February 2023

OK but if TMA was really an office comedy then in MAG 153 when Trevor and Julia were gonna kill Jon, Trevor would’ve said “Any last words?”, and then Jon would say “uhh…. Yeah, guess how old I am.” and Trevor would’ve pushed his chair over.

I like to think that outside of the archives Elias was known only as the silly, overenthusiastic, eccentric boss who enjoys paperwork way too much. Realistically he was equally feared by everyone but it makes the idea of Tim trying to expose the whole plot a lot funnier.

“Elias is evil and hes masterminding a terrible plan and if we don’t stop him we’ll all end up dead!”

“Elias….? Like, Elias Bouchard? The guy who religiously does his paperwork on the same day every week… The guy who once sat me down to ask if that weird plant in the hall was freaking me out?”

I think you’ll all be happy to know that this very ominous spiral-core message is pasted inside the window of the shop next to the Notting Hill Gate Oxfam.

A while back I was really drunk at a party, and instead of socialising like a normal person I spent my time deliberating over why on earth people obsess over the fact that Jon pronounces Martin with an ah sound, because that’s just the way you say it!

Anyways it took me about an hour of deep thought and desperate attempts to figure out how to fit a harsh R sound into it before I remembered other accents exist.

Me, on trial for two murders that I may or may not have committed: Your honour, I’m LITERALLY in my Jonathan Sims era.

I think the real reason Jared Hopworth wanted a second rib from Jon is because he wanted him to be symmetrical, wanted to give him a neat waistline. He is, after all, notorious for creating so called ‘perfect bodies’!

I love it when podcasts romanticise being paranoid… I’m totally being stalked by otherworldly fears, that’s why I’m pacing round the shop flustered. It’s not cos the security guard looked at me why would it be that…

Obviously I love looking at all TMA fanart but I must say, it’s pretty clear that some of you have never seen a British person in real life.