hello. I am not fully caught up on the incest au or whatever but is Jon still the Archivist? I wonder. is it nice to be chosen in that way rather than simply the happenstance of shared blood? to see this other side of elias, not just father (and strange father at that) but bureaucrat and leader and academic? the side of him that's steeped in the supernatural? no side is more true than another but still Jon relishes in the chance to know them all equally
sorry im normal
In a lot of the stuff me and various friends n mutuals have talked about yeah! Still the archivist. In it I imagine Jons life was steeped in the supernatural from the start, with Elias constantly encouraging his curiosity and letting him browse appropriate books on the subject. Maybe even letting him read a few statements. Jon grows up sinking deep into the beholding before he even gets to the institute and tbh I think he spent his whole childhood DESPERATELY wanting to see it. Wanting to know everything about what his dad’s doing when he’s away and everything he knows. Believes in that little kid way that his father knows Everything and like. Yk how jon has this unshakable belief in canon elias is fully capable of fixing everything and just chooses not to. I think he has a very similar thing here. He and Elias have a lot more of a complicated relationship in my mind because. Well. He’s elias. But that’s besides the actual ask sorry it is night and that’s when my brain gets scrambled. Actually let me bullet point for the sake of my sanity
• He absolutely likes being chosen. A little terrified he’s not going to be good enough but also I think. He’s so desperate to be Good enough for him. He wants so badly to stay with him, to prove that all his affection and high view of him isn’t a mistake. That he’s really everything his dad believes he is. And this is like the hugest compliment he could’ve given him. Giving him a free ticket into the part of him that he still couldn’t learn much about. Constant “you’ll understand when you’re older.” So much more guidance than in canon but not nearly enough for Jon to be satisfied. This is basically Elias going, you know everything you’ve ever wanted to know? Been begging me to tell you for years? You can have it. Maybe he even tells Jon “you won’t be able to quit. That’s how the institute works.” Just because he knows that it won’t be enough to deter him. Just to make sure Jon trusts him more, make it look more like he has a choice. He’s just opening the door. It’s Jon who chose to rush into it, wasn’t it? Idk. I think jons never felt more special than when elias offers him the position. Offers him a place at HIS institute where he’s always been so curious, in every visit he’s always looked at everything with wide eyes and gotten lost in the long halls taking all of it in, so eager to learn more, so eager to understand. Always unsettled but always felt so deeply at home here, just as much as he did back with Elias. Idk. I’m rambling because I’m tired.
• I think Jon desperately wants to know his father. Needs to understand every little reason, needs to tear out every motivation and thought he’s ever had, needs to see every awful part of him and choose to stay anyway, like Elias did for him. I think when he learns elias can read minds I think he starts desperately wanting to do that too. The safety of it.
• It’s. Hmm. How do i explain. Jon and elias still often antagonize each other especially as jon grows older, jons still jon after all and if he ever thinks elias is hiding something from him or that he’s being a dick he will Loudly Inform him. He is not afraid to hound that man. But there’s so much more tenderness and also their arguments are far more personal and painful for both of them. Btw. My father is the worst man alive and I am his favorite daughter!!!
• Jon always stopping by his father’s office. It carries the same feeling of safety that their bedroom does. It’s warm and comfortable. Always perfectly lit. Not too harsh on his eyes. Not too dark or cold. The feeling of being watched that’s followed him all his life, but the gaze feels fond and adoring and he settles into his lap just as easily as he always has. Whether for innocent reasons or not. Jon sucking hickeys into his skin as he does paperwork,, brushing his fingers through his hair,, wait where was I going with this. Basically what I’m saying is I think he’s fascinated seeing more of his father. Seeing every single place his father is and every mask he puts on and ripping out more and more until he finds every bit of truth he can find.
• I think Jon loves the institute. Really truly loves it. I think he settles into being the archivist like a second skin. I think his relationship with being human is deeply complicated here because elias has been telling him from a young age that whole “what even IS human, really?” and he’s been wondering for a long time if elias was human. If he’s inhuman by virtue of being his kid. I think this has troubled him for a long time but less than it did in canon. I think he’s still incredibly mad at elias anytime he gets Marked. I think he views Elias as the one protecting him from getting any deeper than it than he has to, showing him tools he can use to survive. I think he also is a bit pissed he never got to live a life without them. That he’ll never know who he would’ve been if he wasn’t entrenched in all this. But then , would he even be living? Would he even be him? I think imagining himself without the powers he developed far too quickly feels a bit terrifying.
• I will probably come back to this in the morning when we have a brain. Because we Cannot Think rn. Hope this is ok!! Ajgdkdhd