Happy December! Here’s what advent calendars I think the characters in TMA would have!

Jon: Socks, probably. Maybe ties? Something that would be advertised as “top advent calendar to get your grumpy husband 😜”. Martin bought it for him.

Martin: Teabags. I don’t think I need to elaborate.

Sasha: Something really elegant and cool like second hand books or handmade jewellery. She probably saw it on etsy and told Tim about it and he bought it for her.

Tim: One of the shitty aldi own brand ones…. Sasha bought it for him as a joke. (he was even happier with it than sasha was with what he got her.)

Melanie: Some kinda murder mystery one where you get a piece of evidence each day and you have to solve it before the 24th (if this isn’t already a thing it should be)

Basira: A coffee one with different flavours every day. Daisy got it for her.

Daisy: Same as Basira. They both got eachother the same one and they open it together each morning and discuss the flavours…

Elias: He has an original victorian paper one that he’s always used. He lets out a little chuckle every time he opens the pictures. Even though he knows exactly what each of them is.

One lighter, gold, spiderweb design….

One thing that’s fascinating about Daisy as a character is that she’s so powerfully slow. Not in wit or intellect, but physically, as a hunter. She knows her power and she has no need to rush or flail, it’s easy to be calm when you have no difficulty asserting yourself.

This makes it all the more clear when the power slips from her grasp. She rushes, fumbles, makes mistakes. There’s very few times that she slips up, early on at least. Aside from a few select moments she maintains the gravitas and power of a wolf or a bear all the way from her introduction to the coffin, but after the coffin things change.

Basira has every reason to be upset at her change, because after that trauma Daisy becomes a different thing entirely. Her demeanour changes, she speeds up, she’s skittish, she loses her strength. She’s no longer slow and certain but weak and clingy.

It might feel wrong to want that slow and steady person back but relationships are like music and if the tempo changes the balance shifts and that can lead to terrible things, things that cause you to lose eachother.

Am I saying that perhaps if Daisy had somehow managed to avoid traumatisation, keep her tempo stable, that she wouldn’t have had to sacrifice herself?

Maybe.

Even in her early moments of irrationality there is a swift calculation to it, an understanding. If Daisy had been able to keep a grasp on her fierce intellect perhaps the violence of the hunt could have been suppressed!

But no, what use is there in thinking like that? After all, animals can never live as long as humans.

How great is the pain of loving someone who’s avoiding you? Too great, I would say. To know why is often little comfort, Jon knew that Martin was working with Peter Lukas but know why does not stop you needing to know why.

To know so much, to know information you shouldn’t, even to be able to know where Martin was, at times! It doesn’t help. It hinders. You could know every piece of factual information in the world but it will never reveal to you the intricacies of human emotion.

Jon’s very soul is embedded with that undying need to understand, to know! And to lose someone who’s always been so open, so understanding to that need, so willing to help, provide any information, conform to his needs… To lose that at such a terrible time in his life? What more could that do that deepen the maddening desire to know and understand WHY.

Martin always thought he understood why, whenever anyone left like that. Obviously it was him, who else would it be? He wasn’t good enough, he didn’t do enough, didn’t give enough. But when he left Jon what cause would he have to believe that he’d think that? Jon, always so sure of himself, so committed, so strong; he’d never be insecure. Martin would be able to leave him to protect him, and I’m sure he believed that Jon would barely miss him.

The pain of a thing like this often lies in the small details, the things you never really notice when they’re happening, but that stab you in the gut when you realise they’re gone. The morning cups of tea, the gentle insights into eachother’s projects, short conversations over hurried lunch breaks, subtly prolonged goodbyes at the end of a workday…

Stumbling into a cold, empty break room where you might once have had a nice chat (out of politeness of course, nothing more… ) to find yourself alone, the kettle still warm, freshly boiled.

The pain of loving someone who’s left is immense, and so much more so when you’ve only just admitted to yourself that that love is there.

The answer of any tory politician when you ask them what their favourite episode of The Magnus Archives is:

“I thought you might be lost.” is one of the most delightfully romantic things Jon ever says to Martin.

