sparks-out:

What Jon really needs is some under-negotiated and highly questionable sex where he’s restrained for someone else’s pleasure. It could fix him in theory but the reality of it should be actively making him Worse and Miserable. Ok thank you.

Jon who enjoys sex but also struggles with it. What he should be doing. Overthinking every action and reaction and where to put his hands and how to use his body and if he even should be having sex. If this is wrong, bad, harmful. Instantly relaxing when he’s pinned and restrained and helpless because it isn’t his choice at all anymore. He keeps his hands wherever his partner says and he doesn’t use his body at all because it isn’t his anymore and it doesn’t matter if this is wrong or weird or bad or something he shouldn’t be doing because he doesn’t get to decide anymore.

Naturally, these two facts together make him Very Bad about boundary negotions. It doesn’t work if he needs to talk about them. To say yes and no and maybe in exhaustive detail. He doesn’t get a say and that’s the point and if anything is required of him beyond shyly asking to be restrained then he’s just Not Going To Do It and honestly at that point he’d be better off just masturbating on his own because at least it’s less awkward and messy.

And so, of course, he only ever really ends up having sex with people who are willing to take “tie me up and use me I don’t care how,” and run with it without bothering to figure out where any lines should be. Which of course would never cause any problems whatsoever.