2025-03-17 21:16:08 ¶ ● ⬈

levaagrace:

> Y’know it fucks with me how much Jon being an orphan informs everything about him, considering it’s a throwaway aspect of his backstory that is never mentioned or talked about again.

> Do you think that’s where his need to know started? Like. Even before Mr. Spider. Do you think that when he started to realize and recognize that he had a different home life than his peers that he started to ask his grandmother questions? Questions she would refuse to answer. Like. How high was his father when he fell? What routine surgery was it that ended his mother’s life? Questions only a child would ask because a child’s thought would be ‘what if I ended up that high up or needing that surgery?’ How could he prevent his own death unless he knew what to avoid? But because she wouldn’t answer, would tell him he was being tactless and rude, he would seek it elsewhere. Giving him a lifelong need to research and know on his own terms, because he was taught no one else would give it to him. Which also lead to being unable to GRIEVE HIS PARENTS. She never talked about it, from what I remember of his personal statement. She was too wrapped up in her own grief, her own pain, to care for his. And what else would lead Jon to his guilt but the fact he never learned GRIEF.

> I’ve already said I’m going to the mental hospital willingly, you can stop pulling on me.