idk if this is anything but recently i’ve been thinking about jane prentiss and jonah magnus as a ship possibility. gross but in like a really intriguing way i think. some really fucked up femslash right there. i could keep talking but i might find out how joan of arc felt
Thoughts on terminal velocity? (Mike crew/oliver banks)
i fucking adore that ship name so much. i wish i had more thoughts on mike but i am a big fan of oliver. not very vast avatar of me, i know. but they’re cute!! yes yes.
several, actually. half-irish. every body he’s possessed has dimples. when he uses his powers too much, he has aggressive and prolonged sneezing fits. secretly listens to paramore. if you look closely, his eyes are like permanently bloodshot but the blood is a bit too dark (rotten). elias bouchard specifically has a tooth gap. he probably had a fucking laudanum prescription back in the day. snorts coke in the institute bathroom. has considered converting to the hunt a few times.
i don’t trust people who dislike gertrude robinson. objectively cool as fuck character. i also don’t trust people who make her a grandmother figure in fanfiction but that’s another conversation entirely
“jon and elias are in love” i wouldn’t say all that “elias is psychosexually obsessed with jon” this we can’t possibly deny, or understand tma without accepting
whatever. not my fault some of u guys dont understand the appeal of a false prophet character. or perhaps an antagonist who has a plan that’s based entirely on their own very specific worldview that nobody else agrees with or understands. a villain should be evil but also convinced that they’re doing the right thing, i think
daisy vs. elias is my favourite s3 scene because i enjoy both of them as fictional characters, and i disagree with both of them on a moral level. ceo vs. cop. daisy walks in and immediately calls him a weird little freak. elias immediately starts reading her like a book. she does not hesitate for a second to threaten him with police brutality. both of them are doing horrible things in this scene and i am so glad that they’re doing them to each other
i have ideas in my fucked up little mind. jonathan sims is afraid of everything about himself that’s monstrous and jonah magnus is afraid of everything about himself that’s human.
its understandable that people characterize elias as a stereotypical annoying bitch disney villain, but i feel like the canon was trying to do something so much funnier with him. his main personality trait was never being petty or overtly evil. it was being boring and corporate. this is not loki, this is like. the narrator from the stanley parable. ok. this is mr. does budgeting for fun. he is an automatically generated manager who just so happens to be a 200 year old evil false prophet.
one of my favourite headcanons i have is that jonah magnus was half-irish, but elias bouchard is not. so he just has to kind of pretend that he’s not bothered by tim’s attempts at a fake irish accent.
i think that lonelyeyes works the best when they’re each others’ worst nightmares and i think that jonelias works the best when they’re both suffering and absolutely need each other and i think that timelias works the best when they both think they’re the manipulator (neither of them actually is) and i think that-
fuck dude i cant just pick one i love all of them….i’ll try to pick a few of my personal favourites tho
melanie king/helen richardson. if they’d gotten a chance to fall in love. oh my god. they could’ve been so so cute. i need to look at a type of pathetic lesbian helen richardson content that simply does not exist
jane prentiss/elias bouchard. might be biased because i kind of invented this one but. jonah is a type of parasite. she is of the corruption and she doesn’t even realize it. if season 1 worm attack would’ve had a sex scene i think it would’ve been them. would’ve been really gross too
barnabas bennett/jonah magnus. i get a little sad everytime i think about them. like what the fuck for real. i love gay tragedy
gonna add more interesting/fun/rare ones in the tags but yeah those are probably my top three rn
they could be so toxic and codependent together. i want jon slowly losing his humanity and having to rely on elias to help him through it. i want elias desperately begging for jon to stay because what’s a pupil with no archive? they should be together, but only because they need each other in an unhealthy way. a monster that just wants to be human and a human that wants to reject its humanity more than anything.
they’re opposites. they’re two sides of the same coin. they could never understand each other. they’re the only ones who understand each other. they’re destined to die together. they are judas and jesus in both directions. they’ll mercy kill each other. jon is a god to elias. jon just wants to be a human.
they should’ve named gertrude joan because joan of arc reference but ALSO because then we would’ve had three eye avatars named jonah, joan, and jonathan.
nothing quite like the slowly building dread and frustration i feel when i’m trying to find a character playlist that doesn’t include cavetown or mother mother.
fine you can have my jonah magnus playlist <- guy whose jonah magnus playlist literally nobody asked for
i am the number one advocate for silly, unrealistic distortion headcanons. michael blushes like an anime character. helen’s pupils and irises can and will change shape and color.
ok but if the magnus archives really WAS a workplace comedy, i bet they could’ve done something extremely funny with the whole elias/jonah twist. like they would’ve revealed it to the audience at season 1, and then seasons 2 to 4 would just be full of him getting into increasingly ironic situations.
i can just so vividly picture one of those scenes where someone casually mentions jonah magnus and elias, who just so happened to be walking by, accidentally responds to the name. or someone audibly wonders why all the former heads of institute all seem to have the same eye color, and elias is sweating nervously like “haha yeah what a weird coincidence” and then he looks at the camera like they do in the office or whatever.
