2026-01-24 0:46:07 ¶ ●

Sick of the performative male matcha wielding archivist fanarts. Why force jon "tries to make himself seem older than he actually is to be more respected" to follow fuckinguhhh tiktok trends when martin is right there. Performative feminist literature reading tote bag wielding incompetent archival assistant. Put some "guyliner" on him as well plus some glasses he'd wear to make himself seem smarter and boom you just got his fanon design

2026-01-24 15:27:27 ¶ ● ⬈

joyflameball:

> Mischaracterization getting so brutal I'm about to ask people for sources and citations on their wrong opinions

2026-01-24 16:09:32 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

thevastnessof:

> everyone in s5 talks to jon like he personally intended to end the world when he was just like eating dinner and accidentally set off the nuclear bomb detonator that someone hid under the mashed potatoes. he didnt even know you could do that. Like i know things are tough but give the man a break

2026-01-24 16:21:57 ¶ ● ⬈

wyrmmsun:

> There's something to be said about how spectacularly tma fumbles it's themes of humanity and dehumanization

2026-01-24 19:05:50 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> I hate green beholdinggggg ughh make it something else!!!! In my own beautiful world the beholding is gold.... think of a world with a hazel eyed jon in it..... his eyes would shine so pretty in the sun......whatever

> #personally a big fan of silver beholding #or another reflective colour #gold works too

Omgg silver beholding plus Jonah's grey eyes..... + considering the invasive nature of being watched a reflective colour could be associated with the shine in a predator animal's eyes observing its prey (don't know what it's called)(sorry if this makes no sense I'm tired)

2026-01-24 19:14:53 ¶ ●

Can I confess to something stupid. I used to get annoyed at people posting about any kind of Jon ship who would explicitly highlight that they only approve of the pairing as platonic. I was like "why are you needlessly explaining yourself a ship is a ship who cares"

Today I thought about it for a bit and. It's because every single Jon ship I liked I just subconsciously viewed as platonic without even realizing. Which probably means nothing

2026-01-24 19:22:14 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> > I hate green beholdinggggg ughh make it something else!!!! In my own beautiful world the beholding is gold.... think of a world with a hazel eyed jon in it..... his eyes would shine so pretty in the sun......whatever

> > #personally a big fan of silver beholding #or another reflective colour #gold works too

> Omgg silver beholding plus Jonah's grey eyes..... + considering the invasive nature of being watched a reflective colour could be associated with the shine in a predator animal's eyes observing its prey (don't know what it's called)(sorry if this makes no sense I'm tired)

Hold on hold on. You know like how you think you saw something out of the corner of your eye but then you turn and it was just your own reflection you saw moving. The uneasy feeling of being observed you get when you notice that movement that takes a while to go away. That's so beholding to me. Does this make sense

2026-01-24 21:03:14 ¶ ●

Big city shopping malls would make for a great Stranger domain

2026-01-25 0:09:18 ¶ ● ⬈

martinblackwoodhater:

> i don't know who these mysterious martin haters that go around harassing pure innocent martin fans are but people love to complain abt them and it's like girl PLS send them to me🥀 i think people forget there are like 5 people in the fandom who hate martin blackwood and only 2 blogs. where are you finding this evil mob....

2026-01-25 0:41:31 ¶ ●

Another joncept but in a slightly different format this time

The beholding being blue cause of the evil eye is such a nice conceptttt and it got me thinking about my recent desire to make Jon Archivist into an angel of some sort. So here is a sketch of Jon with a blue halo. For no reason.

I know he looks chopped this took three minutes total and I'm very sleepy

2026-01-25 11:01:57 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> Idea: Jon and Martin have eachother but they're still lonely -> Martin's Lonely aspect is showing -> Martin WANTS to be alone and he also wants Jon to stay with him -> Martin purposely isolates Jon from everyone else so that Jon has to stay with him, can only stay with him.

> Martin's Lonely aspect should've been highlited more in season 5 instead of just being a vessel/medium for his angst. He should've been shown as more monstrous pleeeease. His relationship with Jon should've been portrayed as more supernaturally unhealthy. Hurting people is not always physical, and you're not always aware that you're being hurt. The Lonely would've been so cool if it were also shown as a weapon, as something that can hurt you just as much as the Eye's compulsion. Not just as a tool for Martin's character development. The harmful isolation motif should've been maintained in season 5 as well instead of being discarded for the sake of the human-monster dynamic.

> Every day I mourn monstrous Martin. They could've been so much better auuugh.... AND it could've made Martin drop the weird superiority thing he has over Jon in s5. That or he would become the ultimate hypocrite (tasty)

2026-01-25 18:51:58 ¶ ●

Blue Beholding Jon Archivist

(sketch)

2026-01-27 14:10:21 ¶ ●

Funny that TMA fans often take whatever the Distortion says at face value and without question (see: the Distortion "helping" the Archives crew, the Distortion telling Jon he secretly enjoys being a cruel monster) considering the popularity of the line "the Eye watches, and the Stranger conceals. But me? I lie, Archivist" be honest what do you think Michael meant while saying this

2026-01-27 16:45:18 ¶ ●

Unstoppable force (having a very cool art idea) vs immovable object (not having the skill to execute it)

2026-01-27 16:48:04 ¶ ● ⬈

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> Unstoppable force (having a very cool art idea) vs immovable object (not having the skill to execute it)

Hes judging me. Im sorry jon i dont actually know how to shade or color or draw in general........

