Hey.
Do you ever think part of the reason Georgie stayed by Jon’s bedside through all 6 months of his coma but then abruptly walked out of his life when he woke up is because she was fully expecting to be a caregiver for him during a long, grueling post-coma recovery process?
Do you think part of the reason she was so spooked by him waking up (relatively) unscathed is because she had mentally, physically, and emotionally prepared herself to take him in? That her best case scenario — what she had planned and hoped for — was that he’d wake up with severe cognitive and/or physical deficits, as one would expect from someone who survived an explosion and six months in a coma? That he’d have to re-learn how to walk or talk or eat or hold a spoon on his own? That he would *need* someone, and even if it wasn’t what she wanted for herself or him, she had decided she would step up and be that person for him?
It can be so jarring when you build up a vision of your near future around one assumption, only for that assumption to be completely shattered by reality. Do you think she constructed a future for him in her head, and when he woke up “fine”, she was so startled by the breaking of her expectations that it felt almost like a betrayal? And the sheer uncanny impossibility of him waking up “fine” made her think that her friend was dead after all?
Do you think that after Martin stopped coming around and Georgie found herself alone at Jon’s bedside, she realized she was all he had left in the world? The only one who held onto hope that he would survive in some form? The only one who thought he could wake up, severely disabled by his experiences but free at last? The only one who thought he deserved the chance at a mundane life after all of this, even if that life would look radically different? Do you think she grappled with the reality that if she didn’t step up for him, no one would? Do you think she spent long hours coping with the fact that she was going to have to take on new responsibilities and make new sacrifices for him, but she was willing to do it for an old friend who deserved better than the hand he was dealt? Do you think she mourned her old vision of her future, before she reconstructed that vision around caring for him?
Do you think she started talking to Jon’s doctors about what she could expect if she brought him home after he woke up? What kinds of disabilities he would live with, and what the prognosis was? About his quality of life afterwards? His road to recovery? Do you think she made up her spare bedroom with a severely disabled person in mind, and then started looking into hiring a part time caregiver to come help her make sure Jon got the help (she assumed) he’d need? Do you think she did all kinds of research into brain injuries and their aftermath? Physical therapy for people with severe atrophy? NG tubes for re-feeding severely starved people? Occupational therapists?
Do you think part of the reason she was so upset when he woke up (relatively) unscathed, lucid and talking and breathing on his own, maybe a little physically weak but still much like his old self, is because she had realistic expectations of what his life would look like after his injuries? And seeing him suddenly defy all odds by waking up into a full cognitive and physical recovery — a completely unrealistic hope that she never even considered as part of the realm of possibility — only reinforced the idea that the old Jon was dead, and this new Jon wasn’t safe for her to be around?
Do you think it hurt when she realized she couldn’t bring him home?
I think about that.
He also fully embodied her statement… he was dead. No heartbeat. No breath. Arrested of movement and function - all except his mind.
The change in her friends eyes when faced with death, and the change in Jon…. Georgie was robbed of fear, she couldn’t feel the terror she should have, but she was smart enough to recognize what was missing.
I think she removed herself from him in part because she knew he was so deeply a part of fear now, and she couldn’t be trusted to act in a reasonable manner around him as the one person who couldn’t gauge how wrong he truly was.
Oooh ow ow ow that’s fucked up too and I love it…. Maybe she meant it more literally than we thought when she said she couldn’t let herself be “dragged down with him”. She’s self-aware enough to know that her frame of reference is skewed. I always thought it was fucked up of her to tell him that he’s losing his humanity and needs people around him to help him stay true to himself, but then turn around and remove herself from his support network. But now that decision makes more sense. She *can’t* help him counterbalance or combat his connection to Fear because she doesn’t feel it.
I’d also say, if you follow this to its logical conclusion, Melanie filled this Jon-shaped caregiving hole after she blinded herself. Someone that Georgie can focus all that potential energy she was preparing over the course of Jon’s whole coma, and someone that Georgie can be fiercely protective of. Someone she could help pull away from the Fear, and explore Fearlessness with.
I think though, with Melanie, Georgie’s able to find someone who falls a bit more into being her equal, someone who can push back, and while she does have the ability to be independent, Melanie asks for Georgie’s help.
We know Melanie has “made a few arrangements” prior to the eye awling, which was clearly her reaching out to Georgie. And maybe she did it with the knowledge of Georgie’s prep work for Jon stalling out, knowing that there’s actually one person in her life that would be prepared for this sort of medical emergency.
YESYESYES THANK GOD SOMEONE SAID IT BECAUSE I WAS THINKING IT LITERALLY 5 MINS AFTER I POSTED!!!!
Georgie had a fucking BINDER full of occupational therapists, mental health counselors, physical therapists, caregiving services, the works!! She budgeted for it! She set aside SAVINGS just in case!! She was READY to take someone to all the doctor’s appointments! She had her apartment SET for someone who’s using a mobility aid to navigate! She rearranged her furniture and everything! She had a grab bars installed in her bathroom! She bought a shower chair! Her guest room was all made up and ready for someone to move their whole life there if need be!
When Jon ended up not needing all of that and she came home to a still-empty flat, part of her was glad she didn’t have to rearrange her whole life after all. Just because she was *prepared* to step into a caregiving role doesn’t mean she actively *wanted* to. She just cared about her friend enough that she was ready and willing to do it anyway.
But at the same time… she’s glad, but also weirdly disappointed? All that work for nothing, y’know? If makes her feel a bit foolish for wasting her time and money like that when literally no one asked her to. She just did it without consulting anyone. And worse… she was so sure in her expectation that she’d be bringing someone home, her flat feels weirdly empty now that she knows no one’s coming . Which is ridiculous, right?? It was just her and the Admiral before, and that was enough. Except now it’s not. Nothing’s changed. Just herself and her expectations.
And her disappointment in Jon, of course. She was doing what was best for herself by cutting him off, but that doesn’t make it hurt less. She hated that it came to that.
So she’s alone in a too-empty flat, mourning the loss of a friend who she just couldn’t keep supporting through this terrible thing he kept throwing himself into. She couldn’t watch him self-destruct anymore. She had to put herself first.
And then… along comes Melanie! Once Jon and Basira un-Slaughter her, Melanie actually starts putting in the effort that Jon couldn’t, or wouldn’t! Georgie is so SO happy to take her to her therapy appointments as long as Melanie keeps putting in the work to heal from her trauma. Georgie is so happy and relieved that SOMEONE is making the effort to disconnect from this awful, toxic environment. She’s not going to lose everyone to the Fears the way she lost Jon! She can actually HELP someone this time!
Can you imagine her relief when Melanie finally makes the call to quit, no matter the cost? When she comes to Georgie with a solution, and commits to it? To being better? To following through?
Because I can imagine it.