really resent the popular interpretation of joshua gillespie having beaten the fears, like, i don’t think so! he didn’t get eaten by the buried coffin but the whole bit about “fear can just become as routine as hunger” is saying something very specific, he was traumatised by the entire incident and then he comes to the institute to tell his story where his fear will be fed on by beholding, forever. like i refuse to believe statement givers who didn’t get fed on directly by the archivist didn’t also get nightmares for life, they probably just didn’t get personal dreamscape visits from the archivist. it would track with the amount of loathing the institute inspires. tma very clearly constructs a world where speaking out about your trauma does not help you come to terms with it and begin the process of recovery, it makes it worse. that’s what makes the archivist’s role particularly repulsive. you thought confiding in this person would be freeing, except now you’ll never forget what happened to you, and this will define you for the rest of your life.