2026-01-29 20:01:37 ¶ ●

Some dumb and pointless Jon Sims headcanons because I have the right to make baseless claims too

- hates cheese. All kinds of it. Just because he had a mediocre cheese sandwich once when he was a child and then never ate anything with cheese on it again. Like with his stance on poetry there are no exceptions to this

- physically disabled but can't really benefit from mobility aids so he doesn't use any. Self-conscious abt it, thinks that if people noticed they would just assume he's weird. Tries to keep everyone from finding out cause he thinks it would make him seem less competent for some reason. Additionally he daydreams about getting a cane cause it would add credibility to his old man act

- his hair gets progressively more grey throughout the podcast. The moment he fulfills the Archivist's purpose and starts the apocalypse it's almost purely white (this is one of my favourite jon headcanons and yet I have never drawn this ever)

- doesn't like eating as in the action of eating. Almost to the point of considering it a waste of time (this is mostly during s2 and later when he had a lot on his plate)(ha)

- can't stand having greasy hair. Also doesn't like taking too long tending to it so I think he would keep it relatively short (rip rapunzel-like jon designs but I'm built different)(not that different actually. I still draw him with a gayass haircut I can't help it)

- doesn't like shopping for clothes in general but buying shoes especially is a NIGHTMARE for him. He'll tape the soles back on just so he could avoid buying a new pair a little longer. Additionally polyester is his biggest enemy n you'll never catch him wearing anything synthetic cause he hates how the fabric feels

- he's the kinda person to carry a lot of stuff on him "just in case". Doesn't leave home without a pocket knife. The type to have extra shoelaces a sewing needle with thread and a nail file at the bottom of his bag. Not very good examples but I'm thinking a lot of generally useless things needed only in very specific scenarios (he'd get sooo smug internally every time he got an opportunity to use one of these + he'd think being prepared for unexpected situations made him seem more competent and wise)