Not a day goes by since I first listened to the TMA bloopers without me desperately wishing that I could see Elias Bouchard get into a fistfight with a doorbell and lose.
i have two sides. the side of me that wants to write incredibly toxic doomed tragic yuri. and the side of me that just wants to write jonah magnus getting kicked in the nuts
laplace’s angel by will wood would be excellent inspiration for me to write another daiselias fic. btw. just so u all know. might do it. might not. we’ll see.
let me preface this by saying I could talk about this piece of shit for HOURS. also these range from completely random trivia things to silly to oddly specific. also I may have projected a bit too much but oh well, that’s what fictional babygirls are for
- I’m a trans Jonah truther. but also he’d been going exclusively by he/him pretty much his whole life until someone in the middle of an argument called him “it” and he had one of those “wait am I even a person” moments and since then he does not know wtf he is. is he a man? is he a thing? is he a creature? is he a concept? none of the above? all of the avobe? who knows. not even the Eye knows what’s going on with that.
- he grew up on the outskirts of Edinburgh, and he has very mixed feelings about it. like on one hand he did not like it and was overjoyed to leave, but on the other that is his home and you will not disrespect it. to this day if anyone talks shit about Edinburgh or Scotland in general he has to stop himself from acting bothered about it.
- I’m sorry but I can smell his daddy/mommy issues from MILES away (he has both).
- he used to be super self-conscious. the “shit they’re all staring at me but I need to pretend to be confident and respectable so fuck it” sort of way.
- he was especially insecure about his freckles. he was convinced they made him look like a little kid (which is not true, freckles are gorgeous and fuck anyone who thinks otherwise).
- he’s always had a huge staring problem. and he originally had really big eyes so if anyone caught his interest they’d just be doing their thing and then turn around and catch him like 👁️_👁️.
- also he was always that kid that asked too many questions, especially regarding god (another thing I can smell from miles away is the religious trauma).
- he was born on november 13th 1787 (a tuesday the 13th, which in some cultures is believed to be a bad luck day, like friday the 13th) and officially founded the Institute on his 31st birthday (november 13th 1818, a friday the 13th).
- he has a collection of lover’s eyes gifted by his many boyfriends acquaintances. he’s got them all in a little box at his place and he remembers the exact moment each was gifted to him.
- I’m not going to get into how I imagine the time between when Barnabas got chucked into the Lonely and when he went to get his bones (it would take far too long) but this bitch was Not Having A Good Time. those broken glasses and torn pages Barny mentioned in his last letter? all him baby.
- also after Barnabas died he had a period of a couple weeks where he did not speak. not one word. he looked completely normal otherwise but people did notice. after that he just acted like nothing had happened and pretended to be clueless when people asked him about it.
- speaking of Barnabas’s bones, he got a quill made of the bones in the ring finger of his left hand. he never uses it (no occasion is special enough) but he takes it with him any time he leaves the Institute for longer than a day (he couldn’t take it with him to jail though :( ).
- speaking of leaving the Institute, he travels surprisingly rarely. it’s not that he doesn’t like traveling or that he can’t afford it, he simply doesn’t do it.
- Jonathan Fanshawe’s last letter hurt him far more than he expected, and so did Albrecht’s death. he thought he wouldn’t feel much after Barny’s death but that shit hit him.
- his eyesight gets worse every time he gets a new body. as Elias his glasses are so thick it’s almost comical.
- he loves fluffy blankets with a PASSION.
-but he despises fluffy sweaters. he cannot wear them.
- he also loves pillows, cushions etc. he has at least 10 in his bed.
- you can’t tell me his egotistical ass doesn’t spend AT LEAST 2 hours getting ready every day (and 50% of that time he spends just staring at himself, checking that every minute detail is absolutely perfect).
- he’s a raging hypochondriac. this man (gender neutral) will sneeze once and he’s already thinking about his next body.
- his favorite cake flavour is red velvet. also black forest cake reminds him of Albrecht.
- as much as I like the joke of Jonah being the Lukases communal bootycall, he actually despises most of that family.
- aside from his long list of “acquaintances”, he did have a super short fling with Simon Fairchild. Simon still jokes about it to this day and Jonah hates him for it.
- when he’s angry or under a lot of stress he’ll just stop blinking. like he usually doesn’t blink as often as The Average Human, but if he’s mad he’ll just stop entirely. this started happening after the failed Watcher’s Crown, but he didn’t notice it until one time Gertrude pointed it out (that was a fun conversation, I might write something about this eventually).
