for as long as he will let me
Words: 3.2k
Relationship: Jon/Martin
Tags: Post-Canon, Somewhere Else, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Nightmares, PTSD, Crying, Therapy, Healing, Married Jmart
Ao3 link in the source
written for @tmaappreciationweek for the prompt ‘somewhere else’! a continuation of it will be this, always but can be read as a standalone. CW for mentions of Jon’s past traumas (including non-consensual touching, canon-typical worms, canon-typical flesh content, knife violence, spiders, and claustrophobia), wound/injury analogies, and fear of abandonment.
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Jon is tired. It drags at his eyelids, blurs his vision, makes his hands shake ever so slightly where they turn another page in his book. His wedding ring glints very faintly in the light from the lamp. He used to read without the light, squinting at the moonlit pages and holding the book so close to his face that his nose nearly brushed the paper. But Martin is a heavy sleeper—the kind who needs to set twenty alarms five minutes apart in the mornings to get up and who sleeps deep into the afternoon when given the chance—and he’d given Jon a look as he passed him the paracetamol for his eye strain headache and told him to just use the lamp.
“They say lying down with your eyes closed can be restful, even if you don’t sleep,” Martin said a moment after, in that pointed way he does when he wants Jon to learn to take care of himself but doesn’t want to outright say it.
“I know,” Jon said. He did not say that, if he lay down and closed his eyes, he likely wouldn’t have much trouble falling asleep at all.
He just wouldn’t … stay asleep. Best to avoid that inevitability as long as possible, he’s decided.
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