Jon comes back as a child and gets adopted by elias (keeping enemies closer)
they try to stop each other’s plan but end up distracted and forming some weird kind of family (jon gets to grow up with more people around him,, and elias / jonah’s biggest fear becomes losing jon to enemies ASLKDLSJF)
i know it’s a bit delusional but i have read three 100k+ word fanfics on this idea and they are all super angsty and unfinished im fucking dyinggggg i just had to let this out because i am Not Okay
some episodes of the magnus archives are like we are impossibly small and inconsequential in the vast expanse of the universe and nothing we do matters. the fragility of human existence is as beautiful as it is horrifying and we must make our peace with that as it is a fate not even death can save us from.
and then some episodes are like what if this band was so shit people died
STOP this GRIFTER’S BONE SLANDER! the whole premise is that they’re so good that people feel compelled to murder! Their music is so beautiful that it inspires people to commit acts of violence! It’s an amazing band, whose music communicates emotion so well that everyone who hears it is taken over by rage and bloodlust!
peter lukas from the magnus archives is frayromantic. why? color scheme and canon-accurate the lonely content. what’s more forsaken coded than being romantically attracted to someone UNTIL you actually get to know them? it just. makes so much sense in my mind.
elias bouchard/jonah magnus from the magnus archives is evil and aromantic. he does Romance for money and money alone. he single-handedly got gay marriage legalized in britain for the sake of getting peter’s money.
john gaius from the locked tomb is cupioromantic. because there’s this consistant vibe he brings to every relationship he has.
ianthe tridentarius is lithromantic and lithsexual because the hottest thing a woman can do is NOT be attracted to her.
immediately showering and furiously washing the blood off my hands after stabbing someone, not because i feel any guilt or remorse for what i did but because i have sensory issues
evil helpless eye cryptid catboy jonah magnus. i could elaborate but i dont think u guys are ready for this one yet
and he’s so creepy too because he still has his normal eyeballs (the jonah magnus is, in fact, stored in the eyeballs. this is canon) so he’s just a biblically accurate eye avatar looking thing with regular human eyeballs that wants to manipulate and lie and kill but alas he is trapped in this form. and he starts subconciously acting like a cat.
honestly i probably fuck with the lonely and the desolation the most out of all the fear entities just because their avatars seem to have this shit figured out. no complex moral codes or convoluted plans or anything. just i hate people and i don’t want them near me and i hate potential and want to burn it down. like cartoon villains. i can get behind that
The strongest guy in the Magnus Archives is that one guy who was so obsessed with his dog that he just walked right out of the Spiral because it was her dinnertime
This is one of my favorite episodes. Fears can’t hurt you if you’re chill enough. The guy who walked in a spiral for four hours and then just left because he remembered he had somewhere to be is, to me, the avatar of the entities’ fear
strongest people in the magnus archives:
guy who kept the coffin of the buried in his living room and used it as a coffee table
walked out of the spiral because his dog needed dinner
the plumber who was so inattentive that the stranger put on a whole spectacle for him and he straight-up missed it all
the guy whose primary concern with the evil taxidermists was whether or not they were money laundering (they weren’t)
the woman who accepted that she was going to die on the underground, so she just lay down and fell asleep. still takes the tube to work
unfortunately i have no interpretation of that guy Just Yet because im very new to tma but give it a few weeks or so
OKAY SO. WE’RE SO BACK TO THIS ONE. now that i have fallen face-first into the tma fandom i feel qualified to have an interpretation
its him old man yaoi i love this guy
nobody asked me to, but i made more tma characters
elias bouchard / jonah magnus
literally cotard’s solution by will wood. also og elias is a transgirl in my mind and jonah has some stuff to figure out about themself when it comes to gender but they’re too busy being evil or whatever
peter lukas
the problem with peter lukas is that he’s literally me fr. and that’s why i get to decide that he is also finnish.
gertrude robinson
they invented unethical old woman yuri and that’s whatever she has going on.
uhh some of my very cool very complicated feelings on all three:
on the desolation: i fuck with fire. and there is such a rage inside of me. if i could melt things i would do it no hesitation. i’m like the sun, but not sunshine, i mean heat and fire and death.
on the lonely: i love personal space. i love being distant. i get tired of people very very fast and sometimes i just dislike everyone for no real reason.
on the vast: i would so much rather be an insignificant part of the universe than an individual who matters. i fuck with space, the sea, and the sky. also i love fast movement. i genuinely enjoy when i’m on an airplane and there’s turbulence, or when i’m on a bus and the bus driver is driving way too fast. that’s enriching for me. if i would fall forever i’d have a lot of fun i think
ok i’m back on my bullshit. trans archives agenda time
martin has trouble with health insurance at some point and has to go off t for a while, so his period comes back and he is Suffering. he asks if anyone has any painkillers (specifically vague) and tim’s like “yeah bro i gotchu” and hands him a midol. and martin just looks at him in panic like …does he know?? and tim is just like 😬 don’t mind me i’m just a normal cis guy with normal cis guy painkillers and neither of them ever mentions it again
tim wears a binder underneath his usual buttoned shirts, and likes to keep the top couple buttons undone. people just tend to assume it’s a tanktop, but sasha knows. she’s traded clothes with him a dozen times already
sasha gets bottom surgery and while she’s in recovery tim brings her food every day, and sits with her and tells her what she missed at work. he makes up funny stories that get more and more ridiculous until she’s finally like “okay tim i KNOW you’re lying this time” and he shrugs and replies “all trans men know is make friend laugh, eat doughnut, and lie”
jon gets top surgery but doesn’t tell any of his coworkers what procedure he’s having done, just that he’s having surgery. he’s out of work for weeks, and when he comes back martin notices that he’s no longer wearing what he’d assumed was an undershirt. martin doesn’t think anything of it. tim, however, notices that jon is veeeeery cautious about lifting his arms over his head and is just like ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i see u, boss (and goes out if his way to retrieve everything that’s on high shelves for jon, who continues to act like nothing is up)
elias sneaks into the archives on the first day of pride month to set a little jar of trans flags in the break room. he does not admit to doing this. he watches from his office as the archives descends into chaos
i just think it’d be really funny if a homophobe went to the magnus institute to make a statement, and then got mad at one of the archive assistants for wearing a pride pin or smth and started the whole “who’s your boss?” routine, only to find out that the chain of command just gets gayer and gayer.
