Funny thing to me about The Magnus Archives is it’s obvious Jonathon Sims is an exceptionally talented writer, but also it manifests in every single random verbatim from random witnesses of The Horrors being just as well-written.

I won’t call it a plot hole because it’s core to the quality of the series. But it’s just funny that every single student, freelance designer, man at war, garbage man, and unfortunate coffin owner in this world can give these narrative recounts of just stunning prose. Deeply eloquent, exceptionally articulate, masterful diction, great sense of pacing and description, unshakeable flow.

I just think it would be a lot more realistic (and worse, and unlistenable, and kind of funny) if 2/3 of the Magnus Archives episodes went like *Jonathon Sims voice* “Statement begins: ‘So my buddy Jimmy, it started with him acting really weird like, two weeks before he vanished. Like I’ve known Jimmy since like forever and he’s a chill guy, like he’s not a weirdo or like anyone who’d act crazy, and he doesn’t do drugs, either, like okay no hard drugs I mean, so like when he started being weird I asked him like 'hey you seem weird, you okay?’ or something like that and he was like–well I don’t remember exactly how he said it–but there was this giant scary spider thing that would follow him home every day. And like I thought that was bullshit, because like, spiders don’t do that. But then like a week later I saw it and it was HUGE, like really big and creepy, like just really fucked up. Like I pissed my pants a little bit, I can admit that, that I pissed my pants because the spider was so fucked up.”

And then the podcast does that for 27 more minutes.