i’m just saying. “my manager is secretly also the founder of this institute” sounds like a sitcom set-up.
timelias is appealing because it’s the worst thing that could happen to either of them. imagine how devastating it would be for tim to be attracted to the most annoying, boring, corporate bitch ever. like his one interesting trait is that he’s evil. and on the other hand, elias would be forced to come to terms with the fact that his most irritating employee is, in fact, hot. and it would be so entertaining for literally everyone else
YES. HAHA!!!! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR AN OPPORTUNITY.
ok so. first of all. lesbian. this much is obvious. but consider: non-binary lesbian. i mean all avatars are transgender in new and interesting ways to me but the distortions especially. i think helen richardson was already some flavor of demigirl, the spiral just filled all the parts of her gender that Weren’t Girl with a bunch of other noise. so now she’s like 50% girl, 50% something you can’t even comprehend.
i think the spiral chose her because she had a tendency to lie to her clients. just a little bit.
sometimes her pupils and irises change shape and color, often creating weird combos, like a circle pupil with a rectangle iris, etc. it’s unclear wether she can control this or not. (an excuse to give her literal heart eyes? perhaps.)
i probably have more that i just can’t think of rn but!!! her!!!!
i think the lonely feeds on exclusion, not absence. i think it feeds not on the fact that no one can help you, but rather that no one cares to even try. if you know someone out there is trying to help you, you won’t feel lonely, no matter how far away or unable to actually help that person is.
that’s one thing that the statement of barnabas bennett can teach us about how the lonely functions, and how jonah magnus feeds it. he could have helped, but he watched. the indifferent watcher. an amoral gaze that only seeks to know. what’s lonelier than being seen, but not helped?
i think the spiral feeds on doubt, not insanity. i think it feeds on your fear of betrayal, your fear of unreality, of being lied to. you belong to the spiral once you don’t know what to trust anymore, once everything feels fake.
that’s one thing that the statement of michael can teach us about the spiral’s existence, and how gertrude robinson feeds it. the facade she puts up around almost everyone hides a ruthless woman, who doesn’t care what or who she has to sacrifice to achieve her goals. this is the facade that had michael shelley fooled, and eventually, literally fed to the spiral. that moment of betrayal, of the mask slipping off, of realizing that it was all fake. do you think that that’s when he realized that nothing was real?
eye avatars really, really have this tendency to feed other fears.
with that in mind, which one do you think jonathan “on good terms with oliver banks” “goes around ending avatars’ existences” “dies at the end” sims has been feeding?
tma muppet movie au where muppet elias beats human actor jurgen leitner to death with a metal pipe. idk what else to put here that’s all I came up with
WAIT
MUPPET DISTORTION
human actor melanie attempting (repeatedly) and failing (repeatedly) to murder muppet elias…
peter lukas is also a muppet. it’s a muppet-vs-muppet bet between him and elias. jon and martin are both human actors. peter lukas explodes into shreds of felt and a puff of fog when he gets eye-vaporized
Jonathan Sims / Oliver Banks. Go. (but also. What if they have kind of Corruption arc? What if they go completely, absolutely, batshit darkside and lose their moral compass?)
Annabelle Cane/Jonathan Sims (I'm crazy and I know it.)
Mike Crew/Martin Blackwood.
P.S. Jonelias what if Jon, while still being Eye-aligned, actually turned out to be an avatar of the Web?
Please don't hate me.
oh hell yeah, more asks (i might be the tiniest bit high, like a really really small amount, so i might be even more incomprehensible than usual, my apolocheese)
jon/oliver (lmao like the comedian john oliver) cute!! but also corruption arc?? hell yes. im 100% behind a corruption arc for both of them. and if they’re gay together through it well. good for them!!!
gertrude/annabelle. hell yeah i love yuri, btw happy new yuri everybody. they could be really interesting!!! in general i think eye/web relationships are really interesting…
jon/annabelle. again, interested in this !!! since jon’s further into being an eyevatar than gertrude ever was, the eye/web aspect is even more obvious.
mike/martin ooo ok go off?? i love rarepairs sm (<- guy who comes up with rarepairs as a hobby) i feel like the dynamic could be really fun
jonelias with web!jon? absolutely. hell yeah. again, eye/web aspect. but its even more fascinating and potentially fucked up because its these two. ate. amazing
also fym “please don’t hate me” i love and adore every single person who sends me tma asks forever and ever. btw. this is true about me
the other thing about elias is that he is like a tumblrina to me essentially. like he saw a wet mean little man he liked and he said oh he’s perfect i’m going to put him in a jar and shake him around i’m going to put him in so many hideous situations. like any time you want to put a man in the microwave it was then that elias bouchard carried you. but unlike tumblr bloggers he managed to leverage this for career advancement slash becoming king of the fucking world which no one here has ever accomplished. you know they say if you do what you love you never work a day in your life.