oh you don’t wanna deal with the friendly gay man just wearing a rainbow pin? then feel free to deal with his boss/boyfriend instead, a gnc asexual biromantic man with a vibe that can only be described as “of course you’re constantly dealing with the horrors. and have pronouns”.
oh, you wanna talk to the manager? have fun complaining about the gay agenda to a guy who gets funding for his institute from his sugar daddy, wears high heels just to make sure people can hear him walking around and know he’s keeping an eye on them, and probably switches his gender up every once in a while just to keep the haters guessing.
tim and sasha are OBVIOUSLY barbie and ken from the barbie movie (other people have said it before and i’ll gladly support it)
martin is some horribly obscure costume from a book or a poem no one really knows about and he gets a bit sad that no one knows who he is but then sasha does a quick google and subtly drops hints to everyone to go be like “heyyyy martin, amazing x costume” and then he cheers up
jon just refuses to dress up and everyone (especially Tim) bullies him like “oh amazing socially inept man who’s desperately trying to seem good at his job costume!! you’ve got it spot on!!” and he’s so furious that he puts on a costume
and in every iteration of these headcanons, martin is FLOORED at whatever he eventually dresses up as and i am all for that i will eat that shit up
he’s so starved for interactions with his crush that he goes feral over jon in non-office clothes
favourite jon costumes include: normal clothes plus cat ears, normal clothes and everyone thinks he’s come as a vampire, normal clothes in the later seasons and sasha would be like “jon its not ok for you to dress up as a homeless person” with a shit eating grin and jon’s like …what
bonus - jon doesn’t need to dress up cause he’s already got his costume - it’s someone who’s good at their job!!
elias LOVES halloween i bet that man is like fuck yeah i can freak out my archival workers in a whole host of new ways - plastic spiders around the office for jon, little clown dolls for tim, eyes EVERYWHERE and its so gaudy and terrible and everyone despises him
also he really doubles down on calling jon the archivist
i feel like tim secretly hates halloween now but in like early working at the institute, he went along with it cause martin put out a little pumpkin on his desk and sasha smiled at it
melanie fucking loves halloween, she’s a legitimately terrifying costume, let’s go through the haunted house kinda gal and i love that for her. she’s a lets watch all three human centipedes in one night and see what happens kinda gal
daisy and basira despise it cause of all the weird shit that people pull on halloween (and they’re on edge that they’ll be called for some section 31 shit for all of it)
jon also hates halloween for a similar reason - the increase of joke statements and general taking the piss about the magnus institute
hate when a fandom agrees the villain is queer but then proceeds to call them a “homophobic gay” just because they’re the villain. like come on that’s just an evil fag, no need to imply that their queerness and their evilness contradict each other. yes this includes the villains you don’t like btw
this applies to everyone other than elias bitchard
i understand ur point but also no. i think she’s a new type of queer villain entirely and i do not think she’s homophobic. i think he single-handedly got gay marriage legalized in britain so she could get more money. i think it still calls cigarettes “fags” just to see people’s reactions. i think he plays heavily into corporate pride just to be annoying. i think he’s schrödinger’s closeted (calls itself an “ally” whenever asked about it, but makes no effort to hide her queerness in any other way).
whatever he’s got going on is so much funnier than internalized homophobia.
a lot of fear avatars make more sense when you try to pinpoint how they interpret the fear they serve. peter lukas says that he actually does not enjoy the idea of being the only person who exists; he enjoys the feeling of being excluded. his enjoyment of being lonely is entirely dependant on other people. that’s very different from what someone might initially interpret the lonely as.
I often see people depict Elias as the snobby, prim rich boy between Elias and Peter and here’s my argument for the opposite: Peter canonically talks about being an aristocrat and scion of a powerful household, casually mentions dropping unfathomable amounts of money on personal projects, acts like a spoilt child when he doesn’t get his way, spends all his time on his yacht ship chilling in his cabin and having meals delivered to him, insults Jon by calling him ‘grubby Jesus’ which is just so fucking snobby oh my god, has a family that clearly values appearances, and then there’s his ritual. God, his ritual. I mean:
“I still remember seeing the headline, there in black and white: “The Loneliest Building in Britain.” Trouble is, everyone I picked was white middle-class, so people actually cared, falling over themselves to declare it “emblematic of the problems of the modern world.”
He’s such critical levels of snobby rich boy that his ritual failed specifically because he’s so short-sighted about privilege (he also, like an arrogant little rich boy, insisted on picking people himself despite being surrounded by more qualified people, because of course he did).
Elias, meanwhile, is like a 200 years old man who is referred to as a ‘waste of a suit’, loves paperwork, wears the same haircuts for so long that other people notice how old fashioned they are, and is happy to let his vessels reach middle age and older. He’s an old man who likes paperwork and was able to pretend to be a well-meaning, but somewhat incompetent boss for years. Like, this guy isn’t the snobby rich boy between them; he actively uses Peter’s snobby rich boy status to benefit himself.
i am NOT gaslighting you. i am lying to you. gaslighting implies a level of effort that i am simply not putting in. deceiving you does not require much
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
ALT
