernatural phenomena and instead of trying to understand how it works he went "oh, they're evil and murderous. Got it" and didn't think about it for a second longer.

And because of that he treats his boyfriend like shit and thinks its the morally correct thing to do. He's an avatar now, so he's evil, obviously. I know it's not your fault, Jon, but could you keep it down? Could you stop making statements? They upset me, i don't want to hear them. Yeah, i know that you need to, but just keep it to yourself. Don't try to get me involved in any Fear-related business, i don't want anything to do with it. What do you mean you enjoyed the killing that i forced you to do? That's not okay. You're a monster. You will always be a monster. And I will never let you forget that.

But noo haha they are so in love you guuuys!!! Cute apocalyptic gays!! Martin is soooo a monsterfucker, he wants Jon so bad!!! He obviously thinks obliterating people with your mind is sexy!! He's not repulsed by Jon at all!!

ARGHHH monsterfucker!martin truthers are the WORST!!! they’re the bane of my life (alongside martin kinnies) because also like they always think they’re morally superior somehow for this opinion?? they’re always like “heh… at least in not one of those uwu baby martin kinnies ☝️😎” and it’s like… ok but like not only are you more annoying but you’re also EQUALLY mischaracterising ‼️‼️

Trans masc here:

I support this blog!!

I don’t feel like hating Martin is in any way shape or form discriminating transgender masculine people!

ok but I’m evil 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

heyx as a transmasc person, people who headcanon Martin as transmasc are awful. I've been called transphobic multiple times over this. and the amount of people who act like he's transmasc because he cared for his mum, so clearly he can't be a cis guy? awful.

can’t weigh in on this (cis) but if you’re a martin hater im sure you’re so right never let the haters get u down king ‼️‼️

be more evil.

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

How? Do you want me to torture Martin in increasingly cartoonish ways? Throw rotten tomatoes at his fans? What are my options here. Help me out boss you’re the experienced one

you know i do. this is us look

be inspired by that

Martin Blackwood would be a "her PRONOUNS are HE/HIM" ""ally"".

why are there so many trans guys on my blog now. get it ig maybe i needed some more evil henchmen

as your local martin lover, God you terrify me. (i mean this in a positive way, You bring up alot of point about his character that i may disagree or agree with thats fun to think about)

myadiah:

martinblackwoodhater:

ok buddy 10 million nukes at your door right now

this response feels a bit violent

i for one love that these are thought-provoking

ok buddy 100 million thought-provoking nukes at your door right now

jmart fans are so annoying cuz you literally cannot discuss any part of the series w them without them being like "but omg MARTIN <3" every ten seconds like bro i just wanna talk about how cool some of the concepts in the show are what does this absolute buffoon piece of shittington got to do with anything ;-;

literally so true like ya sure lets all accommodate the most BORING part of the podcast in every single discussion 🙄🙄

hi, another transmasc martin hater here. martin's the sort of guy who'd only ever use he/him or she/her pronouns. like. I use he/it pronouns. martin feels like someone who'd only use he/him for me because he "sees me as a real man. he supports trans people!"

where did you all come from omg i didn’t realise i had such a target audience waiting ⁉️⁉️

my gf said he’s the kinda guy to exclusively use they/them on trans ppl so i trust her judgement ☝️

With every tma relisten it feels more and more like martin was made to be a lonely avatar just so jon could get that last mark. It barely makes any sense other than it being a metaphor for depression, which is also weird bc martin lirerally was depressed. No need to add fog to it

tbh yeah and like especially because i didn’t even recognise any like depression or whatever when i listened to it it just feels especially irrelevant??

How do you feel about people who don’t hate Martin on your blog?

I don’t hate him but don’t get the hype, to me he seems like one of the least developed characters in the series because all his development was chucked out the window in S5. He should have been more like S4 to me, I kinda liked that version of Martin personally (and I think the Peter Lucas ark was really interesting)

sometimes they piss me off but sometimes they’re allowed to live as long as they keep quiet.

ive accepted the fact that im the only person in the world with the right opinions on everything so i suppose i can be gracious when people are occasionally also wrong because they will have their due downfall. it is okay.

I feel like jonmartin fans want them to be Frodo and Sam SO bad but they never will be! They're like frodo and sam if they didn't have years of friendship and a deep bond and sam didn't actually give a fuck about frodo and pushed him into the volcano himself in the end

never read the hobbit but i think ill love you forever for this nonetheless. get so freaky on my blog