September 2022

disacurveball:

Thought this was funny

ruinedchildhood:

catradoraism:

i love you betrayals between people who still love each other i love you devotion to the point of destruction i love you selfish choices made in the name of love i love you devastating consequences of those choices

eliteknightcats:

eliteknightcats:

if i was a bug i would find you every lifetime just to die in your drink

to everyone asking me if this is a threat or an expression of love: yes

samuelroukin:

mentally putting my blorbo in a pan with oil and garlic and a bit of onion on medium heat. sauteing him until he gets fragrant and a little crispy

3y3:

Laura Benson

FINALYL SOMEONE AS INSANE ABOUT JONAH AS I AM. HELLO.

HELLO

a cropped image from the 4 panel common "two boys on a train" by boycomics. It is the last frame of the comic. Two boys (stylized, simplistic creatures with floppy ears and cat-like smiles) are on a train, sitting across from each other at a table. They are wearing identical hats, and are reaching towards each other: not quite yet holding hands, but about to. Their dialogue reads, "We shall have a summer wedding."ALT

[link for the comic that’s from bc it took my forever to find so I could get a screenshot of it]

nonbinaryeye:

Today’s play: The Performance of Happy Relationship

Script: Never written

Direction: Never given

Cast: Very unfortunate

Play performed simply for the sake of it.

Written for @lonelyeyesweek day 5 courtship

Read on AO3

ACT 1

Elias Bouchard does not care about Peter Lukas. Please keep this information in your mind as it is very important for Elias that everyone knows that.

ELIAS: Good afternoon, Mr. Lukas.

His voice is dripping with politeness. He does his best to hide any signs of familiarity in front of the audience. There is no audience.

ELIAS: What a pleasant surprise!

He fills the silence in the time Peter is taking a seat with more unnecessary words. The previously done proclamation could not be any further from the truth. Peter’s presence is no surprise as Elias knew very well Peter was coming. Peter’s presence is also not very pleasant as Elias is still mad at him about the thing that happened the last time. It is not important for the audience to know what was the thing that happened the last time.

PETER: Likewise. Mr. Bouchard.

Peter hates performing the play. It is pointless. There is no audience to perform for and they both know the script. Unfortunately for Peter, he does not have much to say in it.

Oh, yes, and they also happen to be ex-husbands. Important details that should have been mentioned sooner in the script. Apologies.

Keep reading

watchingthefog:

I love any version of Peter with long hair, but especially when it’s extra long, not just a little scruffy. That man has never had been to a barbershop and he stopped getting haircuts the moment his childhood caretakers stopped cutting his hair for him <3

The first time Jonah saw him after becoming Elias, he itched to run his fingers through Peter’s hair. An instinct left over from Elias’s own preferences; James had liked to pull his hair, but had no further thoughts about it. But Jonah has never been one to deny himself what he wants, so Elias braided Peter’s hair and claimed it was to practice hand-eye coordination in his new body

I can’t actually draw braids, so

Elias is lying on a green chaise lounge, holding a cold compress against his face. One leg hangs over the edge of the couch. he's thinking 'ugh my eyes'. Large text interrupts him, Peter's dialogue:

"Jonah.
"I cannot believe you. I arrived to our meeting and what did I find in your office?
"James Wright's corpse."

Peter is a silhouette in the doorway, blurry through the bright light behind him. He continues speaking, as Elias goans. 
"You planned for me to find him."

"Peter," Elias tries to interrupt. He is talked over. 'Please,' he thinks, 'stop talking.' 

Peter's words continue on, becoming blurry and illegible. But for you, random person reading this, I shall provide a transcript of what cannot actually be seen: "And then I couldn't just leave and be on my way. No, I had to alert your secretary, least sometime else find the body and I, the last person there, be suspected of your murder. And then I had to talk to people, Jonah. So many people, I had to repeat the same thing over and over: I walked into his office and he was just laying there, on the desk, dead as a doornail! I had to give my account to the police, Jonah! Are you happy? Did you have fun watching it all?"

Elias glares at him from the couch, one eyes visible. His eye is bloody and bloodshot and does not in fact belong to the man named Elias Bouchard. "Honestly, Peter," he says. ALT
Elias closes his eyes. "I thought you'd enjoy it. Finding your lover, dead." 

He opens one eye, blood welling up in the corner of it. "How was I to know–" His voice cuts off, eyes widening, and now Peter is visible.

Peter stands in the doorway, backlit by warm yellow light. He is a tall, bearded man wearing a dark nevy blue peacoat and a grey turtleneck sweater. His hair is long, blond with grey streaks. Strands of it fall over his face, hiding one of his eyes. The other eye is narrowed into a glare.

Elias is halfway sitting up on the couch now, leaning on one elbow. His eyes are wide, blood now dripping out of them, and a blush spread across his face and onto his shoulders. ALT
"Jonah?" Peter asks. 

Elias stares at him wide-eyed. He is blushing heavily. Blood still drips down his face from tearing out Elias Bouchard's eyes. 

"Jonah?" Peter asks again. "Did something go wrong?

