2022-12-08 20:31:28 ¶ ●

“I thought you might be lost.” is one of the most delightfully romantic things Jon ever says to Martin.

It’s so devoid of blame, of derision. A truly neutral statement, soft, no touch of sarcasm, no hint of cruelty. A gentle hand reached out to pull him from the depths of the lonely.

Such an unusual phrase for Jon, especially at that time. There’s no definitives, it’s entirely open to correction, open to being wrong. ‘I thought’ not I knew. It comes from Jon’s perspective, he holds himself out to rejection, something that’s hard to do at the best of times.

'you might be lost’, not you were, not you are. He respects that this may well have been a conscious choice, that Martin really could have chosen to abandon him, preferring the lonely to the lack of certainty in their relationship. But it retains the softness and love, the worry and care. He was worried that Martin might not be able to find his way back, but not willing to drag him out of a place he might have chosen to be.

And that’s not even mentioning the softness with which he says it. In an intense moment of great urgency and importance he’s able to drop his fear, stress, and anger, in an attempt to reach the man he loves.

It’s such an elegant moment of love; in a second Jon is willing to let go of the gravity of the situation and put all of his being into connecting with Martin, and when it comes down to it, it works.