All y’all out here in the TMA fandom talkin about icons like the guy who froze the key to the buried and that plumber who somehow managed to miss a wholeass murder-clown barn. Talkin about how you’d all like to see just once what would have happened if someone had straight up punched an avatar in the face.
How is no one talkin about my man Alexander Scaplehorn, the absolute legend who went to investigate the Trophy Room for money laundering in ep 54 and escaped by fuckin bodyslamming an avatar of the Stranger straight to the floor and then just fuckin hightailin it outta there. This man is a true badass and it’s a crime he doesn’t get mentioned in this fandom more.
You left out the best part which was that after he barely escaped from Monster Taxidermy Hell with his life, he wrote them a glowing report, because whatever creepy supernatural bullshit they were doing, they weren’t laundering money.
He body-slammed a Stranger Avatar in front of Breekon & Hope who he also escaped from by just being too nimble for them to grab. Remember this is the same Breekon & Hope with reflexes fast enough to snatch a butterfly out of the air. The combined forces of a Stranger Avatar, whatever the Angler Fish is, and Breekon & Hope were not enough to hold him.
And the best part is. Despite seeing all the taxidermy come alive and barely escaping from 4 Stranger creatures he ends by saying he’s glad he remembered to bring his briefcase of notes with him because otherwise he would have had to go back!
The man was perfectly ready to walk right back in there if that’s what he needed to do to get his report filed. He really said ‘eldritch monsters or not ya’ll are getting your taxes inspected.’
Also he loves talking about anti-money laundering measures and he uses his job as an excuse to infodump about them because people will actually listen. Don’t we all want that. Plus “oh he’s not making eye contact with me but like, autistic people exist.” He’s surrounded by taxidermy meant to put the fear of the uncanny valley in you and he goes “I refuse to judge this guy just because I don’t Get his hobbies” which is something more people should think. Except in this circumstance, I guess. And the he nearly forget about the evil taxidermy because the taxidermied person (and this one is actually a direct quote) “was a real pleasure to discuss money laundering with.” I love him so much. Autistic icon. I’d let him infodump about money laundering to me