2026-01-27 20:26:11 ¶ ●

(very quietly) angel Jon save me.... save me angel Jon..... 🧿

Keep reading

Basically this started out as "I wanna draw Jon as a sad little angel" which then morphed into "what if Jon had wings made of web to sort of symbolise that the power he possesses while being in the position of the Archivist is also a trap and he is still a victim of the very same Fear that gives him strength". Then my beloved mutual suggested blue as the color of the Beholding bc it relates to the evil eye. Then I kinda sorta got the idea to use the blue eye talisman as a halo and uuhhhhh here is the end result. Baiiii

Closeup:

Honestly I kinda like this. I'm no professional but it doesn't look that bad

2026-01-27 23:44:01 ¶ ●

Statement of special agent Dale Cooper regarding his ongoing investigation into the murder of Laura Palmer

2026-01-28 9:37:27 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> It's really odd to me that in s5 the canon doesn't really utilize the fact that Martin is also an avatar. He got tossed into the Lonely, got marked by it, got his own domain in the eyepocalypse, but that was it! The rest of the time he's just hiking through the Fearscape. Feels like wasted potential to me.

> Especially since this fact could be used for further jmart bonding. Sharing their experiences of feeding the Fears etc. But the narrative made Martin completely unaffected by his avatarhood, just so he could be that oh so necessary anchor for Jon's humanity. They should've both gotten a bit more monstrous. It would've made them worse but also infinitely more delicious.

2026-01-28 12:26:33 ¶ ● ⬈

martinblackwoodhaterfan:

> (very quietly) angel Jon save me.... save me angel Jon..... 🧿

> Keep reading

> Basically this started out as "I wanna draw Jon as a sad little angel" which then morphed into "what if Jon had wings made of web to sort of symbolise that the power he possesses while being in the position of the Archivist is also a trap and he is still a victim of the very same Fear that gives him strength". Then my beloved mutual suggested blue as the color of the Beholding bc it relates to the evil eye. Then I kinda sorta got the idea to use the blue eye talisman as a halo and uuhhhhh here is the end result. Baiiii

> Closeup:

> Honestly I kinda like this. I'm no professional but it doesn't look that bad

Showed this to my mum and she went "ohh... spider Jesus :)"

2026-01-28 22:53:28 ¶ ● ⬈

ot3:

> i kinda don't like those posts that are like "it feels so good to be a hater in private instead of bullying people" because i don't think the only two options for negative opinions are Privacy or Bullying. being a hater in a public forum is perfectly fine, and even the most vitriolic negative opinions are not automatically bullying just because someone who might have their feelings hurt by them sees them. there's a difference between being negatively impacted by something you see and being actually targeted by negativity.

2026-01-28 23:11:14 ¶ ●

Also the ppl using arguments like "why do you hate martin when he isn't even the most morally ambiguous/there are worse characters in tma than him" etc when disliking a character just because they're loved by the majority of fans is a pretty common occurence in basically every fandom ever..... why is it suddenly weird now

2026-01-28 23:18:26 ¶ ●

Oh so you are all still liking and reblogging my ugly half assed tma shitpost drawing I posted all the way back in december but none of you bother to even look at my actual art I put a lot of effort into. Not like I care about it or anything

2026-01-29 17:47:47 ¶ ●

Jon at any given moment (he is approximately two minutes away from another fucked up traumatising experience happening to him)

2026-01-29 17:54:32 ¶ ●

Is posting dumb headcanons okay or are u gonna throw tomatoes at me for it

2026-01-29 20:01:37 ¶ ●

Some dumb and pointless Jon Sims headcanons because I have the right to make baseless claims too

- hates cheese. All kinds of it. Just because he had a mediocre cheese sandwich once when he was a child and then never ate anything with cheese on it again. Like with his stance on poetry there are no exceptions to this

- physically disabled but can't really benefit from mobility aids so he doesn't use any. Self-conscious abt it, thinks that if people noticed they would just assume he's weird. Tries to keep everyone from finding out cause he thinks it would make him seem less competent for some reason. Additionally he daydreams about getting a cane cause it would add credibility to his old man act

- his hair gets progressively more grey throughout the podcast. The moment he fulfills the Archivist's purpose and starts the apocalypse it's almost purely white (this is one of my favourite jon headcanons and yet I have never drawn this ever)

- doesn't like eating as in the action of eating. Almost to the point of considering it a waste of time (this is mostly during s2 and later when he had a lot on his plate)(ha)

- can't stand having greasy hair. Also doesn't like taking too long tending to it so I think he would keep it relatively short (rip rapunzel-like jon designs but I'm built different)(not that different actually. I still draw him with a gayass haircut I can't help it)

- doesn't like shopping for clothes in general but buying shoes especially is a NIGHTMARE for him. He'll tape the soles back on just so he could avoid buying a new pair a little longer. Additionally polyester is his biggest enemy n you'll never catch him wearing anything synthetic cause he hates how the fabric feels

- he's the kinda person to carry a lot of stuff on him "just in case". Doesn't leave home without a pocket knife. The type to have extra shoelaces a sewing needle with thread and a nail file at the bottom of his bag. Not very good examples but I'm thinking a lot of generally useless things needed only in very specific scenarios (he'd get sooo smug internally every time he got an opportunity to use one of these + he'd think being prepared for unexpected situations made him seem more competent and wise)