Something about Elias as Jon’s adoptive parent has been compelling me for a while now,, something about the dynamic it gives them. Complicated and messy but also very very horny OK. I think it could be so fun.
Ohh my god I love this ao much I have to put my thoughts out of the tags I’m sorry. I’m being attacked by brain worms rn. Jon who feels completely responsible for his grandma’s death, because he wandered off again and she’d been worried SICK what was he thinking and then. And then. Jon who was so angry and bitter and lonely all the time, snapping at anyone who got too close and always so so scared of everything that moves wrong, not even able to cry. Just feel this horrible horrible Thing in his chest, this hole that feels like it’ll consume him one day and he doesn’t know how to make it stop. Nobody wanted him. Nobody wanted the kid that yells and slams the doors and doesn’t like talking to anyone and hates bad textures and doesn’t like any of your food. Until for some ungodly reason, Elias tells him he’s going to be adopting him officially. And for the life of him he can’t understand why. He’s not cute or polite or appealing or anything any of the others would get adopted for and Elias just seems more than happy to sit in the same room with him and read together. Like nothings wrong with him at all.
Godddd. Jon who doesn’t know if he’s ever loved anyone or how to do it, how he’d even know if he loved someone. Feels sick with guilt when Elias starts saying “I love you” and he doesn’t know if he can say it back, even though he wanted to hear it more than anything. But he’s desperate and feels like he’s dying if Elias isn’t around and clings to him so hard he bruises so maybe that’s close enough. Elias is stern and firm but so gentle. Seemingly endlessly patient. Tucks him into bed and nothing he does ever seems to phase him, not really. Reads to him, gets him a stuffed animal even when he says he’s too old for one, he’s not a baby, and Elias just says he saw him staring at it, he’s really not subtle. Lets him sit on his lap while he reads to him and runs his fingers through his hair and he doesn’t know if he can call him dad but what else can he call it. Doesn’t know if he loves him like you should love a father or loves him in a way he’s really really not supposed to love him or if he loves him at all. Just knows there’s something awful in his chest that wants to cling onto him and never let him leave and burrow into his skin. And the older he gets the worse it gets, but Elias never seems to bat an eye.
I just think. Their first time should be so gentle and loving and possessive. Elias so gentle with him even as he cages him in his arms and tells him how proud he makes him, how brave he is coming to him, he’ll make it so good for him, he promises. I think Elias should tell him he’s safe here and Jon should burst into tears. I think Jon should cling onto him and whine so loudly for his dad, for more, deeper, closer, please, because it’s not even just about arousal it’s about needing to be so close they’re almost the same, about needing to be so beloved and coveted for Elias to open him up and see him and think he’s beautiful and worth taking care of. He’s never felt smaller or safer than when Elias was gently rubbing circles into his back as he cries, so full and so sure he can’t take anymore but needing it so bad he can barely breathe. Jon never feeling more wanted than when Elias gently guides his hands on where to touch him, where to touch himself, his hand so much bigger than his, smiling like he’s indulging himself. Looks at him so fondly he wants to cry. Just. Jon acting more like a kid during sex than he ever lets himself outside of it. Heavy age play before Jon even knows what age play is. Jon doesn’t know how to ask Elias to take care of him but he knows how to spread his legs and whine so prettily and think so loudly “I’m sorry I can’t be nice or make friends or be normal but can I make you feel good? I don’t know if I love you. But I need you. Is that enough? Please take care of me. I’ll make it good for you.” I just. Yeah. Yeah….