do you have any season 4 or 5 jonhelen/one sided jonhelen headcanons? or just general thoughts about them?
oughhjj yess,,,
helen is kind of just. a mess emotionally the whole time. she doesn’t understand what her feelings are or how to get rid of them (and she very, very much would like to get rid of them). it honestly takes her way too long, like well into s5, to actually realize she’s just in love with jon. so for all of s4, she’s basically just trying to get rid of The Bad Feeling and get The Good Feeling, and the easiest way to do that is to just. be around jon.
around s5, it gets a bit different for her because like. the good feeling is still there, but now it’s mixed in with this way more intense bad feeling. and that’s around the time she realizes what’s actually going on, because the only big change about jon in her eyes is that now he’s with someone, and that someone is not her.
added onto all of that, there’s also the bone-deep insecurity probably caused by her constantly being around two people that not only dislike her, but are also, on some inherent level, better people than her, and they act the part too.
just. a lot going on for her, and none of it is good.
i might get killed all the way dead for this take but i’d argue that helen distortion has more implicit gender fuckery going on than michael distortion. i mean, michael was first a man (michael shelley) and genderless (the distortion), and then both (michael distortion). helen was first a woman (helen richardson) and both a man and genderless (michael distortion), and then both a woman and genderless and formerly a man (helen distortion).
Micheal and Helen headcanons?? (Only if u feel like it)
HELL YEAHHH
not a lot for michael tbh. but i do have a bunch for helen (both richardson and distortion).
pre-distortion helen was a bisexual so deep inside the closet she was practically in narnia. she knew that coming out or even exploring that any deeper than “oh, that exists, i need to hide it forever” would make her life infinitely worse, especially considering the people she’d surrounded herself with.
helen richardson had a form of depersonalization-derealization disorder that went completely undiagnosed her entire life.
the distortion didn’t want to be helen, but, to some degree, helen wanted to be the distortion. or, more accurately, she wanted to stop being herself, which is why helen distortion finds it so easy to talk negatively about helen richardson despite technically being her; it’s what she always thought of herself too. becoming the distortion was an opportunity for her to finally stop being who she was.
helen distortion’s favourite band is tv girl. helen richardson never listened to tv girl, but somehow, she knows that that particular preference originates from her.
helen distortion doesn’t actually have full control over the doors. they act as an extension of her, or she acts as an extension of them, and sometimes the doors just. appear. sometimes they correspond with her emotions. she gets a bit embarrassed about it everytime.