- sometimes he’ll forget or just not feel like doing normal bodily functions like eating or sleeping, and when he remembers that he has to in order to, you know, function, he gets so mad about it (why are human bodies so high maintenance and so unreliable at the same time istg).
- he used to be a sacredy cat. not anymore because he can See when people are close to him, but if you were to come up behind him to scare him back in the day he would leap.
- he has an odd fondness for amaranth flowers. I doubt he’s a plant person but he likes those a lot (and tbh now that I think about it the mental image of plant mom Jonah makes me very soft. he’d tell the plants his Evil Plans and shit).
this is all I could think of off the top of my head but I’ll probably add more as time goes by. I loved finally listing my headcanons for this little fucker so thanks for giving me the chance lol
now you. gimme your Jonah headcanons. I am going to eat them.
HAHHSAHHAHA YES HEHDFJKFJWJ
- genderfluid but never bothered to actually get into All That because it’s “only a problem sometimes”. until binary transwoman elias bouchard caught his attention. honestly getting gender envy from someone and just possessing them about it is kind of funny to me
- this thing can fit so much species dysphoria in it
- serial substance abuser. he mostly picks people who already have pre-existing addictions so he has an excuse, but honestly he will use anything that numbs the constant overwhelming flow of information that comes with being an eye avatar
- amblyopia in his left eye. never got the proper treatment for it as a kid, so now he has to do those stupid little exercises where you cover your dominant eye with an eye patch.
- less of a headcanon and more of an interpretation i guess, but i think a lot of his character can be explained by the fact that he was born during the industrial revolution. he knew the world was going to end, and he wanted it to end on his terms.
- already made a seperate post about this but i like the idea that his eyes get dirty slowly so he has to clean them up consistantly.
- just super weird and kind of horny about most of the other fears in general.
- somewhat related, i think the way the watcher’s crown functions is also a representation of how jonah magnus feeds all the other fears as well. i’ve already made far too many posts about how all eye avatars basically have secondary alignments (gertrude: spiral/lonely, jon: end) and jonah has like So Many and i have my explanations for all of them (stranger’s kind of obvious. something non-human inside a human body. but the one that i personally came up with was corruption, since he’s essentially a parasite)
- lost basically all control over his own body during the watcher’s crown. he didn’t need anything except the eye to survive at that point, so all that time, he was just kind of in the panopticon as all information within the known universe flowed through him like light through a pupil. sometimes he’d just faint and keep reciting the statements anyways. it was, like jon said, agonizing bliss.
- fuck i need more lighthearted ones uhh. when he gets angry and/or embarrassed, his ears going red is always the first sign. somehow this manages to happen in every single body he possesses.
- also his eyes go bloodshot like very very easily. but the blood is just a bit darker than it’s supposed to be.
- prominent dimples. again, in every body. he probably specifically uses that as criteria to decide wether he’s gonna possess someone or not. just to keep one trait consistant.
uhhjj i probably have more but most of them are obvious if you look at like one or two of my tma posts lmao. anyways thank you for asking teehee
but i would like to elaborate even further on stadi mike crew as someone who has lived in helsinki my entire life.
i just know he was raised in keskusta. that little guy was on top of tuomionkirkko constantly. gets his fucking coffee from r-kioski. where do you think he finds victims for the vast?? hsl public transport. he just has the energy of every single guy i’ve seen passing through steissi on their way to the metro, avoiding eye contact with everybody, rocking an open jacket and a scarf in -19 degrees celcius. absolute stadi trash, that man is. /aff
brutal pipe murder except everything’s the exact same but on his way out, elias slips comically on a puddle of blood and accidentally hits himself with the pipe. he doesn’t die or anything but he gets a mild nosebleed and the eye starts laughing at him
brutal pipe murder except everything’s the exact same but on his way out, elias slips comically on a puddle of blood and accidentally hits himself with the pipe. he doesn’t die or anything but he gets a mild nosebleed and the eye starts laughing at him
btw he doesn’t just slip i mean he fully slips and falls to the ground so the entire back of his suit is just covered in blood. and he is so mad about it. that was his best suit. jurgen leitner being an inconvenienve even in death
would’ve been so funny if when jonah was all “you have feelings for jonathan sims. lol” at martin he would’ve just smiled evilly and replied “oh but elias. so do you.” because the only thing sadder than having a crush on jonathan sims is having an unreciprocated crush on jonathan sims and being that weird about it.