It’s so devoid of blame, of derision. A truly neutral statement, soft, no touch of sarcasm, no hint of cruelty. A gentle hand reached out to pull him from the depths of the lonely.

Such an unusual phrase for Jon, especially at that time. There’s no definitives, it’s entirely open to correction, open to being wrong. ‘I thought’ not I knew. It comes from Jon’s perspective, he holds himself out to rejection, something that’s hard to do at the best of times.

'you might be lost’, not you were, not you are. He respects that this may well have been a conscious choice, that Martin really could have chosen to abandon him, preferring the lonely to the lack of certainty in their relationship. But it retains the softness and love, the worry and care. He was worried that Martin might not be able to find his way back, but not willing to drag him out of a place he might have chosen to be.

And that’s not even mentioning the softness with which he says it. In an intense moment of great urgency and importance he’s able to drop his fear, stress, and anger, in an attempt to reach the man he loves.

It’s such an elegant moment of love; in a second Jon is willing to let go of the gravity of the situation and put all of his being into connecting with Martin, and when it comes down to it, it works.

The variety in TMA is so wonderful because it means that there’s an episode for every flavour of mental breakdown!

I love artists that make TMA fanart because they’ll post the most exquisitely terrifying detailed full page piece of an eldritch horror captioned “he’s just a little guy 🥺” and then will turn around and post a chibi sketch captioned “I thought I’d have to stop listening after he brutally murdered that man, but I think the horror of it all just kept me enthralled.”

And both pieces are of the same character.

Recently I’ve been on several very long car journeys with my mum, so of course, I persuaded her to listen to TMA! As a result, here’s how she’s been picturing the characters:

Jon: Older guy, kind of thin, tall but not overly tall, grey hair. (I showed her the popular design for Jon and she literally said “No!! They made him look too cool!!!”)

Martin: younger, shorter, short brown hair, always smiling. (“obviously until things got super serious in the archives… ” ).

Sasha: Average height, midsize, short bobbed darkish hair dyed red. (she said she couldn’t picture sasha’s face, which is kinda poetic.)

Tim: very tall, lanky.

Melanie: very short blonde hair with dark roots, quite petite, quite pretty.

Micheal (distortion): short black hair, pale, haunted look. (I don’t know how she came to this conclusion, we listened to all of his episodes… The heart wants what the heart wants 😌 Although there is a chance that she’s mentally combined both Micheals.)

Gertrude: much older, very short curly grey hair but not in a boyish way, glasses, very short, a bit round.

Daisy: short dark hair, petite, formidable…(“you know, powerful like some smaller women are…”)

Elias: “I can’t picture him, he’s just like… A blob of evil with his evil voice…”

An invitation to join The Lonely

How would you like to feel the blissful weightlessness of true solitude? There’s so much joy in not having to worry about others; it doesn’t have to be that you don’t care about them, it can instead be that they simply don’t care about you. It may sound harsh but the relief is instant.

A light fog across dew speckled grass, fresh, clean country air, a place away from other people. Have you ever been on a hike by yourself? Noticed the way the world lights up when you’re not weighed down by a partner? By leaving them, leaving everyone, you’re allowing them to feel that selfsame bliss.

An empty ocean, the ebbs and flows of the gentle waves caressed by moonlight, the shipping forecast playing idly on your radio. A boat is a delightful place to be alone, to experience the genuine freedom of looking out across the open ocean in the sweet knowledge that nobody else will cross your path, nobody will disturb you.

Even just being where you are now, would it not be better to be there alone? Nobody to ruin the moment for you, nobody to disrupt the flow of your life; and indeed to be ignored by those who might, to have them walk by leaving you unscathed.

Nobody really deserves anybody, and in a world of loneliness that simply won’t matter. Some would say that to be lonely is pain, but they’re wrong. Loneliness is ever so comfortable.

Recently it snowed all across London, so here’s how I think the characters from TMA would find it!

