2022-10-31 1:35:46 ¶ ● ⬀ ⬈

girlcaligula:

> girlcaligula:

> > girlcaligula:

> > > ‘it wasn’t your fault, just bad luck, though i’m sure the knowledge brings you no comfort’ is probably still one of the most meaningful things tma had to say

> > tma episodes 82 - 106 - 118 - 160 - 200

> > or, in other words, things that keep me awake at night if i think about them a little too intensely for my own good

> sorry today i cant stop thinking about this but like. it is such a weird thing to say for someone who’s deliberately trying to hurt you. 'nothing that happened to you has been your fault, there is no reason no justification for it, it is just how it works because it is just bad luck’. it is such a fundamentally KIND thing to say.

> of course it doesn’t diminish the harm but it is such a deliberate choice when it comes to his characterization that it upsets me to no end this was never brought to our attention more. jonah wanted to be in control of himself so much that he damned the world for it and continuously re-addresses his own control over the narrative by stressing how the other characters instead are not.

> and yet this is never explored within the framework of the narrative even if season 5 would have been the perfect moment to do so. like what brought you to such extremes. what made you so scared.

I don’t think it’s kind thing to say. It is the opposite of it. Because it feels nice to know the cause, to see the culprit, to have someone to blame even it it’s you. Because you can at least hope you have learnt and it will not happen again.

But being told its no one’s fault and things just sometimes happens and will keep happening and that’s life just feels cruel. There’s no point. There’s no meaning.

And that was ultimately what Jonah was afraid the most not having that control, he can accept him failing because he was wrong he hated the idea of failure just because it’s a part of life. That’s his ultimate motivation to get rid of that part of the equation of his life.

What he does here is taking his own worst fear and combining it with trauma of people he’s talking to. Because it’s the fear he knows the best.