2022-12-01 2:48:25 ¶ ●

## Happy December! Here’s what advent calendars I think the characters in TMA would have!

Jon: Socks, probably. Maybe ties? Something that would be advertised as “top advent calendar to get your grumpy husband 😜”. Martin bought it for him.

Martin: Teabags. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

Sasha: Something really elegant and cool like second hand books or handmade jewellery. She probably saw it on etsy and told Tim about it and he bought it for her.

Tim: One of the shitty aldi own brand ones…. Sasha bought it for him as a joke. (he was even happier with it than sasha was with what he got her.)

Melanie: Some kinda murder mystery one where you get a piece of evidence each day and you have to solve it before the 24th (if this isn’t already a thing it should be)

Basira: A coffee one with different flavours every day. Daisy got it for her.

Daisy: Same as Basira. They both got eachother the same one and they open it together each morning and discuss the flavours…

Elias: He has an original victorian paper one that he’s always used. He lets out a little chuckle every time he opens the pictures. Even though he knows exactly what each of them is.

2022-12-07 0:56:53 ¶ ●

How great is the pain of loving someone who’s avoiding you? Too great, I would say. To know why is often little comfort, Jon knew that Martin was working with Peter Lukas but know why does not stop you needing to know why.

To know so much, to know information you shouldn’t, even to be able to know where Martin was, at times! It doesn’t help. It hinders. You could know every piece of factual information in the world but it will never reveal to you the intricacies of human emotion.

Jon’s very soul is embedded with that undying need to understand, to know! And to lose someone who’s always been so open, so understanding to that need, so willing to help, provide any information, conform to his needs… To lose that at such a terrible time in his life? What more could that do that deepen the maddening desire to know and understand WHY.

Martin always thought he understood why, whenever anyone left like that. Obviously it was him, who else would it be? He wasn’t good enough, he didn’t do enough, didn’t give enough. But when he left Jon what cause would he have to believe that he’d think that? Jon, always so sure of himself, so committed, so strong; he’d never be insecure. Martin would be able to leave him to protect him, and I’m sure he believed that Jon would barely miss him.

The pain of a thing like this often lies in the small details, the things you never really notice when they’re happening, but that stab you in the gut when you realise they’re gone. The morning cups of tea, the gentle insights into eachother’s projects, short conversations over hurried lunch breaks, subtly prolonged goodbyes at the end of a workday…

Stumbling into a cold, empty break room where you might once have had a nice chat (out of politeness of course, nothing more… ) to find yourself alone, the kettle still warm, freshly boiled.

The pain of loving someone who’s left is immense, and so much more so when you’ve only just admitted to yourself that that love is there.

2022-12-08 20:31:28 ¶ ●

“I thought you might be lost.” is one of the most delightfully romantic things Jon ever says to Martin.

It’s so devoid of blame, of derision. A truly neutral statement, soft, no touch of sarcasm, no hint of cruelty. A gentle hand reached out to pull him from the depths of the lonely.

Such an unusual phrase for Jon, especially at that time. There’s no definitives, it’s entirely open to correction, open to being wrong. ‘I thought’ not I knew. It comes from Jon’s perspective, he holds himself out to rejection, something that’s hard to do at the best of times.

'you might be lost’, not you were, not you are. He respects that this may well have been a conscious choice, that Martin really could have chosen to abandon him, preferring the lonely to the lack of certainty in their relationship. But it retains the softness and love, the worry and care. He was worried that Martin might not be able to find his way back, but not willing to drag him out of a place he might have chosen to be.

And that’s not even mentioning the softness with which he says it. In an intense moment of great urgency and importance he’s able to drop his fear, stress, and anger, in an attempt to reach the man he loves.

It’s such an elegant moment of love; in a second Jon is willing to let go of the gravity of the situation and put all of his being into connecting with Martin, and when it comes down to it, it works.