i mean it could’ve never happened because of martin’s low self-esteem but the mental image is beautiful
brutal pipe murder except everything’s the exact same but on his way out, elias slips comically on a puddle of blood and accidentally hits himself with the pipe. he doesn’t die or anything but he gets a mild nosebleed and the eye starts laughing at him
yknow what. yeah. and it would even make sense lore-wise because he’s literally inside someone else’s body AND brain, like that’s gotta fuck with your sense of balance and direction at least a bit. the real reason he shot gertrude was because she saw him walk right into the doorframe of his own office or stumble over misplaced boxes in the archives one too many times
Kind of obsessed with the idea of Tim being the only one to notice some unhinged shit going on with Elias early on and nobody believes him. He finds old divorce papers with Peter Lukas and he’s like holy shit our boss was (is?) married to blorbo from the statements. Before he can get anyone else to come look Elias has already hidden/destroyed the evidence. Tim finds Barnabas’ bones and he’s like “hey uhh why do you have bones in your office” and Elias offhandedly answers “oh that’s just my bestie Barnabas we go way back” and Tim stares at him bc these bones are obviously over a hundred years old. Elias just looks at him like “no one will ever believe you :)”
brutal pipe murder except everything’s the exact same but on his way out, elias slips comically on a puddle of blood and accidentally hits himself with the pipe. he doesn’t die or anything but he gets a mild nosebleed and the eye starts laughing at him
yknow what. yeah. and it would even make sense lore-wise because he’s literally inside someone else’s body AND brain, like that’s gotta fuck with your sense of balance and direction at least a bit. the real reason he shot gertrude was because she saw him walk right into the doorframe of his own office or stumble over misplaced boxes in the archives one too many times
even funnier concept to add onto this: not only is he incredibly clumsy, he’s also incapable of just moving on when something does happen. like if he hits his head on something or trips and falls he just HAS to sit there on the ground for a few seconds holding his head going “owww oww that really hurt” like an anime character.
yknow how we say “sans undertale” or “steve minecraft” i think we should start calling him “magnus archives”. not because he doesn’t have a full name just because i think that’d be kind of funny
my interpretation is that the three main things the fear entities appeal to in order to gain avatars are love, meaning, and freedom.
avatars of the corruption and the desolation seem to talk about love the most. love of the hive, love of destruction. love that corrupts and love that burns. their avatars are often people who have been deprived of love, or whose idea of love has been destroyed in some way.
for meaning, i think the most relevant one is the eye. something you can devote yourself to, something you can worship. the desire for knowledge can define your very existence. this can also apply to the hunt; your purpose becomes catching your prey. hunt avatars are often looking for a reason to feed their violent urgents. eye avatars are just looking for something to believe in.
freedom defines a lot of entities. the vast, obviously, being able to throw yourself into something with no regard for the consequences because nothing matters. if nothing matters, you’re free. same goes for the dark; if you cannot be seen, you can do whatever you want without fear of judgement. these avatars usually seem extremely hedonistic and uncontrolled; their faith in order or the universe has been shaken in some way.
i’ve seen a few people theorize that redcanary is this universe’s jonah magnus host because of the whole “canaries should stay above ground” thing and the objectively funny thing about this theory is that it implies that jonah magnus knows how to post. it implies he logged into redcanary’s account post-possession (unless they were already logged in), took an image of their torn out eyes, managed to upload that image into the right thread, captioned it, and then posted it.
he might be 200 years old but by god my girl knows how to blog!!!
gertrude/jonah/peter could be really funny but also like. three people stuck in an endless cycle of trying to stop each other. convoluted plans destroyed within seconds. mutually assured destruction. you’re so predictable, but also how could you. i love you, and you have to die. only one of them can win, but how sick and twisted would it be if that victory tasted bitter and empty in the absence of the other two. three people convinced that they’re the hero of this story, and none of them actually are. they’re just three awful people who are so incurably tied together. they’re just three people and they will be the death of each other
gertrude/jonah/peter could be really funny but also like. three people stuck in an endless cycle of trying to stop each other. convoluted plans destroyed within seconds. mutually assured destruction. you’re so predictable, but also how could you. i love you, and you have to die. only one of them can win, but how sick and twisted would it be if that victory tasted bitter and empty in the absence of the other two. three people convinced that they’re the hero of this story, and none of them actually are. they’re just three awful people who are so incurably tied together. they’re just three people and they will be the death of each other
my favourite thing is coming up with face claims for tma characters by just looking at artists i like. from audio media you came, to audio media you shall return or something
