we all have that ONE friend who HATES being hit over the head with a metal pipe😂 and cries PLEASE DONT HIT ME WITH A METAL PIPE MY SKULL IS FRACTURED during METAL PIPE NITE😭😭😭😭💀💀💀💀💀😂🤣
hey anyone fancy exploring these secret tunnels I found under my office? The walls change a bit and I think there’s someone living down here but… I know a spot
what makes the avatars in the magnus archives so great is that despite having ostensibly discarded or transcended their humanity through their patronage to the dread powers, they’re still just human enough to be hilariously petty and have more infighting amongst themselves than a toxic queer household group chat. the entities kept giving them these insane evil powers in exchange for their devotion and instead of using them to bring about the apocalypse like they intended every single one of them was like hmm i will use these abilities to torment my stupid ass coworkers i think.
it’s like if you gave a bunch of people nuclear launch codes and they all just used them to order a precision strike on the house of the guy who cut in front of them in the rush hour traffic last week
i really do love the weird consistency of the fact that everything works on dream logic in tma
it can’t hurt you if you just aren’t scared. you can do it if you just believe hard enough that you can. you can reason yourself out of the ritual of the stranger. you can walk out of the spiral if you decide you aren’t lost anymore. surgically removing the bullet means surgically removing the slaughter. physically blinding yourself severs you from the eye and of course you can stop the buried by throwing someone touched by the vast into it. of course you can trap the lightning monster in the sky book and stop the distortion by locking the door and have your dead husband’s ghost save you from the lonely because why wouldn’t it work that way. it’s really awesome in that it all genuinely does make sense in such a silly strange nonsense way
[ID: Digital drawing of Jon from TMA. He is a thin brown man with short, unruly, greying hair, worm scars, and cartoonishly large and alarmed eyes. He is speaking into the tape recorder he holds in one hand and appears to be gesticulating with his other hand. His expression is frantic, there is a bead of sweat on his forehead, and the lines look frenetic and hasty. End ID.]
in retrospect jon being so confused about why martin would think he wants to be the eye’s pupil in mag194 is such a category 10 jon moment when you consider that he was looking at elias like this not twenty minutes previous
not every entity is a parent figure i think they all mean different things to different people but broadly speaking the ones that are. to me. are like. the buried, the dark, the eye, the vast and the web
the buried -> midwestern father that prides himself on his yard work capability and sees that as the ultimate bonding activity. very big on the “tough love” concept. tells you he’s “just resting his eyes” before falling asleep on the couch
the dark -> weird preacherly fundie homeschool parent. no pokemon or harry potter allowed because it’s devil worship. 9:00pm bedtime until you move out. tells you that the church is praying for you every time you call. terrible cook but you eat it anyway
the eye -> busy and sort of distant. “oh that’s nice sweetie”. hires lots of babysitters and uses expensive monitoring systems so you can’t ever technically say you didn’t have adult supervision
the vast -> goes out a lot and mostly lets you do whatever you want in a way that seems so cool and fun until you’re eighteen and you don’t know how to do anything because you weren’t taught and you wake up in the middle of the night like ohhh. that was child neglect
the web -> rich upstate new york mom that keeps you in her big drafty house because well she just misses you so much when you leave. picks your outfits for you. thinks you have so much potential of you just applied yourself
feel like most of the avatars in tma hating jon on sight makes a lot more sense when you consider that he basically rolled up with no skills no experience no training at all and just consistently failed his way upwards into being the greatest eye avatar the world has ever seen (in no small part due to the jonah magnus’ and the web’s machinations but unless you’re in annabelle’s highly exclusive dms you wouldn’t know anything about that) making the average avatar’s quarterly sacrificial statistics look like a joke and upstaging all those embarrassing failed rituals by not only simply succeeding in his first attempt but also bringing not just one but every single entity fully into our reality. and on top of all that him ending the world means that you have to actually show up to work at your job as an employee at the torture labyrinth every single day for the rest of your life. you have no choice. oh and he can literally explode you with his mind now. yeah i’d want that guy dead too.
got reminded by your tshirt design, any thoughts on annabelle cane?
she’s a legend, she’s an icon, and she is the moment.
i love her, just a character that fully accepts her role in the story and holds it over jon, somebody who spends the whole show actively trying to get away from the narrative. and despite her fully accepting it we still get those little moments where we’re really reminded that she’s just a person and not some otherworldly evil (the small bits in her interactions with martin in s5 where she drops the whole ~avatar of the web~ thing for just a second, it’s her nature but she’s still just a girl named annabelle cane. her fucking “step into my parlor” best woman ever). i also love that her statement to jon doesn’t even try to be in a story format she makes it very obvious that she is using the statement to talk through jon and could crash him if she really wanted to. but even with all that power at the end of the day she was just as helpless in her situation as jon, and she was completely fine with that. black queen.
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