"Not that I care," he adds in a mutter. ALT
Elias is in the same pose as the last panels. He is now smiling softly, his eyes half lidded. 
above him is pasted a screenshot of the previous tags on this post, where Tumblr user Cyeayt says: #I'm gay actuallyALT

hauntedhotel:

Oh my god, just got to the TMA liveshow and Jon and Martin’s first meeting is so ridiculous I’m crying.

I don’t understand how it took Martin such a long time to figure out that Jon might do a good impression of a snotty, stoic academic but he’s actually an anxious idiot when their first meeting was so stupid!

Yeah fine Martin let a dog trick him with its cute face and sneaked into the archive but what kind of person responds with “…in general?” when asked if they’ve seen a dog? Did he think a perfect stranger was accosting him at work to ask him if he’s ever seen a dog in his life?

I can’t believe Martin was even surprised that Jon thought he was a ghost. I can’t believe Martin was ever intimidated by him. I can’t believe Martin ever let him live it down. Every one of their interactions for like, six months should be some variation of:

Jon: Martin, have you seen my glasses?

Martin: Yes Jon, they’re very nice. They make you look very smart.

Jon: What? No, I can’t find them!

Martin: Oh! I thought you meant like, in general.

Jon: *silently seethes*

Martin: They’re on your head, by the way.

So, er... How are we feeling about the whole Jonah thing? Also, how do the regency crew get along with the archives crew?

askjonahandfriends-deactivated2:

Sasha has declined to comment.

————

Transcript:

Martin: Barnabas confuses me…In a way…I see myself in him. I see the ways in which we are similar and different. Though what worries me the most is the fog that curls around him. I…don’t know if anyone else sees it. I bring him a cup of tea every day…I hope that it helps.

Tim: Yeah me and Barney are tight. I get called to HR constantly so we’re best buds now. We like to watch movies every Tuesday. Last time was Back to the Future— cause I HAD to. I take suggestions. His partners are lowkey kinda weird though. Idk what’s up with Jon and his name buddy.

Jon, pointing at Dr. Fanshawe: He stabbed me.

thelilnan:

Trust Fall

a Magnus Archives comic

annabelle–cane:

A screenshot of a wiki page. It reads, "John has prematurely greying hair and looks older than he is. [7] He often looks very tired [8] and is physically unfit, as other characters refer to him as scrawny and he tires easily from physical tasks that others perform with little exertion. [9][10][11][12]"ALT

killing me that they have four citations for jon being a noodle armed weak bitch

greelin:

heard the phrase “you audacious little slut” a few nights ago and have been thinking of it ever since

heavensmostadorableangel:

The fact that Jonah met someone with the very specific fear of eye trauma after seeing his friend’s eyes gouged out, and decided he would make a perfect new vessel (a process which involves cutting out his eyes and replacing them with Jonah’s own) is so funny

trustworthy-liar:

Lonelyeyes week 2022 day 7 Honeymoon

cryptid-on-a-string:

having a blorbo be like “Omg have you seen that one scene where he closes the door ????? 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍Oh and that other scene where he’s eating food ???😍😍😍😍!!!!!!! omg I love him so much 💕💕💖✨🌸💕✨💖💕💓💗🌟🌸💕✨💓”

vulnerary-prince:

All men should be whores it’s only right

iamnmbr3:

iamnmbr3:

Rusty Quill: The Magnus Archives is a cosmic horror tragedy. 

Me: I really wish people would remember TMA is a cosmic horror tragedy.

TMA: *shows signs of being a cosmic horror tragedy*

Me:

image

TMA: *Sells out and makes last minute changes to not deliver on the promised cosmic horror tragedy*

iamnmbr3:

iamnmbr3:

Rusty Quill: The Magnus Archives is a cosmic horror tragedy. 

Me: I really wish people would remember TMA is a cosmic horror tragedy.

TMA: *shows signs of being a cosmic horror tragedy*

Me:

image

TMA: *Sells out and makes last minute changes to not deliver on the promised cosmic horror tragedy*

waitineedaname:

divorce as angst: boring, depressing, overdone, I’ve had enough of that in my own life thanks

divorce but the characters are still friendly: good! healthy! more of this please!

divorce as comedy: unparalleled, hysterical, I want characters to divorce each other repeatedly for no reason

navree:

god i don’t know how ANYONE listens to mag 161 and comes away with the impression that they always thought elias was this horrible boss to secretly hate (i mean i do know, it’s memetic mutation and it bothers me), the whole thing, which is exemplified in the birthday bit, is that they were a bit nervous because, as tim said, “double boss”, but he was personable and they liked him and he put in effort to get in good with them and they not only liked having him around and felt comfortable with him (real sasha’s last lines literally included her chuckling fondly over a quirk of elias’s) but that they trusted him with stuff, whether big or small, that they trusted him to look after them (and probably why tim got so angry at elias not doing anything about jon’s season 2 behavior, cuz he trusted elias to step in) which is part of the TRAGEDY. 