Jon: Goes on about how impractical it is, tells everyone that he’s been late to work because of train delays due to ice on the tracks. (He’s really late because he stopped to make a snowman.) he keeps going out to “get some air.” (everyone thinks he’s chainsmoking but really he just wants to look at the snow)

Martin: Absolutely LOVES the snow. He’s out initiating snowball fights, he’s writing poetry about how ‘the earth is covered with a duvet of icy hopes’ or something like that.

Tim: Having the time of his life! He’s building snow forts and joining Martin in snowball fights.

Sasha: Is also having the time of her life, and is the only reason they managed to build the snow Fort without it falling down.

Basira: Loves the snow, but from a practical point of view it makes doing things really annoying. I feel like she’s got a really cool pair of snow boots though.

Daisy: Doesn’t like it. Coats are bulky and slippery floors make the chase a pain in the arse to do without falling over.

Elias: Loves it… But always goes on about how “Back in the old days the river (Thames) used to freeze over and we’d go out skating on it!” The old days were the victorian era.

Oddly specific, mundane things that are aligned with the 15 fears:

The Eye- Making deep eye contact with a stranger on the platform as the train pulls away.

The Hunt- Wanting something so badly that you can’t stay still anymore.

The Buried- Trying to get your phone back when it falls between your bed and the wall

The Vast- Being a child and hearing about how unknowably large Chuthulu is for the first time.

The Flesh- Looking in the mirror and realising your body’s changed since the last time you really looked.

The Lonely- Realising you’re the only customer at the supermarket.

The Corruption- When you see one ant but once you’ve focused on it you can see the rest of them.

The End- Holding an antique object and knowing that it’s original owner is long dead.

The Desolation- That gut wrenching feeling when you’ve lost something you know you’re not going to be able to get back.

The Stranger- Looking into the eyes of a loved one and not being able to see anything you know in there.

The Spiral- When you say something loud enough to be heard and absolutely nobody processes it or responds.

The Dark- Straining your eyes to try and see something at the end of an unlit corridor that you swear you could almost see.

The Slaughter- Ripping up a letter with your full name and address on and throwing it in the bin.

The Extinction- Being the last player left alive in a survival game and realising that in another life that could happen for real.

The Web- That burning, guilty feeling after you’re manipulated into doing something you didn’t want to do.

What’s the point in having an object of great power if it can’t bring festive joy?

Martin Blackwood: a delightful man, good friend, constant converse wearer, cute jumper connoisseur, enjoyer of baked goods, avid tea consumer, soft spoken, beloved by many, and possibly the biggest people pleaser ever.

VS

Jonathan Sims: bastard academic, bad at staying in touch, strict office wear user, ‘the right shoes for the occasion’ type guy, M&S food eater, outspoken and impetuous, and probably one of the most paranoid people ever.

(no one wins, they just kiss)

The things we leave behind are often thought of as irrelevant- it’s not what we leave behind, but who. I would argue, however, that what we leave can say much about how we lived, which leads me onto my point: what did Jon and Martin leave behind?

By the end neither of them really had many belongings. Martin might’ve had a flat during season 4 but the chances of him keeping it or anything in it when moving to the safe house are quite slim. At the point of moving there they each had all they’d be able to carry on a train to Scotland, not leaving much space for sentimentality.

But when the apocalypse started how much of this would survive? The cabin was the epicentre of the change, would anything there really last in a meaningful way, return to normal? But of course they did take some things with them.

Martin jokes about the bandages turning into snakes, so clearly they’ve had issues with some of their own belongings changing based on domains, so even what was valuable enough to bring with them could have been discarded.

Everything that survived the journey with them would have ended up in their makeshift home of the tunnels under the institute. No doubt it ended up spread out through their shared space, a homely mess, but as we all know there was no chance that it would ever last.

As the institute crumbled and Jon bled in Martin’s arms they were lost, evidence of their existence crushed and broken down to dust; but not all of it. Passed off to Basira, abandoned in a location that somehow survived.

One golden lighter with a spiderweb design, and one tape recorder loaded with the last conversation of Jonathan Sims and Martin Blackwood. Their remains.

Every “flaw” in the magnus archives is actually a really clever plot device. Just incase you didn’t know.

Martin worrying about his heating bill whilst trapped in a hellish apocalypse domain is literally just what it’s like to live in England these days.

