s1 jon: this statement Would have been absolute drivel wasting the time of myself and literally everyone at the institute that i nonetheless put 100000 hours of inspection into even though it’s meaningless and is nothing to me……..if not for this one detail. as it is, it gives me the heebie jeebies. dont tell anyone i said that.
s2 jon: listen this is how you make sure you dont get killed: run around in the dark by yourself. tell the worst lies anyone has EVER heard. also i got stabbed but its fine now. i need to figure out why everyone decided to work here its weird bc this place sucks. i can’t just ask them so i will look in their desks instead
s3 jon: WHY do i keep getting kidnappedSTOP PICKING ME UP BY THE SCRUFF OF MY GODDAMN NEoh wait are you Murderous Mike?? from the statements! please describe how you got to be so murderous– OWWW. okay but tell me i think im like.. you? so tell me,
s4 jon: ah, Murderous Mike yet again. that reminds me of this philosophical conundrum i have been spiraling over for the past two weeks. and also how much ive been missing martin. do you think the world would be better if i were killed. be honest
s5 jon: martin. martin do you understand the dreadful metaphor. good because i was Nott going to explain it. i should probably be shot dead but that isn’t going to happen (im too special) so i am going to bother my extremely stressed out companions instead :)doyou want to hear a joke that you wont like :)