it’s why we AND the archival crew are meant to take it as hard as we do when we realize that he (appears to) genuinely doesn’t care about any of them and whether they live or die. it’s the classic horror trope of thinking that there’s a greater power there to save you, mrs voorhees arriving at camp crystal lake to comfort alice, only to realize that no, this is even worse, this is someone who is going to cause you harm. his switch from “good boss who cares about his employees and wants to help them and is friendly with them” to “that guy who brutally pipe murdered a dude and WILL kill/psychological destroy his employees if they defy them” is suppose to hurt the audience and it hurts the characters. it’s that horrible gut feeling of not just realizing that no one is coming to help you, but that the person you thought would do so, the person you trusted and wanted to do so, not only isn’t going to, not only can’t be bothered, but will actively contribute to the problem. 

and if i see anymore “season 1 era the archive crew secretly all hate elias and thinks he sucks” fics i will start throwing bricks in the street.

irwilrenh8ash:

I know that Jonah Magnus is an evil asshole, but the fact that he decided to show up to a surprise birthday party to which he ABSOLUTELY wasn’t invited just to eat cake and drink wine is fucking hilarious.

This bitch showed up, asked for the cake, which at that point was still a surprise, and when he didn’t get to immediately eat it, INSISTED in the most bitchy way possible.

Honestly, maybe they could have convinced him not to end the world by offering him free cake for the rest of their lives, it would have probably worked.

I mean, there’s no cake in the eyepocalypse, Jonah. That was a terrible move on your part.

Barnabas and Jonah having a picnic, except Jonah seems to think he can subsist off of knowledge alone and brought only books to read 

otacringe:

memorycycle:

my prize pig got first place on account of eating all the other contestants

@vague-magnus-archives

xenosagaepisodeone:

beaky-peartree:

the only DB Cooper theories i accept:

  • he died cuz he was an idiot who jumped out of a fucking plane during a rain storm in the middle of the night
  • it’s tommy wiseau

sinister-monologue:

youreattheparty:

shirt idea i came up with while listening to music

Podcast version

recordingbyjonathansims:

inattentiveinsomniac:

[ID: the no fear, one fear meme. It has been edited to read: “15 fears” “none of the fears can ever truly be separated from the others” “one fear”]

k-eke:

Meet my …… kids.

finnsterroni:

I need; to tell you how much I fill with joy each time I see your icon. The. The everything. He. It's beautiful.

Thank youuuu 💖💖💖 he is just a little guy…. a little bastard… I’m love him :3

milkteamoon:

milkteamoon:

Actually the Top Jon Moment of All Time is when he spends the entirety of season 1 building up the idea that hes a hard weathered skeptic who doesn’t believe in any supernatural bullshit and then as soon as he has an emotionally vulnerable moment where it’s outed that this isn’t true he IMMEDIATELY asks his coworker if he’s a ghost. Like no hesitation at all. This man’s reputation gets shoved in the grave and he just grabs a shovel and starts burying it

Hey I hope this isn’t too forward but can we kiss

outofcontextdiscord:

rigidly-controlled-dragon:

frodo-of-the-nine-fingers:

frodo-of-the-nine-fingers:

in a parasocial relationship with the sea

y'all are in denial, she doesn’t love you back she just wants to eat you

Maybe to YOU being swallowed up by an immense, immovable passion indicates a lack of love, but I’m different

dingdongyouarewrong:

just so you know i know this dynamic is toxic and i’m not romanticizing it :/ i’m actually sexualizing it

rnorningstars:

Some of the fandom discourse on this website sounds like “I can’t believe that FaceWearer, the show about the serial killer who tears out his victim’s faces and wears them, would portray a relationship between a boss and his secretary, don’t they know that power imbalances in relationships are fucked up :/”

the-haiku-bot:

ms-demeanor:

I saw that eye tree gif earlier and it gave me an idea.

I saw that eye tree

gif earlier and it gave

me an idea.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

slasherdean:

i love doing apologism for fictional characters. yes he killed people and ruined everything but thats ok bc i like him and hes my little baby. so who cares

johncas:

i excel in the sheets

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

It has been decided that the next step is to acquire a young and innocent man to fuck on the regular

If you were to receive compliments on your appearance what kind would you prefer. Ex: handsome, pretty, cute, etc.

entities-of-posts:

distracted-from-writing-deactiv:

valtsv:

valtsv:

use your imagination

stop using your imagination

@entities-of-posts

The Desolation

dykesbites:

existentialdewdrop:

[I.D: A photo of an iced cake on display. The cake is heart shaped, covered in red fondant, with white icing along the edges. In the center of the heart, a message is written in white icing script. It reads: “I am divorcing you”. Beside the cake is a label that says “Red Velvet Heart Cake”. End I.D.]

thefrogbakery:

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaagghhhhhhhhhh

fairycosmos:

I DONT CARE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws up and dies from caring*

weaponizedalibi:

I love you characters who are bad people, I love you characters that make me think, I love you characters that represent what happens to a person if they make bad choices, I love you characters that make me scared, I love you characters who take out their problems on other people, I love you characters that dont get redeemed, I love seeing the dark side of the human condition

fanficmemes:

Okay I’m gonna go work on my fic!!