2022-12-25 12:07:23 ¶ ●

## Recently it snowed all across London, so here’s how I think the characters from TMA would find it!

Jon: Goes on about how impractical it is, tells everyone that he’s been late to work because of train delays due to ice on the tracks. (He’s really late because he stopped to make a snowman.) he keeps going out to “get some air.” (everyone thinks he’s chainsmoking but really he just wants to look at the snow)

Martin: Absolutely LOVES the snow. He’s out initiating snowball fights, he’s writing poetry about how ‘the earth is covered with a duvet of icy hopes’ or something like that.

Tim: Having the time of his life! He’s building snow forts and joining Martin in snowball fights.

Sasha: Is also having the time of her life, and is the only reason they managed to build the snow Fort without it falling down.

Basira: Loves the snow, but from a practical point of view it makes doing things really annoying. I feel like she’s got a really cool pair of snow boots though.

Daisy: Doesn’t like it. Coats are bulky and slippery floors make the chase a pain in the arse to do without falling over.

Elias: Loves it… But always goes on about how “Back in the old days the river (Thames) used to freeze over and we’d go out skating on it!” The old days were the victorian era.

2022-12-27 2:30:10 ¶ ●

Martin Blackwood: a delightful man, good friend, constant converse wearer, cute jumper connoisseur, enjoyer of baked goods, avid tea consumer, soft spoken, beloved by many, and possibly the biggest people pleaser ever.

# VS

Jonathan Sims: bastard academic, bad at staying in touch, strict office wear user, ‘the right shoes for the occasion’ type guy, M&S food eater, outspoken and impetuous, and probably one of the most paranoid people ever.

(no one wins, they just kiss)

2022-12-31 5:25:26 ¶ ●

The thing with Jon is that he is actually really funny! His delightfully dry and sarcastic sense of humor is pleasantly visible from the beginning, and it’s gradual decline as pressure builds up is pointed. He never loses his humor though, and in so many cases the crisis enhances it.

It makes me consider his childhood. Jon’s rejected, ignored and hushed pretty often but it scarcely stops his witty comments; is this the environment he grew up it? Its not uncommon for elderly people to have dry humor also, and the mask of academia goes hand in hand with sarcasm.

What’s really fascinating about Jon’s humor however, is how it changes during the apocalypse. When he no longer has to mantain a professional image or his integrity in any way his humor takes much more of a forefront. Of course, he’s still under a tremendous amount of pressure so it would be ridiculous for him to be funny all of the time, but when the social stakes are lowered he’s much more open.

We see it in many moments when he’s with Martin, and even with Basira, Melanie, and Georgie. His jokes are a lot more honest, and he allows them to be simply funny instead of lacing them with intellectualism. For the first time him being professional, polite, and socially acceptable will do absolutely nothing to help him and he’s able to let go.

Even in through the various moments of struggle in their journey Jon’s able to be more relaxed, which in turn seems to create better outcomes; I’d say that this is because it’s not his fault for once, but since he very clearly believes that it is, this reaction is likely as a result of the fact that it absolutely and categorically could not get any worse .

This, I think, is a reason Jon and Martin were able to get so far (and remain so engaging). Even in the darkest depths, the worst of the worst, their survival instincts and coping mechanisms compliment eachother greatly. Jon provides information, knowledge, and the light relief of a very good joke. Martin provides care, concern, and emotional critical thinking.

Their love for eachother was the glue that held together a very well suited team, and together their skills and even their flaws carried them forward.

2022-12-31 20:17:46 ¶ ●

## Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Here’s how I think the tma characters would celebrate:

Martin and Jon: Martin seems like the type of guy who’d want to celebrate with a small group of friends, but Jon does NOT. To even this out I think they’d have a very romantic night in with a nice bottle of wine and the fireworks on TV.

Daisy and Basira: Judging by how quick they were to go out for drinks when trapped at the institute I imagine they’d like to go out clubbing for NYE! And they’d totally kiss over dramtically at midnight.

Melanie and Georgie: They’d have a couple friends over and have a house party (approved by the admiral, of course!), and they’d probably write up bingo cards for the coming year.

Tim and Sasha: A nice big party with their mutual friends. Being social and all sorts of things like that!

Elias: He’d watch the fireworks in Central London. Like an insane person.