Tumblr deleted some of my tags on a post and now I can’t remember what they weeeeeeeeeere.
Ok here’s the gist of the deleted tags in textpost form, with some Additional Thoughts:
The first (and perhaps only) time Jon and Elias hook up throughout the entire internship happens near the end, I think. Elias is an attentive lover, takes such good care of his boy, wants to make his first time so good for him. Jon calling him dad the first time he cums, horrified and ashamed. But it’s alright, Elias knows what he needs. Jon just needs to let his father take care of him. Jon feeling so good, Elias fucking him out of his mind, Jon clenching hard on his cock whenever he calls Jon his son, his darling boy. He brings Jon off multiple times before finishing deep inside. Holds him in the aftermath, petting his hair, murmuring praise and affection. Jon feeling warm and safe, held in his father’s arms (he’d hate himself for the thought, if he had the energy to do anything other than holding Elias back so tightly, head resting on the solid plane of his chest.
He asks Elias if he thought it was weird, wrong to call him “dad” during sex. And Elias kisses him so tenderly on the forehead. “Of course not,” he says. It’s a common enough fetish, and Elias is certainly old enough to be his father (a thought that makes Jon squirm very briefly in his arms, want to grind against him, so so turned on). It’s perfectly fine, it’s just a kink, it doesn’t mean anything.
And Jon lies quietly in his arms. Thinks about how much he looks up to Elias. How much he cares for him. Wants his praise, validation, respect, love. Thinks about his longing to be raised by Elias, his stupid little fantasy of being his son that started getting strange and sexual despite his best efforts to deny it. It’s not just a kink. Somehow, in some twisted way, Elias feels more like a father to him now than he ever did before.
Split into two because I could <3. Anyway now’s the obligatory “and then Jon gets pregnant” part.
Jon doesn’t notice it until he’s back at school, starting his first (maybe second) year of college. The bloating. Tiredness. Morning sickness. Tells himself it’s just stress, that he couldn’t possibly be pregnant (he’s on T, he only slept with Elias once, surely he can’t be-) but of course it is. He’s not even halfway through his academic career and he’s already thrown it away. Pregnant to a man old enough to be his dad, living in a different city, what on Earth was he thinking.
(He’s trying not to think about being pregnant with his father’s child. Elias isn’t his dad. He’ll probably never see the man again (even though he wants to work at his institute so desperately he doesn’t can’t even imagine any other future)
He should get rid of it. Shouldn’t feel comfortable with the knowledge that he’s keeping a piece of Elias (his father) (Elias-) so close inside him. It’s irresponsible, stupid, but he does.
And then Elias is in Oxford on some business, wants to catch up, see how Jon’s doing. He misses him, all their conversations… and Jon can’t find a way to get out of it, a way to do anything other than show up, baby bump already visible, to meet with the man who impregnated him while Jon whined and sobbed and called him “dad.”
I don’t really know where to go from here tbh <3