I can never decide in my mind what Daisy looks like when she succumbs to the hunt, and i rather like it that way. Becoming animalistic, losing that grasp of humanity that even monsters get to hold into us a terrifying concept.

Everyone knows about werewolves- whether or not you pretended to be one as a child everyone knows that to be a werewolf is to be cursed. To be such a beast that you lose control over yourself; and in turn you curse your loved ones by allowing them to watch you turn into something beastial and other.

Those of you who grew up engaged in spirituality will also be aware of the bone aching horror of seeing the wrong spirit in a body. Watching that canine thing look at you with human eyes, say things to you that a creature of that calibre should never be able to articulate, yet it says these things to you nonetheless.

Equally, many know the fear of seeing a thing that may once have been a human and for all intents and purposes appears to be, but again is simply wrong. The soul is misshapen and all that you can see in the eyes of the one you once loved is an undying, uncontrollable hunger. Even the positive actions it takes are to feed the hunger, you can’t trust a person if you do not see a person when you look at them.

Whatever variation of these things daisy became after laying down her life to serve the hunt, it placed Jon, Martin, and most of all Basira in a place of nauseating terror.

To see something that’s wrong, beastly, warped, is enough to hold you where you stand, but to see someone you love devoid of all that really makes them themself? Agonising.

I love blogging about tma as a Londoner because the majority of the fandom don’t live here so I could say the most insane bullshit ever and it’d be really hard to disprove…

Anyways Breekon and Hope delivered my amazon package today how fucked up is that?

The thing with Jon is that he is actually really funny! His delightfully dry and sarcastic sense of humor is pleasantly visible from the beginning, and it’s gradual decline as pressure builds up is pointed. He never loses his humor though, and in so many cases the crisis enhances it.

It makes me consider his childhood. Jon’s rejected, ignored and hushed pretty often but it scarcely stops his witty comments; is this the environment he grew up it? Its not uncommon for elderly people to have dry humor also, and the mask of academia goes hand in hand with sarcasm.

What’s really fascinating about Jon’s humor however, is how it changes during the apocalypse. When he no longer has to mantain a professional image or his integrity in any way his humor takes much more of a forefront. Of course, he’s still under a tremendous amount of pressure so it would be ridiculous for him to be funny all of the time, but when the social stakes are lowered he’s much more open.

We see it in many moments when he’s with Martin, and even with Basira, Melanie, and Georgie. His jokes are a lot more honest, and he allows them to be simply funny instead of lacing them with intellectualism. For the first time him being professional, polite, and socially acceptable will do absolutely nothing to help him and he’s able to let go.

Even in through the various moments of struggle in their journey Jon’s able to be more relaxed, which in turn seems to create better outcomes; I’d say that this is because it’s not his fault for once, but since he very clearly believes that it is, this reaction is likely as a result of the fact that it absolutely and categorically could not get any worse .

This, I think, is a reason Jon and Martin were able to get so far (and remain so engaging). Even in the darkest depths, the worst of the worst, their survival instincts and coping mechanisms compliment eachother greatly. Jon provides information, knowledge, and the light relief of a very good joke. Martin provides care, concern, and emotional critical thinking.

Their love for eachother was the glue that held together a very well suited team, and together their skills and even their flaws carried them forward.

Happy New Year’s Eve everyone! Here’s how I think the tma characters would celebrate:

Martin and Jon: Martin seems like the type of guy who’d want to celebrate with a small group of friends, but Jon does NOT. To even this out I think they’d have a very romantic night in with a nice bottle of wine and the fireworks on TV.

Daisy and Basira: Judging by how quick they were to go out for drinks when trapped at the institute I imagine they’d like to go out clubbing for NYE! And they’d totally kiss over dramtically at midnight.

Melanie and Georgie: They’d have a couple friends over and have a house party (approved by the admiral, of course!), and they’d probably write up bingo cards for the coming year.

Tim and Sasha: A nice big party with their mutual friends. Being social and all sorts of things like that!

Elias: He’d watch the fireworks in Central London. Like an insane person.