moose-driving:

radioactive-yuri:

are people interested in more helen distortion thoughts. because i have many to share

Give me Helen distortion thoughts please. Helen has to be one of my favourite weirdo entities

YAY YAY YIPPEEE

she embraced her nature as soon as she became the distortion, with shockingly little resistance. because she doesn’t care!! she’ll always do what she needs to to live!!! and she’s upset that others won’t do the same. because that makes her feel like a bad person (which she is.)

she constantly wants jon to give into his true nature because that’s what she did. and if he continues to prove that she didn’t need to, and that you can be an avatar and still not lose yourself, she’ll have to face the fact that she just. didn’t try hard enough. or that she was somehow inherently worse than jon from the start, even before Becoming. which she probably was!!! she’s such a “you’re not better than me! stop acting like you’re better than me!” type of character. i feel like her and jude perry are pretty similar in that; they just present it in different ways.

there’s also my little headcanon that she was always an excellent liar. it probably started out innocent enough, but at some point in her life, almost everything she said was a lie to some degree. the entirety of “helen richardson” was a persona she was putting up, and she stopped considering herself a real person. she was a facade with nothing underneath. the first time she felt like a real person in years was when the distortion marked her, because that fear was much more real than any of the “joy” or “pride” she’d felt. basically, for almost her entire life, helen richardson had a severe case of imposter syndrome and undiagnosed depersonalization-derealization disorder. she kind of always belonged to the spiral.

god i love her she’s so horrible and tragic