2025-01-20 3:48:46 ¶ ● ⬈

skiesandcandy:

> (Jon archivist voice) My whole life I have been completely rejected and isolated from everyone around me, whether people meant to or not. I never could have the closeness I needed to mature properly with my only living family. I could never connect with them. I always knew they didn’t actually want me around and only took me in out of pity. Any attempts I’ve ever made at progress have been ignored or viewed as lies. Everyone I’ve ever loved has thought I was a waste of their time and sometimes I want to get worse on purpose and be loved for it. Sometimes I want someone to see how awful, how horrible so much of me is, and be proud of me anyway. I just want someone to tell me that I’m good enough. Not that I was an innocent victim or I didn’t do it at all and then reject me when they realize what I’ve done. I want someone to know how awful I actually am and for them to somehow find a reason to be proud of me. Anyways Jonah can I call you dad during sex. For no reason.