[ID: Magnus Archives fanart of Jon Sims, a thin brown man with long hair holding up a tape recorder with a neutral expression. The canvas fractures like glass over his left eye, and each splintered section shows a progression of a close-up on Jon’s eye slowly moving to face the viewer. His face is lit by progressively brighter green light, and his pupil develops a green glint. End ID]
i’ve been thinking of a scenario where in late s3 jon is in elias’ office discussing plans for stopping the unknowing and when jon asks a question elias pulls the ol’ “try to know” trick and jon whines and is like “i have no idea what that means, tell me what the hell i’m supposed to be doing” and elias very calmly condescends “it’s like exercising a muscle, jon, i can’t do it for you”
and then after some vague platitudes about breathing deeply and focusing with intent jon… does know. he knows where to find the answer to his question, knows exactly the right statement. knows exactly where it’s filed away. and then he knows the answer intuitively, without even reading it. and then he knows more. he knows quite a lot, actually. he knows… actually quite a bit more than elias would have expected at this stage.
and suddenly the exercise has gotten away from him. jon’s pupils are blown wide. his expression is manic, “elias… i can see it. i know what to do i know how to stop it, i-” he rises from his chair and elias shrinks back into his.
“i can see,” jon says, breathlessly, “i can see the things that i point my mind to, i- i- i can see rosie, just outside the door. i can see- tim! tim is at his desk for the first time in… god, in weeks. a- a- and martin, i can see martin, he’s- he’s filing through our historic foreign language statements and-”
jon stops suddenly and turns towards elias, who can feel his gaze on him like a lead weight dropped squarely in the center of his chest. a moment of deafening silence stretches between them. then quietly, haltingly, jon rasps, “i can see… you.”
oh boy i start my job as a wound man tomorrow can’t wait to be stabbed, sliced, slashed, lacerated, eviscerated, bludgeoned, cudgeled, beaten with rods, beaten with irons, shot with arrows, shot with cannons, have spears thrown into me, have spears thrown through me, impaled on spikes, flayed, flensed, boiled, shot with arrows again, and have rocks dropped on my head
[Image Description: a greyscale digital illustration where a nude man is prone, eyes closed and expression relaxed. He has light-medium toned skin and long, thick, salt and pepper hair. A figure is leaning above him, holding him off the ground with one hand around his waist. The figure appears humanoid with very dark skin, but the head is one large eyeball which stares down at the man’s face. The crown of the figure’s head expands outward in straight and wavy lines off the edge of the image. End ID]
look beyond the chainlink fence, lock eyes with the tiger; hes staring you dead, peer into the depths of his pupils; study his soul. truth becomes evident in moments of severity
the next best thing to fucking your evil boss (maybe better than fucking your evil boss?) is through contrivances of time travel or multiverse navigation or 🚪 or whatever to go fuck your evil boss’s slightly less evil (pre-evil? still building up our evilness levels) earlier incarnation 200 years in the past and make him fall in love with you. and then 👁️👁️👁️👁️ him off this plane of existence
the next best thing to fucking your evil boss (maybe better than fucking your evil boss?) is through contrivances of time travel or multiverse navigation or 🚪 or whatever to go fuck your evil boss’s slightly less evil (pre-evil? still building up our evilness levels) earlier incarnation 200 years in the past and make him fall in love with you. and then 👁️👁️👁️👁️ him off this plane of existence
you could also stay put where you are and pursue a bizarre parasocial relationship with said proto-boss that makes your current evil boss feel really weird ?
go back in time and enter into a bizarre erotic entanglement with jonah magnus and then call him elias at whatever moment would make it as weird as possible
i’ve been thinking of nothing but @sm0kebreaks dear jonah au lately and how 2018!jon x 1818!jonah brings up these feelings in jon which i don’t think he ever really let go of
go back in time and enter into a bizarre erotic entanglement with jonah magnus and then call him elias at whatever moment would make it as weird as possible
go back in time to try to fix the timeline by making jonah magnus not be evil but unfortunately you’re an insane bewitching eyeball monster so now he’s REALLY gotta see what all that’s about
jon when annabelle cane told him that nobody is making him want to forcibly compel statements out of innocent people and that all his actions are his own
[ID: A tweet edited to be by jon sims @/lucipur which says “Finally caught the dipshit that’s been ruining my life.” Attached is fanart of Jon Sims from The Magnus Archives, shown in a mirror and angrily pointing at his reflection. He’s holding a cassette recorder like a phone. End ID]
first most important trait of a good archivist is obviously heedless reckless curiosity which can never be sated. second most important trait is that being terrified makes you kind of horny
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